I'm so lost......I dont know if I can do this

[JRSMOM0621]

 I am 23 and my friend of 20 years died. I grew up with her and her brother. Her brother is basically a ghost. Her mother and step father are the same. Me? I feel this hole in me, and I am trying to keep this together but I just...I want to cry, to scream, to beat a punching bag. I am going to her viewing on Wednesday and funeral Thursday...I know I'm going to burst out crying at one.

[ashleighmama]

Im so sorry youre goimg through this. Please understand that its totally normal and socially acceptable for you to cry there, and yes, even in front of everyone. Im kinda thinking her family is still in shock and totally numb, it probably hasnt truly sunk in for them yet..

[JRSMOM0621]

 I am sure it hasnt. It hasnt for me. I keep hoping I will wake up and it will all be a sick joke

Quoting ashleighmama:

Im so sorry youre goimg through this. Please understand that its totally normal and socially acceptable for you to cry there, and yes, even in front of everyone. Im kinda thinking her family is still in shock and totally numb, it probably hasnt truly sunk in for them yet..

 

[leahbeah143]

 I'm so sorry :-(

[lyrick24]

 i am so sorry. its ok if you cry. take you some tissure and dont be afraid to express your emotions. hope everything goes ok.

[snookyfritz]

I'm sorry for your loss.  Don't be self conscious about your feelings for your friend.  It's perfectly alright to cry