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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Hello!

Posted by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:18 AM
  • 6 Replies

Hi all! I am new to this group. I am married (for almost 6 years) and have a beautiful five year old daughter. I have suffered from severe depression for years (on top of social anxiety and PTSD). Every day is a struggle and now that the winter is here, It has gotten very difficult to refrain from my normal depressive outbursts and private implosions :(  I am trying very hard to keep my head up and do everything that I should be doing ( being attentive to my daughter and husband, house hold chores, being a good friend and good sister), but i am finding it very hard. I have put on five pounds in the past month, not really sure how but this is just feeding into my depression ( I am well overweight so five extra pounds just puts it to me!!!) My husband made a snide comment the other day about someone saying I am a bad wife.. which by my standards, IM NOT.. I cook i clean (i even serve him dinner on the couch). I finally got it out of him why (after a few weeks of questioning if it could possibly be true!!!) and he said it was the guys at work saying it because he doesnt go out with them to drink! umm, I BEG him to go out with his "friends" and he refuses to go.. so how does that make me a bad wife?! because he simply leads them on to think its me saying he CANT go!!! My daughter has been so out of control lately (hitting and yelling) and im just so fed up with it. (we do not scream at her or hit her, so what the hell!!) I just cant take much more anymore. I tire easily and find myself dragging to do my daily routine. ( I am on disability because of severe degeneration of my disks, and this leaves me home all of the time). I feel almost useless these days. The bills are all behind and I cant help pay them (my ssdi goes all to the rent) and I just dont have the motivation to get outside and run around with my DD in the crappy cold weather.. I have almost thought about going to a therapist, but i dont want them staring at me like they are listening when they really arent.. All I really would want is to go back on my meds, but in order to get the meds, i have to go through therapy.. grrrr... ugh, sorry ladies just a lot going around this head of mine.

by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:18 AM
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Replies (1-6):
lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:32 AM
1 mom liked this

 i dont think your husband thinks you are a bad wife. i do think he was going off of what his friends say and i think he uses you as an excuse. better off that he wants to be home with you instead of go out with them. not all therapist are like what you described. i would suggest you look for a good one and get on meds cause you dont have to live like this. i hope things get better for you.

JansRainbow
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:56 AM

I am sorry for what you are going through. Please seek therapy and medication. Help is out there for you. A good therapist will listen to you and really care. I had some that were awful. The one I have now is the best one I ever had. He shows he cares and I trust him. That is important in therapy. If you find one and don't feel comfortable, you can always change. Give it a try. If you do feel uncomfortable, talk about it. You need to be honest with them so they will know how to help you. I hope things get better for you and you get the help you need. Take care. Sending hugs.

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 10:56 AM

I have a therapist who is really good.  It takes time to build a reationship with them.  I would go so that you can see the doc.  Its the same with me as well, I have to be in therapy to see a psych doc.

The winter can be very hard.  Its actually sunny and warm here today and already I feel better than I have in weeks.


deltathree
by Gold Member on Dec. 3, 2012 at 11:39 AM

HI & welcome!  glad you're here. :)

leahbeah143
by Leah on Dec. 3, 2012 at 12:24 PM

 hugs! and welcome to the group. You can always try going to a couple of therapy sessions and just see if it's something that you think will help.

icn_mom
by on Dec. 3, 2012 at 7:14 PM


Quoting matreshka:

I have a therapist who is really good.  It takes time to build a reationship with them.  I would go so that you can see the doc.  Its the same with me as well, I have to be in therapy to see a psych doc.

The winter can be very hard.  Its actually sunny and warm here today and already I feel better than I have in weeks.


I had a therapist that I REALLY connected with, but my insurance did not accept her, so I had to pay out of pocket. she gave me one hell of a deal @ 50 an hour, but to go weekly it would be 200 a month, and my finances wont allow it :(  My insurance does cover the local therapy group, but ive been there for my daughter and needless to say it really scared me to even look at an adult therapist there (the therapist my daughter saw was um lets say not very helpful!!) I am going to see if I can keep motivating myself, and go from there. It was beautiful outside here today, so i made myself go outside with baby girl and kick a ball around, and it really lifted my spirits :) I even got the whole house clean and laundry all done! started out a sad morning, but progressed into a really nice day.

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