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Depressed on meds and still not helping. Need a life change but no way out.

Posted by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 9:49 PM
  • 9 Replies

Im going to start off saying I love my husband very much. But I have issues and he does too. He goes to work and comes home and plays video games or goes to the gym. He's great with our boys and helps around but I have seasonal affective disorder and suffer from depression. Well, from October to Jan Im pretty much useless. I try and try and try but.... well for the first time in my 12 years of having depression Im on meds. My problem now is, why have I had to resort to those and why arent they helping my situation. Im constantly feeling like something is wrong in my marriage but my husband doesnt see it. Which leads to fights which leads to more doubt... I just want out of this circle.... 

I should add that we were apart (4000 miles) because we were living overseas and he had to move back 6 months before I could. (Military related) He would go out with friends n such. 

armydrinkingbackpacktoddler boy

by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 9:49 PM
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by on Dec. 4, 2012 at 10:47 PM

Being that far apart is major stress for anyone!!!

How long have you been on the medications? Sometimes they take a while to kick in.

It sounds like you may be feeling like your in a rut, do you do things for yourself? hobbies? down time?

CafeMom Tickers
by Leah on Dec. 4, 2012 at 11:39 PM

 I would say that doing the long distance thing is probably causing a lot of stress on you as well as the relationship. I know when I started taking zoloft, the pharmacist told me that it could take a month to start seeing any affects, and it took about that long. I've had to bump up the dosage a few times too since I started taking them.

by Group Admin on Dec. 5, 2012 at 5:12 AM

 it could be the seperation causing you to feel so bad. are you seeing a therapist? it might help you. talk with your husband about how you feel so he can reassure you of your doubts. hang in there momma!

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:17 AM

Long distance is very hard and combined with it being winter it sounds like it would be very difficult for you. For me, I found that meds only get me to a basic level of functioning, so I can get out of bed and do the things I need to do but I still have problems. If you aren't already, try seeing a therapist to learn some coping skills to get through the rough days.

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 9:46 AM

I hope you can get your medications changed/upped so that they help you. But I suspect your husband wanting to play games or go to the gym when he's home is part of the issue. Mine does that too and makes me quite lonely. Do you think that may be part of it? Maybe that's what he thinks marriage is supposed to be like and you want more? I don't know, just throwing ideas out.

I do agree therapy might well help with all the issues like that you ahve stored up in your head. They can weigh you down.

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 10:35 AM

If your med's aren't helping, tell your doctor. A change may be needed. Seeing a therapist can help so much.Talk to your husband about how you feel. Hope things get better. Take care.

by Platinum Member on Dec. 5, 2012 at 11:32 AM


by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:44 PM

Thanks everyone. I was seeing a therapist in Germany but being back in the states now I have to wait for appts. I finally got my meds switched over. I've been on Welbutrin and when I was in Germany they put me on citalopram too but I hate that one. We are now back together from being apart for 6 months and I think we are just getting re-aquainted and we have added stupid stress in our lives (husband has some legal issues as well) plus we have no car right now (its being shipped) and husband goes everywhere and Im in the house with the kids by myself while he does all the running around.

by on Dec. 5, 2012 at 1:59 PM

Where in the states are you now?  Do you have some friends there? I hope that things get better, I feel your pain.  My hubby and I took 9 months before we made it thru the huge gap that living apart caused.  I am also not doing well right now and am mad at how hard it is to get Tricare to get me a therapist.  It is so hard to get started and restarted...with every move!  I wish you well.

Hang in there....

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