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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

he makes me sick

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:47 PM
  • 11 Replies
Lately my boyfriend has been nonstop eating and he hasn't been showering and it's now to the point that I can't even look him in the eyes and tell him I love him...the sound of his voice gives me an instant headache and he is always picking his sores and cuts and bleeding all the time...just typing this makes me want to vomit...how do I tell him how I feel without hurting his feelings?
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by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 8:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tracys2
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 9:59 PM

Tell him you love him and hate to see him that way, and picking sores is a symptom of a treatable illness. Tell him you care and he needs to go get help, that you'll go with him to help or something, that you know it's scary and difficult... just throwing ideas out. Nobody has ever made me go, but the only things in conversations that would work for me are: 

  • for the kids
  • I hate to see you suffering
  • Love you and will love you through all this
  • I have been in a similar situation and.... 

Let's face it, his feelings will get hurt, but letting him continue like that will help nobody, and eventually you won't be able to take it any more.

Good luck!

Ians1Mommy
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 10:01 PM
Thank u I really appreciate ur advice and I hope it will work
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lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:06 AM

 if he is not showering i wouldnt be having sexual relations with him. maybe he will get the hint then. you could always tell him straight up that you dont like that he is not showering and that he is eating too much. buy healthy foods only to put in the house. maybe that will keep him from gaining wt.

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:29 AM

It sounds like he needs some help from a therapist or doc.  Tell him you are concerned about his health and be specific about what you are seeing him do.  I would omit that it makes you sick because I don't think that would be helpful for either of you.  Offer to take him to a doc appointment.

leahbeah143
by Leah on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:36 AM

 I agree with what the other ladies said. I don't know if you can have a conversation like that without hurting his feelings to some extent.

lizjones
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:54 AM
First I would ask if he's okay? The nonstop eating and not showering and being lazy sounds like depression to me. I have severe depression and there are days wjere I don't want to even get out of bed and shower and get ready or anything but I do because I have my son and I have work. The eating thing, I actually do the opposite when I'm in a depression funk and I dont eat at all, but a lot of peope 'eat their feelings' so to speak. My fiancée gets the same way with not showering sometimes for a few days when hes really depressed and what I'll do is subtly mention it. Like in the morning when we are planning out our day I'll be like," okay hun I have to shower and get ready, do you want to shower before I do or after?" You don't want to try to hurt his feelings especially if hs being like this because hes depressed because it may just make it worse.
I hope I helped hun, goodluck.
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gonecrazi
by Silver Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 10:41 AM

 I think being honest would be the best thing 

MSDIMOM
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:09 PM

Well i think it would be best if you told him than a stranger,because it could get very ugly.I would say to him honey we need to talk i love you very much and i want to be with you,but your hygeine has gotten way out of control and you need to takecare of yourself you could have an infection from picking your sores i loveyou i don't want to see you this away.this is affecting us.GOD BLESS hope everything works out for your family.HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY AND SOMETIME PEOPLE NEED TO BE BROKEN DOWN (HUMILITY)SO THEY CAN REBUILD.

Ians1Mommy
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 12:28 PM
Thank u all so much...I finally got him to shower this morning so I think with all of this advice we will make good progress...and as far as the sex thing goes it has been over a month since we have even touched each other and it's really hard for me cuz he won't let me have a vibrator so I'm being punished too and it's not fair
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Gabrielle1982
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 2:42 PM

Are you dating a seven year old?  I jest. In all seriousness, it sounds like something is wrong with him.  That isn't normal adult behavior.  I think the other ladies are right.

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