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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Going to explode

Posted by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:03 PM
  • 16 Replies

I literally feel like I am going to explode. Heart is pounding, my hands are shaking and everything in me wants to just destroy the home and throw everything against the wall. I can't take this. This isn't fair. Why am I dished out such crap when I don't have the capabilities to manage it?! I hate being a mom. I never should have become a mom. It is going to kill me. My 5 year old NEVER stays dry through the night and I am SICK and TIRED of waking up and having the kids bedroom smell like an effing toilet. She's in pull ups, the 19 month old in diapers and then this third one is just around the corner. I feel like I like in a crap pile! I just want to leave. Pack up my bags, grab the keys and get the hell out of here. I wish there was military school for 5 year olds. She is 5 going on 16. Her back talk, her attitude and her downright stupidity are more than I can handle. Why does her bio dad have to be such a a-hole and just leave her with me? He gets a damn free pass with this step parent adoption and I am left with all the crap and the behavior problems she inherited from him and his brother. If I would have just broken up with him instead of feeling bad for him those years ago I would not be a mom now. I wouldn't have these problems. I finished college.... for what? I'm stuck at home everyday? It's a freaking mom vortex that I got sucked into when I didn't fight back. When I didn't fight him off years ago. There is so much I wish I could have done differently. I messed up my life and now all I can do is wait until the day I die.

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by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Serenity7
by Silver Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 12:49 PM

 ((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))

leahbeah143
by Leah on Jan. 17, 2013 at 1:34 PM

 hugs! is there a reason why she's still wetting the bed?

allthatjazz251
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:18 PM

I don't know. There is a lack of brain to bladder communication or something. She just doesn't wake up and I can't be waking her up every hour to have her sit on the toilet and hope that she hasn't wet herself yet. I'm so sick of it. She's 5 1/2, why can't she function like one???


Quoting leahbeah143:

 hugs! is there a reason why she's still wetting the bed?



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leahbeah143
by Leah on Jan. 17, 2013 at 2:43 PM

 will she wake up if you set an alarm for her?

Quoting allthatjazz251:

I don't know. There is a lack of brain to bladder communication or something. She just doesn't wake up and I can't be waking her up every hour to have her sit on the toilet and hope that she hasn't wet herself yet. I'm so sick of it. She's 5 1/2, why can't she function like one???

 

Quoting leahbeah143:

 hugs! is there a reason why she's still wetting the bed?

 

 

 

lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Jan. 17, 2013 at 3:30 PM

 if you are feeling that bad about being a mom have you thought about putting your kids up for adoption? i dont mean any disrespect by that but if you cant handle it and some people cant there are other options.

proudmomalexis
by Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 8:37 AM
Im sorry you are going thru bad times.I think the best thing you can do for yourself and your family is to seek counseling. If you arent happy. Its not fair to you or the children to live this way. Seek the advice of a doctor for your child about the bedwetting. be proactive to get help. you are so worth it.
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matreshka
by Ruby Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 9:47 AM

Please look into seeing a therapist to heal all the bad thoughts you are having.  You may be also able to get help from the pedi about the bedwetting, it could be a medical condition.

allthatjazz251
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:57 AM

I would rather find a solution/cure/help to make the family work than tossing the kids. I couldn't do it, and DH would BEVER EVER have it.


Quoting lyrick24:

 if you are feeling that bad about being a mom have you thought about putting your kids up for adoption? i dont mean any disrespect by that but if you cant handle it and some people cant there are other options.



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allthatjazz251
by on Jan. 18, 2013 at 11:58 AM


I could, but it's not like there is a specific time to wake her before she wets herself. It's so hit or miss. She and DS share a room and I would not want to wake him. (he's 19 months)

Quoting leahbeah143:

 will she wake up if you set an alarm for her?

Quoting allthatjazz251:

I don't know. There is a lack of brain to bladder communication or something. She just doesn't wake up and I can't be waking her up every hour to have her sit on the toilet and hope that she hasn't wet herself yet. I'm so sick of it. She's 5 1/2, why can't she function like one???


Quoting leahbeah143:

 hugs! is there a reason why she's still wetting the bed?



 



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angierose7679
by Bronze Member on Jan. 18, 2013 at 12:53 PM
Big hugs!!! I feel you!!!! My DD was the same way. She was past kindergarten before she would stop havin accidents. Very frustrating!! But I also had problems when I was a kid and still do cause I have a second urethra or whatever it's called on my left kidney than runs to my bladder so I have lots of Limey and urinary tract infections. My DD has the same thing. You may have to take her to her dr to see if maybe there is something goin on with her bladder or kidneys. Good Luck Hun!!
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