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and today i cried (UPDATE)

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:57 AM
  • 20 Replies

this has been the morning from hell... my dd had one of her meltdown and kept slamming her door and walls, well in the midst of all the shaking of the walls, the shelf that held all my glass nic nacs came crashing down, glass everywhere, child screaming, i couldnt take it... i fall to the floor and start sobbing like a new born baby.. I dont know what to do.. i cant help her, i cant help me... im heartbroken.

 

Her doctor put her back on her risperdol! thank the lord and the angels!!! hopefully it will kick in quickly!!!

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:57 AM
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Replies (1-10):
gonecrazi
by Silver Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:02 AM

 How old is she? Is she old enough to be punished for causing the shelf to fall. Sorry you are having such a bad day.

icn_mom
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:04 AM

 


Quoting gonecrazi:

 How old is she? Is she old enough to be punished for causing the shelf to fall. Sorry you are having such a bad day.

she is almost six... she was made to stay in her room while i cleaned.. as soon as i balled my eyes out she kept hugging me saying how sorry she is and that is "was just upset".. im trying so hard to teach her better ways, im just so lost..

 

lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:15 AM
2 moms liked this

 im so sorry momma. maybe you can take a little time today to be by yourself.

icn_mom
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:25 AM

 


Quoting lyrick24:

 im so sorry momma. maybe you can take a little time today to be by yourself.


 oh i intend on it my mother in law is on her way to pick up my daughter...

Tracys2
by Gold Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:42 AM

I know how hard it is, how you don't feel you have control. But these things DO happen. To every parent. Certainly here, it would be a big negative, but it's not that unusual. And it will be OK.

You cleaned it up. She learned a leson. Yes, you cried but you are human and she is old enough to know that her actions can hurt people. What you could do now to make a positive out of it- look up some strategies for kids to control their tempers and tell her "listen, today you learned about why we shouldn't slam doors. But I know how had it is when you're angry. Here are better ways to deal. Let's practice them". Also, you if she has an allowance, she can pay off some of the cost, or she can do chores to pay it off. She should learn (depending on if you think this is an issue for her) that her hasty angry actions hold repurcussions for months, not just getting in trouble one day.

Sorry your stuff broke. Hugs!


icn_mom
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 10:50 AM

 


Quoting Tracys2:

I know how hard it is, how you don't feel you have control. But these things DO happen. To every parent. Certainly here, it would be a big negative, but it's not that unusual. And it will be OK.

You cleaned it up. She learned a leson. Yes, you cried but you are human and she is old enough to know that her actions can hurt people. What you could do now to make a positive out of it- look up some strategies for kids to control their tempers and tell her "listen, today you learned about why we shouldn't slam doors. But I know how had it is when you're angry. Here are better ways to deal. Let's practice them". Also, you if she has an allowance, she can pay off some of the cost, or she can do chores to pay it off. She should learn (depending on if you think this is an issue for her) that her hasty angry actions hold repurcussions for months, not just getting in trouble one day.

Sorry your stuff broke. Hugs!

 

She does not get an allowance, and she would be paying it off for a few years (it was antiques).. I didnt cry because the stuff broke, i think i cried because the crumbling glass almost reflected perfectly how my heart felt at that very moment. perfectly completly broken. I know how she is feeling, I used to have the same breaking issue as a child.. so angry so hostile feeling so bottled up and dying to get out.. I cry because I know im hurting, shes hurting, and I just dont know how to get out of it.. I dont know how to make it better! She is high funtioning autistic and I know that these impulsive agressive things come with it.. I took the time to explain to her and make her look at what happens when we let our anger get the best of us. I explained to her that when she gets this way, this is what the outcome is.. I have held strong through almost losing her at birth, to brain surgery, to feeding tubes, to the dx of autism, and finally, i finally just broke.. I havent allowed myself time to cry, and today i couldnt help it.. it just came out.. it was my way of a release i suppose as breaking things is hers at the moment.. I have done alot of research and still have some to do on how to help her in these moments..

