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Husband has depression and history of drug abuse please help

Posted by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:56 PM
  • 7 Replies

My husband has always been more emotional than other guys. He has a history of everyone hurting him (his words) His childhood was awful due to a controlling and abusive step-dad and a mom who didn't stand up for him. He started using drugs at a very young age. He left home as a teen and became a ward of the state. He got a girl pregnant at 18 and married her. That lasted less than one year and then he fathered another son. By the time the first boy was 3 the mom remarried and my husband signed over his rights. The boy lives in our town and we don't see him. The second boy was moved out of state by his mom at 3. We just made contact with him and recently had him to our home for a few days. He is now 12. My husband also has a 4 year old daughter. That relationship with Mom didn't work and I met him when his daughter was 2. He treats this child like a princess and really needs parenting classes. (that is another story) His drug use over the years led to an addiction to meth.I'm not exactly sure when he quit but I know that he wanted to clean up his life when his daughter was born. I think meth had been done prior to that but he still didn't really have his life together. He has never had a relationship last. He has changes jobs and moved several times. He has a history of running away when things get tough instead of trying to make it work. So, that being said-We are married and he has very bad mood swings. He has severe anxiety and depression. I finally got him to a doctor last week and they started him on zoloft. He has changed jobs and plans for his future several times since we've been together. He went to college for 2 semesters and then quit. He is currently running his own business and it has done so well that he has even more stress. He is short tempered with me. He gets mad at me over things and doesn't speak to me for days. I know that he needs help and I know that I can't fix him. (I'm a fixer) I start therapy to work on me in a couple of weeks. (couldn't get in sooner) In the mean time, I'm wondering if anybody has any suggestions on any of this? He gets very defensive when I try to talk to him and I don't want to start a fight. I walk on egg shells with him because I never know what mood he will be in. His mood swings are crazy and he is making me crazy.

by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 12:56 PM
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by Leah on Dec. 10, 2012 at 1:31 PM

 will he go to therapy too? my ex was on meth, and even after he quit he still was acting like a crazy person.

by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 6:32 PM
I was once with a man like this. He history, I hated walking on egg shells.
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by on Dec. 10, 2012 at 7:26 PM
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try to get him into therapy or speak to your therapist and see if they can take care of you and your husband. good luck and i will pray for you both.

by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 1:22 AM

I know what you mean.  Its a crazy life.  Id recommend you go to  ALANON meeting(they are for the significant other of an addict/alcoholic) , It helps YOU mostly and then life get better.  Im thankful  for meetings and  the other replies --they helped me remember what life was like  and  it was terrible to go through those horrible times.  I often forgot about them and got back on that roller coaster. It never ended .   Its so true that the effects of that drug cause the same things in the men we love..  Its such a horrible drug..............                   You cannot change him , you can only change youself......

by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 9:31 AM

I would suggest Al-Anon for you.  Just because he is not using meth does not mean he is not still an addict and exhibiting that behavior.  I will help you and that is the point.

by on Dec. 11, 2012 at 10:19 AM

LIke others, I think you should seek out therapy or support groups.  I am no doc but his behavior sounds more like bipolar disorder than depression (I am bipolar).  I thiunk that maybe a stay in a hospital to stabilize him plus get him supports once he gets out would really help him.

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 3:00 AM
This could be my story. When i met my dh he had been a meth user for years. Then when i was 16 i got pregnant, and he stopped using. That was 20 years ago, but he still has severe mood extremes, and can go days with out talking to me. His mother was also abusive and neglectful. His father abandonded him when he was young. I myself am bipolar and bpd, so when he gets like this its hard on everybody. Oh, he also won't see a therapist. All i can say is try to be as supportive as You can be. And, if he doesn't want to talk fine just let him be.
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