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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Hello....

Posted by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:24 PM
  • 8 Replies

Hello,

My name is Rose. I've lived in Virginia since I was 3. I grew up in the Fredericksburg area. However, I'm brand new to the King George area. I am a mother of 2 boys (one 8 and one 14 months) and a step-mother to a girl (8).

I have a hard time meeting new people face-to-face. On the internet I sometimes have a hard time of how to put things into words when first starting out. However, once I get started words come easier. When meeting someone for the first time I am a little anxious and things. Once I get to know someone I feel better...it's just getting over the initial meeting and things.

I am bipolar. I have PTSD and general anxiety disorder. Even with my medications I tend to get into moments of feeling sad about how things have turned out in my life. I cry a lot...over the silliest things at times. I can't even read to my 14 month old without crying when I get to a sad part...even if it's a book I've already read. I feel that there is something wrong with me...but I don't know what.

I finally got an appointment with a general practitioner to talk to them about my medications until I can get into therapy in March and to talk about the pain in my lower back. More often then not I feel old and broken. I'm only 28, but I feel like I'm in my 60's or 70's.

*sighs* I hate feeling like I do. :(

~Rose~

My children are the light of my life. Without them I would have no real purpose for I would find it hard to find the brightness in this dark world.

"Opportunity knocks when you least expect it and if you keep your eyes open and watch for the signs the world can be yours! However, if you keep your eyes closed and ignore the knocking you will lose the best things that life has to offer." -Me

by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:24 PM
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Replies (1-8):
lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 12:56 PM

 rose, i can so relate to you. first of all i am from va too and i am bipolar. i cry at the drop of a hat and most times i feel like i am in my 70's and i am actually 47. i am going through some med changes right now and hope that gets me to functioning right before long. im glad you made an appt with a therapist and are getting your back looked at. i have back problems too. i hope things work out for you. please dont be shy about coming in here and venting. your post was written very well.

Rose.Lynn
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:08 PM

The doc thinks that it's stress on my spine that is causing the back pain. She says that even though I'm 28 I could have arthritis in my lower back as well. She has ordered an X-Ray and blood work (the blood work is for my medications until I can get into a psychiatrist in March) to make sure there is nothing else going on...like a compressed disk or things like that.

Quoting lyrick24:

 rose, i can so relate to you. first of all i am from va too and i am bipolar. i cry at the drop of a hat and most times i feel like i am in my 70's and i am actually 47. i am going through some med changes right now and hope that gets me to functioning right before long. im glad you made an appt with a therapist and are getting your back looked at. i have back problems too. i hope things work out for you. please dont be shy about coming in here and venting. your post was written very well.


~Rose~

My children are the light of my life. Without them I would have no real purpose for I would find it hard to find the brightness in this dark world.

"Opportunity knocks when you least expect it and if you keep your eyes open and watch for the signs the world can be yours! However, if you keep your eyes closed and ignore the knocking you will lose the best things that life has to offer." -Me

snookyfritz
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 3:25 PM

While not bipolar, I can relate to the feeling old part.  I hope you are able to get the help you deserve

Rose.Lynn
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 5:08 PM

I, thankfully, have all of the appointments and things set up that I need. It's now a "hurry up and wait" situation. Unfortunately, I really need a therapist and things and I won't get that until March 20th because RACSB (Rappahanock Area Central Service Board...the only people who will take Medicaid) won't let me talk to their therapist until I see their psychiatrist. :( When I went in and did my intake with them last month they told me that if I ran out of my medications I could go to their emergency care office and they could commit me while they get me "stabilized" or whatever. Thankfully I have meds, so I don't have to do that, however, I relied heavily on therapy in Indiana. It helped me to keep things straight. To get things off my chest. I don't know who I can talk to until March 20th. My s/o is out because he doesn't understand...CAN'T understand. (He's actually told me that he can't understand why I think what I do and why I struggle with things like I do.) I can't really talk to my friends because they are either dealing with serious issues of their own or they don't respond when I text them. Family is out because not one of them will understand and I don't want them thinking I'm crazy or look at me like I am. (They already think I'm a black sheep because they are Jehovah's Witnesses and I'm Wiccan.) The ONE person in this entire world that I could talk to is currently unavailable as she is in jail for reasons I don't know of yet. And my current issue I can't put in a letter.

I just don't know. :(

Tracys2
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 7:09 PM

Welcome!

You sound a lot like me. I am terrified of people in real life, my anxiety is heavily weighted towards social stuff. I seldom actually get to the "true friendship" feeling, stupidly I only have once recently and with the wrong person (not a bad person, but a busy one).

Also big on crying over sad parts of books, and almost anything else.

Sorry you are going through this, but I know you are not alone! Hope you can get help.

Rose.Lynn
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:13 PM

Thank you, Tracy. I too have the issue with social stuff. Online I'm great. Offline, however, not so much. Being around too many people and I have the feeling like people are staring at me or talking about me or laughing at me. I know deep down they aren't. However, I still can't shake the feeling that they are...it makes it hard to be in crowds. More often then not, my fiance has to go with me if I have to leave the house.

dizzy77702
by Silver Member on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:24 PM
1 mom liked this
I also have bipolar disorder, anxiety and PTSD so I totally get it. It's not easy to live on the roller coaster and sometimes my cart goes off the track totally.
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Rose.Lynn
by on Feb. 1, 2013 at 11:27 PM

Exactly!!

Quoting dizzy77702:

I also have bipolar disorder, anxiety and PTSD so I totally get it. It's not easy to live on the roller coaster and sometimes my cart goes off the track totally.


~Rose~

My children are the light of my life. Without them I would have no real purpose for I would find it hard to find the brightness in this dark world.

"Opportunity knocks when you least expect it and if you keep your eyes open and watch for the signs the world can be yours! However, if you keep your eyes closed and ignore the knocking you will lose the best things that life has to offer." -Me

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