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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

regretting being a mommy

Posted by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:25 PM
  • 16 Replies
I have 3degrees, bout my own 1st car,had a job that I was about to be promoted within the company,a lot of money and independance. But I found my soulmate,got married,and moved bc he's active duty army. We startdour family and had a beautiful baby.
Today my day consists of diapers, cooking, disney junior,and cleaing the house.
I have 3 degrees in architectural technology, cad drafting,and land surveying but my career is changing diapers.
I'm miserable.I love my baby and feel so bad about thinking this way but I often think of how nice life would be if she wasn't here. If I just had my freedom back.II'm trapped and I just want out so bad.
How can I feel this way about that beautiful baby? I tell ppl sometimes I feel lik a bad mom but they say I'm not. They don't know what goes on in my head sometimes.
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by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mysticgrl
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:33 PM

Hi Hon,

Perhaps u have post-partum depression...how old is ur baby?  Dont worry, im sure every mother has thought how life would bed if they didn't have kids. Can u go back to work ? 

iluvmybabe
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:36 PM
I've had those kind of thoughts before. I don't have a baby but I am a single mother to a 5 year old so yeah I feel trapped. You can't go back to work? Put the baby in a good day care?
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tiffnic
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:37 PM
I don't have ppd. I'm all around depressed. She's 9months old. I've been fine except for the past month.

Quoting mysticgrl:

Hi Hon,


Perhaps u have post-partum depression...how old is ur baby?  Dont worry, im sure every mother has thought how life would bed if they didn't have kids. Can u go back to work ? 

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tiffnic
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:40 PM
Since my hubs is active duty,he's currently deployed and they don't offer discounted daycare for me to work. If he was here and needed it bc I couldn't watch her then they'd help him with daycare. But bc he has a wife (me) then the won't pay or help with that and we can't afford it on our own with just his pay. Also,I don't have a car so can't go to a job is I had one.

Quoting iluvmybabe:

I've had those kind of thoughts before. I don't have a baby but I am a single mother to a 5 year old so yeah I feel trapped. You can't go back to work? Put the baby in a good day care?
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iluvmybabe
by Bronze Member on Nov. 17, 2012 at 10:54 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh. Yeah, you are kind of stuck. Maybe you could catch the bus or train to different places like the park or museum. So you and your daughter can get out. Just to get some air and look at something besides the inside of your house.

Quoting tiffnic:

Since my hubs is active duty,he's currently deployed and they don't offer discounted daycare for me to work. If he was here and needed it bc I couldn't watch her then they'd help him with daycare. But bc he has a wife (me) then the won't pay or help with that and we can't afford it on our own with just his pay. Also,I don't have a car so can't go to a job is I had one.



Quoting iluvmybabe:

I've had those kind of thoughts before. I don't have a baby but I am a single mother to a 5 year old so yeah I feel trapped. You can't go back to work? Put the baby in a good day care?
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susie3g
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:09 PM
I understand exactly how you feel. I finished my degree in accounting in December, the same month I found out I was pregnant. My son is 18 years old and stays with his stepdad now. I have all my school loans in deferrment and have no idea when I might be able to pay any of them back. I had everything all planned out and now this beautiful baby girl has jacked up all my plans. I've had my moments where I blamed her, but I truly know it's not her fault. It just is what it is. I would much rather be working than staying home cleaning house and changing diapers. Believe me! I feel ya!
But I love my girl. I love her so very much. And I'm sure that amidst you feeling like you're stuck that you feel some sincere love for your child, too. What we are stuck with..may not be our ideal lives,and I sometimes think about how much better things could've been.. but then I think about how much I love that girl.. my bit of serendipity in this life. Focus on making memories with your child that will last a lifetime. Soak in the smiles, the giggles, the hand-holding. Take lots of pictures. We can always work another day. :)
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newmommy21812
by on Nov. 17, 2012 at 11:11 PM

i know how you feel....i was going for my degree in Diesel Technology and had to quit it all because the classes would affect the health of the baby...I was so miserable and had to go to counseling because I hated my life, my body and just wanted to give my baby up for adoption...but once I heard my son's heartbeat and saw him on the first ultrasound I couldn't help but be proud to be having a baby of my own...then he came and I got more depressed because I didn't know how to take care of him and just wanted everything to go away...now that he's older I'm starting to realize that being a mommy is amazing...changing diapers, cooking, watching disney junior and cleaning the house all affects how your baby grows up...i' sure everything will be fine in the end and you will be glad that you have a baby and were able to raise them

lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 9:06 AM

 you obviously need some me time. can your husband watch the baby sometimes while you get out? have a talk with him about it. its easy to get burned out when youre doing the same thing all the time.or how about going back to work and finding a good daycare for you child.there is nothing wrong with that.

CLEKate
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 9:11 AM

You are not alone in feeling like this.  I went through it about 5 months after my first son was born---and I was working at the time (so that didn't "fix" it.)  Having a baby is a huge adjustment and it's one that everyone thinks they are prepared for--but most don't realize the emotional impact/burden.

 

All I can suggest is to get out and do something.  Find local mommies and go to play groups.  Go to the playgound.  Go to the mall.  Get out.  Move around. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Nov. 18, 2012 at 9:15 AM
Her husband is deployed.


Quoting lyrick24:

 you obviously need some me time. can your husband watch the baby sometimes while you get out? have a talk with him about it. its easy to get burned out when youre doing the same thing all the time.or how about going back to work and finding a good daycare for you child.there is nothing wrong with that.


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