 

ashleighmama
by Ashleigh on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:50 PM

 Well, after reading your quote/response to the last reply, I'm kind of looking at this as a negative but ALSO a positive thing. You have gone through so much where your little girl is concerned since day 1, not her fault or yours, it just is what it is.  And you say you haven't allowed yourself to cry. I think you NEEDED to cry, maybe even more than you're aware of. Crying is a cleansing type of release, and you've been under so much stress for 6 years. The emotions have to come out eventually, somehow. It's better that you fell onto the floor and sobbed like a baby instead of , say, lashing out, getting violent, etc. Maybe this will be the opening that you've needed all this time to let yourself feel your feelings and let them out. Personally, I always cry whether I'm sad, mad, frustrated, really pisssed off, all my emotions seem to come out in my tears. But I usually have no problem crying when need be. I'm sorry your daughter is acting out like she is, and I'm sorry your stuff got broken, but I'm really hoping that this showed your mind that you HAVE to let your feelings out, and that you're also capable of it. Hugs to you and your little girl!

icn_mom
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:01 PM

 


Quoting ashleighmama:

 Well, after reading your quote/response to the last reply, I'm kind of looking at this as a negative but ALSO a positive thing. You have gone through so much where your little girl is concerned since day 1, not her fault or yours, it just is what it is.  And you say you haven't allowed yourself to cry. I think you NEEDED to cry, maybe even more than you're aware of. Crying is a cleansing type of release, and you've been under so much stress for 6 years. The emotions have to come out eventually, somehow. It's better that you fell onto the floor and sobbed like a baby instead of , say, lashing out, getting violent, etc. Maybe this will be the opening that you've needed all this time to let yourself feel your feelings and let them out. Personally, I always cry whether I'm sad, mad, frustrated, really pisssed off, all my emotions seem to come out in my tears. But I usually have no problem crying when need be. I'm sorry your daughter is acting out like she is, and I'm sorry your stuff got broken, but I'm really hoping that this showed your mind that you HAVE to let your feelings out, and that you're also capable of it. Hugs to you and your little girl!

I have never been a cryer, and have always even had trouble admiting that I cry.. I figure everyone sees strength and crying would only weaken me.but today I let it out, and now im tired, wiped... and taking a me mental health day, and crying does make me feel so much better though, i dont feel so weighed down...

 

ashleighmama
by Ashleigh on Jan. 30, 2013 at 1:21 PM
2 moms liked this
Thats exactly what I was thinking, and you NEEDED this mama. I know some people dont like to show weakness, but we ALL have our weak moments, its human nature. Every time I go to therapy, I cry the entire time, but you know what? I look forward to going every time. When I leave her office Im totally exhausted, but in an hour, I feel freer, lighter, and most importantly I feel CLEANSED. Go rest and feel better. HUGS!

Quoting icn_mom:

 




Quoting ashleighmama:


 Well, after reading your quote/response to the last reply, I'm kind of looking at this as a negative but ALSO a positive thing. You have gone through so much where your little girl is concerned since day 1, not her fault or yours, it just is what it is.  And you say you haven't allowed yourself to cry. I think you NEEDED to cry, maybe even more than you're aware of. Crying is a cleansing type of release, and you've been under so much stress for 6 years. The emotions have to come out eventually, somehow. It's better that you fell onto the floor and sobbed like a baby instead of , say, lashing out, getting violent, etc. Maybe this will be the opening that you've needed all this time to let yourself feel your feelings and let them out. Personally, I always cry whether I'm sad, mad, frustrated, really pisssed off, all my emotions seem to come out in my tears. But I usually have no problem crying when need be. I'm sorry your daughter is acting out like she is, and I'm sorry your stuff got broken, but I'm really hoping that this showed your mind that you HAVE to let your feelings out, and that you're also capable of it. Hugs to you and your little girl!


I have never been a cryer, and have always even had trouble admiting that I cry.. I figure everyone sees strength and crying would only weaken me.but today I let it out, and now im tired, wiped... and taking a me mental health day, and crying does make me feel so much better though, i dont feel so weighed down...


 

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nai_ryoku
by on Jan. 31, 2013 at 4:36 PM
1 mom liked this

I've been through similar aggravating situations. My son used to scream for about an hour after being sent to his room and now my daughter is easily upset and just today, she got angry and was bawling and I told her she's got to stop the crying as it was over something senseless and something I couldn't help and she kept saying "I can't! I just can't!" and it breaks my heart as I know what it feels like to be so upset and crying and no matter how hard I try, I can't stop. It's so hard seeing our kids in pain. Cudos to you for all you've stuck through!

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