We need the money

[Anonymous]

Sometimes I think about killing myself.  Not because I am overly depressed, although that is where the idea originally came from.  No, it is because we could really use the money from the life insurance policy.  Yes, I have researched it and because we have had the policy for more than 2 years, it would cover my suicide.  It's funny because I am not what you would call "suicidal" because I do not feel helpless, hopeless, or angry.  Stuck is the word I would use.  Stuck in that I am not sure how to find my purpose in this world.  I have many descriptors in WHO I am (wife, mother, compassionate, dog lover, avid reader, and such) but I am finding it more and more difficult to come up with WHAT am I.

Without me, my husband could pay ALL our bills and even be able to have a nice down payment for a house.  I am not saying that my plan is flawless because the kids would not understand.  Right now, our financial situation is limiting them, but that would free them to do the things they want to (like play soccer, buy yearbooks, or go to birthday parties).  I know that my husband, kids, and even the dog would miss me and certainly not understand why I would do such a thing.

Will I do it?  Probably not.  Is it something that I think about?  Yes.  Actually the idea gives me peace because it is like I always have a plan B.  No matter what.

[KRIZZ25]

can u just cancel ur policy and get the money back and use that ..

[Anonymous - Original Poster]

No, It's not that type of policy.  We pay a set amount each month and it is worth X amount no matter what.  It's not worth what we pay.

Quoting KRIZZ25:

can u just cancel ur policy and get the money back and use that ..

[Anonymous]

I sometimes feel the same way. Mine is mostly triggered by my depression but ocxationally I do think well they would be able to survive with out me on just my life insurance. But I can't bear to leave my children with no mother.

[lyrick24]

 please dont do anything to yourself. it would affect your kids so bad. do you think they would be happy going to birthday parties and playing soccer if they didnt have you. you are worth more than that.try to sit down and make a budget and stick to it. do you work? you could babysit from home and still take care of your kids. i hope you find a viable solution.

[deltathree]

Your kids would never recover hun.....they need YOU!  Hugs.

[Serenity7]

 (((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

[tammeee3]

your kids and husband would rather have you then a nice house and nice things..you are worth more then those things

[gonecrazi]

 I agree, your kids and dh would rather have you than money or things...

[diaperstodating]

  

[dizzy77702]

I heard you can't collect on a life insurance policy if you take your own life. They typically only pay out if you die from natural causes or die in a car accident or someone else shoots you.