Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

will i ever forgive myself!?

Posted by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:44 AM
  • 16 Replies
Just over 2 years ago my nephew took his life. Before doing so he called a few select people to say goodbye and that he loved them. I was one of the few. He told me he was sorry and that he loved me.. I was in such shock I didn't say I love you to. He gave me the chance to say it one last time and I didn't. I regret this so much it kills me everyday knowing there's nothing I can do to change the way I handled the call. He did live for 6 hrs which I sat by his bed side the whole time telling him how much I love him but ill never know if he could hear me :(
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:44 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
leahbeah143
by Leah on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:50 AM

hugs! I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure he knows how much you love him.

twistandshout
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:09 AM

 Sure he could. Sometimes we do and don't do things we think we should have, but you God forgives us and the persons for gives us. You should now forgive yourself.

mrsvixen
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 1:44 PM
1 mom liked this
I am so sorry for your loss. Death is horrible enough, but when its suicide -
it usually comes with so much guilt.
With you being one of the ones he called, he KNEW you loved him. *HUGS*
shygrl3cccm
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 1:46 PM
Forgive yourself now he knows, let him rest in peace. I'm sorry for your lost.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
battisarah
by Bronze Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 1:56 PM
I really hope you try to forgive yourself. He loved you and knew you loved him. Trust me he could hear you. A few years ago I had meningitis and was in so much pain and having hallucinations and such that they sedated me so I just slept for about 5 of my hospitalization. I knew when people came to see me and remembered the conversations they had with each other and me.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Nov. 18, 2012 at 2:28 PM

 im sure he could hear you. they say hearing is the last thing to leave your body. im sure he wouldnt want you to feel guilty over it because he must have loved you very much or  he wouldnt have called you. so dont guilt trip yourself over it. im sorry for your loss.

angel_peanut
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 2:32 PM
Due to a self inflicted gun wound to the head he was completely brain dead.....the doctors told me he could hear me but kinda wonder if they just said that to ease my mind. I know he knew I love him or I wouldn't have got that call. There wasn't much I wouldn't do for him....I was always there for him as he was for me. I hold that call close to my heart knowing only a few got to hear him one last time....his mom dad brother girlfriend and me(well his mom called him so now she lives with wondering if he wld have called her) . Thinking that he gave me that oppurtunity that chance to tell him I loved him and I didn't is so hard.he was crying so hard he probably felt so scared and alone and I didn't even say I love you
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Nov. 18, 2012 at 7:37 PM

 He knew, the whole time you were there he knew,, he knew when you held his hand and cried for his emotional pain he was in.  give your self permission to let your fear of him not knowing go, if you can i will and do give you the permission to forgive your self. if you did say it the out come would not be different. I am so sorry for your loss. try planting a tree or something or even paint on a rock ( to___________ i Love you), it may help.

elwalters77
by Erica on Nov. 18, 2012 at 10:33 PM

i'm sorry for your loss. Please don't blame yourself. he is at peace now.

HOTMOMMY2
by on Nov. 18, 2012 at 11:17 PM

I believe he heard you then and that he hears you know.  He knows you love him he knows and I am also a firm believer that God forgives those their trespasses and sins against him and receive them in Heaven.  I'm sorry your family lost him.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)