I've been so stressed out lately. My job is driving me crazy. Either there is not enough work to give me a decent paycheck or they have me working until late every night. It seems like it is one extreme or another. And I have ahd complaints lately on some of the houses I've cleaned. I haven't had complaints in months and now I've gotten 3 in one week. That always puts me on edge, worrying that another complaint will come in. Our manager left a few weeks ago and now I feel like I have nobody to go to with my concerns about the hours and the money and the complaints. The other office people aren't communicating very well, and sometimes they don't even know how to handle the problems that may come up. I'm on the verge of just walking out, and I know I shouldn't do that. I need the job. I need the money but I get so upset and worked up sometimes. I can feel the anger and frustration rising inside of me and I just can't get myself to calm down. I'm either about to cry all the time or feel like yelling at everyone, and sometimes I do yell and then I worry nonstop that I am going to get fired.
Then today my mom called and said her rent check bounced and she needs help. I can barely afford to take care of me and my dd. I can't afford to help her just bc she can't manage her money. I have tried to help her a million times, tried to sit down and help her make a budget, told her to cut out what isn't necessary, to not pay old bills right now if she can't afford it, and I have told her to pay her rent with a money order so she can make sure the money is there, but she won't follow any of my suggestions and so she is constantly in the hole. She wanted to me to leave work early so I could go take her to a title loan place and she could get a title loan. I don't think that is the best answer. If she can't afford the bills she has now, hth will she be able to pay for a title loan? I told her to call United Way and see if anyone could give her some help. And it annoys me that she expects me to just leave work early and come save her. I can't do that.
I tried to go to a dr tonight and get some more Prozac. I had been taking it last year and it usually helped keep me calm but we were at the drs office for almost 2 hours and I still hadn't seen the dr yet. My dd and I were starving and finally I couldn't take it any longer and we walked out. Then when we got to the car I thought it had unlocked my dd's door and it didn't. She was standing in the rain, and kept pulling on the door and I got all annoyed and yelled at her and then when she got in the car she started crying, and I felt awful. I just don't know how to deal with all this stress anymore.