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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Its hard seeing my seven y/o cry, and nothing I can do about it.

Posted by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:20 PM
  • 14 Replies

My seven year old has had a traumatic past. It started almost two years ago (wow, has it really been that long ago?) I kicked my sons father out (second relationship) for being sexual with other women for the third time in our relationship. A month later DD started acting out sexually with her sister (and also with some aggression) and I got her to and CPS interview, which led to me getting her into therapy where she admitted to everything my sons father did to her. Well we went through this whole process with court, lawyers, etc... The day after we had the preliminary hearing, she had a therapist appointment. First we had to clear the water about how what happened to her isn't the same thing as what she's caught me and him doing. Then she popped up and said "Well my dad did it to me once." Both the therapist and I were in shock. Wound up having a case over that too. Got a protection from abuse order on him, and haven't heard from him in almost a year, which next month his pfa is comming up due.

Well, today I went to get DD from the bus, and one of the other girls on the bus explained that DD had been crying because she missed her dad. Well we were walking back to the house and she had explained that she saw one of her friends' dad and her friend together and made her miss her dad, and then another friend that was on the bus saw her dad and the girl ran to hug him and bonded, DD started just bawling again....

I just feel so conflicted on what to do. DD doesn't have any male role models, my family has been distant, not just with me, but with eachother. The pfa is comming up next month, but I dont know whats going on with the case. All I know is that its been handed over to the county attourney and I haven't heard anything from them for several months now. I've tried calling, and they said our case was on his desk, but I get no calls back from the attourney. I'll try calling them again tomorrow I guess.....

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:22 PM
1 mom liked this
Any organizations like big bro big sis that could help ? Or guy friends ?
rune777
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:38 PM
2 moms liked this

((HUG)) hang in their sweety if you have a friend or even a friends husband that you trust they may be able to step in and play "uncle" to her to at lest help her fell better maybe...stay strong four you and her... 

ashleighmama
by Ashleigh on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:40 PM
I agree with the above reply. Whan my now 13 yr old son was younger, unfortunately my husband, his dad, wasn't very involved with our son, so even though my husband wasn't real happy about it, I got my son a "biig brother", and my son loved it. I just knew he needed a positive male role model in his life. I know your child is a girl, and I think they only pair them up with the same sex, but it's worth looking into. Also, do you go to church? Maybe there's someone there? I'm not sure, but it really doesn't sound like it would be in her best iterest to have him back inn her life, just my personal opinion. Do you have a brother, or another male relative that could maybe help out in that area?
Ashleigh
Serenitymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:50 PM

I do have her inrolled with big brothers, big sisters program. I've been waiting for them to match her though and haven't heard from them yet. And no, I dont have any guy friends. Between school, homework, and three kids I dont have time to go out and meet anyone. Plus I just moved to this place not to long ago to get away from the house that all these horrible things had happend. Hoping it would help her pain.

Quoting Anonymous:

Any organizations like big bro big sis that could help ? Or guy friends ?


Serenitymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:55 PM

I tried getting my brother to be involved, but when she started making alligations with her dad, he decided to not be so involved fearing she'd say something about him. Although she never has. Plus my trust issues dont help any. I'm not very good at making friends either. I had also just moved to this city, I dont know anyone here.... I'm trying to be involved more with things but school, homework and three kids have been keeping me busy and financially tight.

Quoting rune777:

((HUG)) hang in their sweety if you have a friend or even a friends husband that you trust they may be able to step in and play "uncle" to her to at lest help her fell better maybe...stay strong four you and her... 


Serenitymom
by Bronze Member on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:59 PM

I have had her in church, but I cant let her go on her own, and I dont think bringing my three year old who cant sit still to church would be a good idea. I do have her signed up for big brothers big sisters, I'm just waiting to hear from them. I tried getting my brother involved but with the alligations, he decided to withdraw from being around her to much. I just moved to this city and I dont know anyone, I moved here to get away from the place all the bad stuff had happend, hoping it would help heal DD, and to also go to school and get a college degree.

Quoting ashleighmama:

I agree with the above reply. Whan my now 13 yr old son was younger, unfortunately my husband, his dad, wasn't very involved with our son, so even though my husband wasn't real happy about it, I got my son a "biig brother", and my son loved it. I just knew he needed a positive male role model in his life. I know your child is a girl, and I think they only pair them up with the same sex, but it's worth looking into. Also, do you go to church? Maybe there's someone there? I'm not sure, but it really doesn't sound like it would be in her best iterest to have him back inn her life, just my personal opinion. Do you have a brother, or another male relative that could maybe help out in that area?


lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 4:14 AM

that is so sad and so hard to deal with.im sure in her mind she does miss her dad even though he done that horrid thing to her. i would try to find a friend who might be able to be a role model for her. in the meantime just offer her love and understanding and hold her tight.

Serenity7
by Silver Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 10:36 AM

 ((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Jan. 11, 2013 at 12:22 PM

That is so awful what happened to her.  After everything its probably that she doesnt miss the man her dad is but having a father figure. Please do not let this guy back into her life.

I was raped by a stranger when I was young.  Please keep her in therapy and positive activities where she feels good about herself and develops a strong sense of personal identity and self-esteem.  (((Hugs))))

Kaya529
by on Jan. 11, 2013 at 12:29 PM
Are you seeing a therapist or getting any type of help?
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