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i need advice

Posted by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:30 PM
  • 6 Replies

Hi im aubrey i need some advice im going to thanksgiving at my mother inlaws and my hubbys brother in law will be thear he trigers my angzity  thers no reson fo it hesnever done anythin ..well hes obnoshes but lots of people are...im working on geting over it but im dreading going and i love my moter in law shes so nice but i dont know how to tell her that me acting weard is triggerd by him and sometimes i fell like she thinks im upset with her cause im so stand offish when hes thear and i get all tense any advice would help...i should also add that i got off xanax 6 months ago for cost resons 

by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:30 PM
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NEISA50
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Hi aubrey, tell your mother in law what is going on with you and how you get when he is around so she can understand,it sounds like you have a good relationship with her. that way she won't think it's her and that you are upset with her, that way if she knows she might recognize on your face that you are uncomfortable and she can calm you down a little and you knowing that she knows might make it easier for you to deal with it. try to just relax and tell yourself he is not here to make me especially uncomfortable on purpose and you are not going to let him get the best of you. so just enjoy your holidays with your family. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.

rune777
by on Nov. 19, 2012 at 11:45 PM

happy thanksgiving to you to thanks for the advice im more worried shes going to ask y he triggers me and im going to be left with no good answer ....


Quoting NEISA50:

Hi aubrey, tell your mother in law what is going on with you and how you get when he is around so she can understand,it sounds like you have a good relationship with her. that way she won't think it's her and that you are upset with her, that way if she knows she might recognize on your face that you are uncomfortable and she can calm you down a little and you knowing that she knows might make it easier for you to deal with it. try to just relax and tell yourself he is not here to make me especially uncomfortable on purpose and you are not going to let him get the best of you. so just enjoy your holidays with your family. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.


anotherandree
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 2:00 AM
I agree that having a heart to heart with your MIL might be just what you need. It sounds like you have anxiety about BIL and added to that anxiety about your MIL being upset with you. Well, you said there isn't much you can do about BIL because you don't even know where that is coming from. However, you can relieve some other anxiety by simply giving your MIL a heads up. Just my thoughts... Try and have fun!
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lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 8:53 AM
try to avoid him as much as possible. if he tries to get around you have your husband step in and take over. i had a bil that made me feel the same way and i finally told my mom and she was feeling the same way so we looked out for each other.
matreshka
by Ruby Member on Nov. 20, 2012 at 9:36 AM

Try to stay with DH and keep in conversation wiht other family members.  Talk to your DH about a cue or a way you can commuicate if you are getting to stressed out that you want to leave early.  Thats what I do with some of my in-laws.

rune777
by on Nov. 20, 2012 at 11:37 AM

Thank you ladys


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