I want to run away (Kind of long) (edit)
I feel miserable.
In February 2009 I got married
In December 2009 We had our beautiful son.
In February 2011 my husband and I separated
In February 2012 our divorce was finalized.
In June 2012 we ended up back together after our son got really sick.
In November 2012 we moved from Colorado to the middle of no where Wyoming for my husband's job.
My husband and I moved away from everyone and everything I knew. We moved away from the people who put a strain on our relationship in the beginning. His parents and my parents both caused issues in the relationship.
Well, FIL's job took a crap, so DH got him a job out here. So now, my MIL and FIL will be moving out here with DHs niece and nephew. Thats 4 people. They will be staying in a 5th wheel trailer. Which means they will have to use my kitchen, my washer and dryer and my bathroom. We're in a 2 bedroom trailer. There's 3 of us and 2 dogs... we don't have the room for 4 more people to be "living" here. The only thing they will do is sleep in the trailer. I will never have privacy. 4 more people showering here, 4 more people's laundry here... And just when I thought we were free.
MIL and FIL are the ones who caused most of the issues between DH and I. And I feel like I am going to lose him again. I am scared that I am going to lose everything I have worked so hard for. Yesterday, DH and I got into a HUGE fight over it. It made me feel like crap. I don't want to lose my husband again, but I feel like a horrible wife.
I understand that FIL's job is bad and they are barely making it, but I don't want them in my house all the time. I have things I want to do and need to do and I don't want to have to deal with them constantly. I lived with them for 3 years. I am finally free and in my own house.
I am scared he is going to leave us all the time to do shit for his parents. I feel bad because I don't want to support 4 more people with the water, soap, food and what ever else they need/use. We make a decent amount, but we have our bills.
I just don't want to lose my relationship with my husband. Again. All of this is making me so depressed and upset. I feel like he's throwing everything away... I seriously want to run away and never look back.
*edit* So I talked to my husband today about me getting on some antidepressants. He is 100% against it. His reason being "Everyone who takes them becomes suicidal" His sister OD'd on antidepressants in 2009. I tried to explain to him how I am not his sister and I know what to look for. I have been on meds before. I know what to watch for, I know what to report. But he is completely against it. I was hoping he would support this decision and work through my crap with me. I was abused as a child, so I have a lot of stuff going on in my head... I was really hoping he would be supportive of this. I am finally making a stand for my mental health, and he doesn't seem to care.