I felt as if I were being possessed
I had a horrible episode the other night which made me think that I might need to go back to meds.
im a single mom to an 18 month boy who is very active.i spent his first 14 months as a SAHM and then I went back to work and he went to daycare.before getting pregnant I was on antidepressants but I haven't taken them after the baby.
i try to keep it all together: motherhood, work, a clean home, etc etc but the other night I was pissed and I had a nervous breakdown.
im pissed at myself forgot being able to get bac into my pre pregnancy body and for not having time to work out. So that Thursday, I was tired as I had to take m sn to the dr after work as according t the daycare provider, he seemed overly tired and had a low fever. He has been sick since dec 20 and most of m time has been used to take him to er, urgent care, dr, etc. so one more time on Thursday, we went to the dr.
Thur is my weight watchers weigh in day and I was supposed t go after work instead of going t the dr.
I managed to go wi my son after the dr. And for the theirs week, there was no weight loss but a mild gain. My weight had gone from 164.4 to 164.8.im not trying to get skinny but I ll love t be to 130.
Instead of coming home for dinner, we ate at a restaurant and my son was not in the mood to eat and I ate so quickly that I probably overrate.
then at home my son was not in the mood to sleep and I needed a freaking break.my day starts at 6 am and I don't be more than 30 m break at work and then I was running here and there with my son. He just wanted to play instead of going to bed.
thats when a one point, I felt as if I was possessed and I started screaming: get away from me! Get the fuck out of here.go to bed don't follow me and I was crying and crying.i just wanted to be alone. I love my son but I really wanted to be lane and cry. I even had crazy thoughts like putting my son in foster care for a short period.
It was. Crazy and all because of m anger a m ody.i hate my body. I hate that my sons father used me for sex and then he is not there for us. I hate that looking the way I look, people may fee sorry for the single fat mom instead of being the sexy and fit woman I was