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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Have u ever felt like..... not special or jst not wanted?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

well thats how i felt these past week.. i live with my BD we are not together, he sleeps downstairs and the other night i woke up to make our youngest a bottle while i was down stairs i heard him talking on the phone it was 6 am.. well after 4 yrs of being with each other i knw how his voice changes when he is talking to a girl or his guy friends so i right away knew it was a girl and of course i got upset cuz thats how we started our relationship talking late nights on the phone.. while i asked him who he was talking to and he said one of his best friends(a guy) and the next morning i asked again and told him not to lie and  than he told me a girl but that it wasnt like the way i thought that they are jst friends and nothing more but im not dumb... well anyways all we do is fight lately and all i do is cry like all the time!!! i cant sleep when he is at work until he gets home and is safe.. like i knw we are over but i cant help how i feel about him im still in love with him.. and ive tried talking to other guys to get over him and at the end or durning the conversaion i end up thinking about him and jst dnt talk to the other guy again... idk what to do he says he doesnt want to be in a relationship and that i make things hard cuz i live here(i have no where else to live with our kids) any advice for me to not feel like im not good enough, like im not pretty and all these other thoughts out my head :/

Posted by Anonymous on Jan. 21, 2013 at 12:45 AM
Replies (11-20):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 21, 2013 at 1:52 PM


Thank You :)

Quoting Oceansong32:

Keep your chin up sweetheart! I know how feeling "not good enough" feels.  It's really hard to not get down on yourself and beat yourself up.  You have to remember and remind yourself and who you are and that you are beautiful and that you ARE good enough!  I know it's hard but better things will come your way. Don't give up!



KVnC
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 2:01 PM
Oh well just keep trying i know its hard i been homeless and no where to go. Sorry the resources ain't good where u at..
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Suzanne2013
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:41 PM
1 mom liked this

You are an amazingly strong women to take care of your child first and put up with everything else that you have to. As mom's we do what we have to do in order to take care of our babies no matter the impact it has on ourselves. I've been in that position because I let my husband at the time move back in even though we were seperated because I didn't want my kids dad living out of his car. For the sake of not fighting in front of the kids, we treated the apartment like a hotel. It was a 2 bedroom place, so he was given a room and I shared the master bedroom with my 2 girls. He had kitchen hours, he had a shelf in the fridge, he was responsible for his own set of all kitchen stuff, he had to keep his bathroom stuff in his room. He wasn't allowed to bring anyone over, any personal calls had to take place outside of the house or in his room where he could not be overheard. I made it a real point to elimate his presence as much possible except where it came to the girls and when he was spending time with them, it was in the common areas of the apartment and I went out or locked myself in my room for the designated time he was spending with them. It helped to not have to see his every move, because before that, I really thought we could work it out but I was mistaken, he had no intention of working anything out except his next one night stand. It takes time to heal. I'm still healing. We've been seperated for 4 years and just recently finalized our divorce. It still hurts to talk to him for "business" matters. It makes me furious to hear my kids talk about the time they spend with him. I can't tell you it gets easier, because I haven't experienced that yet. I can tell you, you are a strong woman to still be here, to still be caring for your child, to still be enduring everything that you are. It's ok to cry, it's ok to yell in to your pillow, it's ok to tell him not to lie to you, not to insult your intelligence, not to rub his life in your face while you are raising your precious child. It's ok to not be ok with all of this. But when it comes to you feeling not special or unwanted, you ARE special for enduring what you do, and you ARE wanted, you are NEEDED because you are the person who will teach your child heart, soul, tolerance, forgiveness, right from wrong, love and self reliance.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:42 PM
Yea I've had that feeling. My roommate before he moved out used to say things that made me feel wanted and attractive. Df not so much :(
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:42 AM
1 mom liked this


Thank You So Much For This It Really Helped Me I Appreciate You Telling Me All Of This

Quoting Suzanne2013:

