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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Why pick on me?

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:27 AM
  • 8 Replies

Okay my oldest neice dropped out of high school about 3 months before we was going to graduate because she felt it was too  hard because the teachers were mean. Well she tested several times for her GED and passed most of the exams except the Math portion of it. Well she went back about three times to re-test the Math part and this last time she failed again. So, she is now on facebook saying how much she sucks and how much she is a failure and yada yada yada. So, I commented today and asked her what was wrong and if there was anything I could do to help And if she is upset because she didn't pass her test (*note* I did not bring up it was a GED test...just that it was a test..it could of been a blood test or a vision test...or her ACT). Now, everyone else that asked her if she was okay she responded nicely. When I commented she snaped at me and said "Why don't you stop bothering me I don't need any help". First I don't bother her at all. I comment every now and again on her facebook. Or send her a card for her birthday and christmas. I feel that since now she is an adult and wants to spend time with me, she will call me and do so. The only time she came to see me in the last year is to pick up a scarf I made her and she didn't even stay to chat for a bit. She just took the scarf and left.

I am at the point to tell her what  the hell her problem is. I don't know if it's because we are closer in age (I'm 32 and she is 23.) because my sister is 10 years older than me.

I don't get it why she needs to disrepect me when I love her and just want to help.

Last year she was serious with a guy who was older and after a few months of them together I sent him a friend request (after everyone else in the immediate family added him as a friend) she wrote me a long letter about how I need to ask her permission to do these things even after everyone else including her other Aunt who is the same age as me had him as a friend and she didn't get yelled at. Is it just me?

So, should I just message her and tell her that I was just trying to help and that she needs to give me respect before she earns it. Or  should I just cut her off all together.

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:27 AM
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Replies (1-8):
reindeer-c
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 3:15 AM

Wow, it sounds like you were trying to be supportive of her. I think she is being rude.

lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 7:03 AM

 it sounds like she might be jealous of you. i would talk to her before cutting her off and let her know how you feel. if that doesnt work i would stop responding to her on facebook. if she wants to get in touch with you after that then just leave it up to her. but don tolerate any of her bs. stand up for yourself when you need to. if she becomes toxic you may have to cut her out of your life.

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:18 AM

Talk to her in person or on the phone, FB is not the greatest way to communicate.  Tell her you love her and care about her and just want what's best for her.

As for the test, she probably feels embarrassed and defeated. I thunk I would feel the same way.  Give her time on that.

Lunatic6997
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:32 AM

I don't think anyone should be "cut off" without knowing why or given a chance to explain! I would call her and ask her if she has a problem with you and bring up your concerns wo being confrontational. 

strngenough
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:20 PM
Sounds like she wants you to leave her alone, so leave her alone.
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gonecrazi
by Silver Member on Dec. 12, 2012 at 1:50 PM

 I'd want to know what I did to make her so ugly to me. Maybe then you can fix whatever needs it. 

PinkButterfly66
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 2:00 PM

Could she possibly have dyscalculia?  It is the numbers version of dyslexia.  The fact that she's taken it so many times and failed has been a real blow to her self esteem and she probably feels ashamed and lashing out at you was simply out of anger with herself.  Please reach out to her again and tell her that you only have her best interests at heart and would like to help her in any way that she needs.  If she does have dyscalculia, she can get tested for it for free thru her public school system.  Her mom just needs to call and set it up.

anotherandree
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 6:06 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this.  I liked your first suggestion of talking to her about respecting you and expressing your intentions to be supportive.  Cutting someone off cold turkey is difficult for everyone involved, so I would at least give it one more chance to talk things through.

Quoting Lunatic6997:

I don't think anyone should be "cut off" without knowing why or given a chance to explain! I would call her and ask her if she has a problem with you and bring up your concerns wo being confrontational. 


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