To sum it up I have Major Depression and also around September my SAD kicks in for a horrible fall and winter. My dd birthday is December 23 and of course Christmas is two days later. I am totally freaking out inside because I am trying to get enough stuff for Christmas and her birthday. I buy a little at a time but this year I don't have a job and she just started having seizures at night causing me to get off of some of my night meds.
I am not big on holidays due to all of the deaths in the family on the day before Thanksgiving, 4 deaths in December including on Christmas Day. There is not much natural sunlight and for some reason, I don't like being around a lot of people so no really going out shopping for me. I honestly just don't know where to turn. I am in therapy weekly but all of my thoughts come at night. Not to mention I am applying for SSDI because I can't keep a job due to the extent of my depression and I feel like less of an adult because I can't work.
My question is when is your worst time. my mind races a mile a minute at night and I cry first thing in the morning.