You are an amazingly strong women to take care of your child first and put up with everything else that you have to. As mom's we do what we have to do in order to take care of our babies no matter the impact it has on ourselves. I've been in that position because I let my husband at the time move back in even though we were seperated because I didn't want my kids dad living out of his car. For the sake of not fighting in front of the kids, we treated the apartment like a hotel. It was a 2 bedroom place, so he was given a room and I shared the master bedroom with my 2 girls. He had kitchen hours, he had a shelf in the fridge, he was responsible for his own set of all kitchen stuff, he had to keep his bathroom stuff in his room. He wasn't allowed to bring anyone over, any personal calls had to take place outside of the house or in his room where he could not be overheard. I made it a real point to elimate his presence as much possible except where it came to the girls and when he was spending time with them, it was in the common areas of the apartment and I went out or locked myself in my room for the designated time he was spending with them. It helped to not have to see his every move, because before that, I really thought we could work it out but I was mistaken, he had no intention of working anything out except his next one night stand. It takes time to heal. I'm still healing. We've been seperated for 4 years and just recently finalized our divorce. It still hurts to talk to him for "business" matters. It makes me furious to hear my kids talk about the time they spend with him. I can't tell you it gets easier, because I haven't experienced that yet. I can tell you, you are a strong woman to still be here, to still be caring for your child, to still be enduring everything that you are. It's ok to cry, it's ok to yell in to your pillow, it's ok to tell him not to lie to you, not to insult your intelligence, not to rub his life in your face while you are raising your precious child. It's ok to not be ok with all of this. But when it comes to you feeling not special or unwanted, you ARE special for enduring what you do, and you ARE wanted, you are NEEDED because you are the person who will teach your child heart, soul, tolerance, forgiveness, right from wrong, love and self reliance.



Suzanne2013
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:54 AM
1 mom liked this

We all need to feel loved and appreciated. Physically, emotionally or virtually. That's why we are all here right, to support our fellow moms. Some can give lots, some can give a little, but we can all spare a little support, a kind word or a virtual hug. sending virtual hugs your way! Hang in there.

nai_ryoku
by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 7:17 AM

 My husband and I have what you would call a "marriage" but he still acts like a 14 yr old and plays his video games, would rather stick w/ a job that doesn't have reliable hours and his boss is one of his friends and he'll be over at his friend's house late at night as he delivers newspapers so he sleeps during the day and is up all night. I know he's there cuz I can hear his buddy in the background. Anyways, I feel like he's still here for the kids. My family lives 11 hrs away and he knows that's where I'd go if we would divorce and wouldn't want to be apart from his kids and I couldn't do it on my own w/o my family due to my mood disorders. It makes me feel sad cuz I really crave a romantic relationship but instead I feel like I'm living w/ my teenage roomate. If he and I were ever apart, I would be devastated seeing him move on. I think it's just imbedded in women that we can move on but they can't! Lol Have you called your local Dept. of Human Services to see what all assistance they could offer you? I know here besides food stamps and the income based housing, if you have little to no income, they offer cash assistance. It's not much but if you're desperate to get on your own, it's something.

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 9:31 AM

Get on the waiting lists for housing you may also be able to get emergency housing.  Search online for "community development" programs that may help you too.  You need to get out of this situation so you can start feeling better about yourself.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Jan. 22, 2013 at 10:44 AM

the emergency housing here is jst sending us to the shelter 


Quoting matreshka:

Get on the waiting lists for housing you may also be able to get emergency housing.  Search online for "community development" programs that may help you too.  You need to get out of this situation so you can start feeling better about yourself.



mamalena137
by Member on Jan. 22, 2013 at 12:27 PM

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I just broke up with my bd in July. At first we stayed living together 'cause neither of us could really afford to live on our own. It just made it harder and I knew he was already starting to see someone else. The biggest heartbreak for me was when he told me he still loved me but wasn't in love with me. Once he moved out (with his girlfriend) things got better. My son and I are living with my parents right now until I can get some money saved up to get an apartment. I know it's hard but things will get better, especially if you can get away from him. Being with someone who's not in a relationship with you but doesn't want to be with you is a bit like picking at a scab, the wound is there and can't heal right. Best wishes and I hope things get better.

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