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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

cutter

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 18 Replies

I'm a former "cutter". I started when I was 18 and did it up until I had my daughter when I was 21. I never would cut  where I was wanting to kill myself. I just got a high, a release from doing it. I was also on medication and even was evaluated at a mental hospital and they just up the dosage of medication I was on at that time. Medication didn't work. The only reason why I don't pick up a knife or razor again is my daughter. Any others out there who use to cut as well?

Posted by Anonymous on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:25 AM

 im not a cutter and have never been but i am so glad you stopped.

leahbeah143
by Leah on Dec. 9, 2012 at 11:39 AM

 you know, I never really thought about it, but looking back I probaby would have been considered a cutter of sorts. I used to carve "tattoos" into my legs, I pierced my own ears, and I used to burn myself with lighters. That was around jr high, and I haven't done it since then.

strngenough
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:05 PM
I used to be. Me and pain have a special relationship. I guess it was nice to feel something I understood. This emotional crap is much harder. Still get a rush when I feel a cool pain like when taking fighting classes and I got a firm elbow to the diaphragm. Hard to explain, but I'm sure my instructor thinks I'm nuts now.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:09 PM

This is completley understandable. I went from cutting to liking rough sex...handcuffs, spanking, etc. so I understand. They say that we transger one habit to another...we never stop having habits we just replace the ones we had with another.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:12 PM
Yes. Until I had my ds I did.
Tracys2
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 12:54 PM

I wasn't, but I think it was only because I didn't think of it or would have got caught. It is very appealing. Physical pain is so much easier to deal with!

teddybear2272
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:17 PM
1 mom liked this

yes i'm a cutter. started when i was in high school.  back then was only where i could pick and mess with scabs, cuts and stuff like that.  i would mess with them so much that they would get infected and have left small scars.  then in my 20's i moved to actual cutting.  i would use razors to cut "lines" on my arms.  that's when i got on medication and i was able to stop.  but started again when my mom passed, upped my dosage and was able to reframe.  it was almost 5yrs i went cutting free.  now i'm in a very stressful situation and i started again.  "lines" on my legs and the picking again.  but i'm glad to say that it's been a few weeks since i cut and i'm really trying to stay strong.  it's good to know there are people out there with the same struggle.  we can find support from each other.  hit me up anytime.  always willing to listen.  luv u me 

strngenough
by on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:24 PM
I guess that makes sense. If its not intimate sex then I want it rough. Huh....
Well the fighting part is a good part of it, but probably not rough sex thing.


Quoting Anonymous:

This is completley understandable. I went from cutting to liking rough sex...handcuffs, spanking, etc. so I understand. They say that we transger one habit to another...we never stop having habits we just replace the ones we had with another.


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SandyLaxner
by Bronze Member on Dec. 9, 2012 at 7:53 PM

I scratch till I bleed.  I make sores then pick the scabs.They get infected.  I'm on Xanax and Zoloft for depression/panic/anxiety.  I don't feel any adrenelin rush.  I just cannot stop.  I'm 47 and started 18mos ago.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Dec. 9, 2012 at 9:03 PM

I stil get the urge to cutt but I look at my daughter and know that I wouldn't want her to see me like that. I have scars on my arm from when I use to cut. My husband never knew until now that I was once a cutter. I had told him when we got married I have a problem with depression and like pain. I also remember telling him that I use to cut and how much of a high it would give me but more like he zoned it out. When he recently saw the scars on my arms I could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew that I have felt pain and had been hurt bad in my past to have to resort to cutting. Growing up my parents use to argue all the time and I never had any close friends. The only way I could deal with things was by cutting. Cutting just made the pain go away. It made everything go away that I couldn't control.

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