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My teen and her depresssion

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:45 AM
  • 17 Replies

Hello,i'm Paula,AS of the end of Oct 2012,

Our world has really been spinning with our 16 year old being depressed.Would love to talk to others about how they handle things,

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:45 AM
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by Group Admin on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:50 AM

  welcome paula! tell us more about how things are going so maybe we can help you. have you taken her to a therapist or a dr to get on meds or are you trying to help her with natural meds and such. just be there for her and offer her comfort and hugs. try not to lash at her if she lashes out at you. shes going through a tough time right now. i would really recomment conseling if shes not already doing it.

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:06 AM

Thanks so much i just need someone that understands,

We are doing it all it started at the end of oct,

She was in a mental hospital  She was thinking about suicide,Was cutting herself,smoking,and was in a lesbian relationship that ended badly,

Put her on wellburtins,rispdol,something for her panic attacks,and sleep,were  allready seeing a coulser,Now we have a phyicist,Case worker,and now he wants to put her on lexpro,she seems better,At times but last night was bad,We had to put her in a smaller school she could't handle regular high school

But she broke up with her boyfriend about three weeks ago,

But now wants him back and he says not now,But somedays are so bad she is so sad it makes me want to cry, and other time i just want to say get over it,,I don't say it and i feel bad for even thinking it,She has 5 siblings that are all older and they are not being much help at all to say the least,my husband and i are doing all we know to do,

So here we are,i ask for Pray for her,As you can see there is alot going on,her dad is disable and now begining to have problems rembering,

Thanks for the place to share and would love to hear from anyone,

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:29 PM

Beautiful girl.  But pain is inside. I have felt like her.  Have her see a counselor or therapist that listens to her and suppports her. They can give her tips on coping skills.

Journaling her thoughts and letting them out.  Tell her she is not alone. others have pain too and have gotten through it.

" thought are like passing clouds , they will pass by. let them pass by, dont fight them. it will pass."

I know its hard , it was killling me but I got through with support of people who loved me and my counselor.

if you need anything , let me know.

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:40 PM

Thank you so much we have a great safe plan for in place,,The doctors say it just a slow progress,But in time, this really scares me,What if it gets so bad that she can't stand it,and does something we feel like we are walking on eggshells all the time,depression runs in our family deep, i wonder why it is like this,

I have to get me a safe plan also use some of these tools, between my husbands illness and my hers,and the other children,I'm way to stressed,I know this sounds like its all about me Don't mean to sound selfish

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:07 PM

Welcome!  I have no experience with my kids having depression because they are only 8 and 2.  But I was dx'd bipolar at 14.  I was put on meds at adult strenghts and in therapy.  the meds while they worked at the time were too much for my phsycial body to handle and so I went off of that and therapy at 18.

Has anyone ever talked to you about your daughter maybe having Borderline Personality disorder. Just from some of what you mentioned in this thread, maybe look it up and see if it describes her.  There are great non med therapies for BPD including DBT and CBT that teach copng skills and emotion regulation.

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:51 PM

Well, I was a depressed teenager, it was bloody awful living with a family who didn't get me treated. I would have been more successful in highschool if I were treated with meds and therapy. Please get her help. Just be nice, supportive, don't talk down to her or make her feel weak. Do the opposite of what my mom did. 

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:53 PM

And she absolutely can't get over it. Just like someone just can't get over diabetes or cancer. Depression is a chronic illness. 

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:37 PM

Hi Paula...

I have been where you are.  Not only with my child (16 yo son had tried to kill himself 3 times over a girl), but with myself.   My daughter is now going through some depression. She lives at home, she is almost 25 but was in a relationship, moved out and in 2009 she had gotten pregnant and didn't know it.  At 21 weeks into the pregnancy she went into labor, she developed pre-clampsia and we almost lost Ambyr, we did lose little Catherine.  Catherine saved Ambyr's life though because what I didn't know was that the relationship was abusive and Ambyr going through all of that made her strong enough to say I'm done, you cannot hurt me anymore.  BUT.... she now goes through bouts of depression.  Guilt about the baby, the fact that she can't stay in a relationship with anyone very long now because of trust issues on her part.  She was told she probably will never be able to have another child and being 25 she is thinking about that and the fact that after 30 she probably shouldn't even consider it.  It just goes round and round.

I myself see a psychologist.  My mom died and left me with a dad to take care of that has always disliked me.  Well, I took care of him.  I helped him through his major heart surgery, left him live with us, etc...  Then I realized a few things, I was asking questions and he was refusing to answer ( about my childhood) and I decided I just couldn't do it anymore.  He has 3 other living kids from his first marriage and I have a biological younger sister, he is in the military so she isn't around to help.  But he sucked everything out of me and I just woke up one day and decided that I didn't want to even get through the day anymore.  I started therapy, I am still in therapy and year a few months later and I am doing fine.  I had to learn acceptance when it comes to him, and so much more I won't even get into.

It's not easy... I don't know if there is any one right answer for anyone as to how to deal with it, get through it.  For me, it was getting back into church and prayer.  Surrounding myself with positvie people. 

I know they had my son on drugs like he was a product tester.  It was awful.   I am happy to say he is married and has 3 little girls now.  

Faith is important for me, therapy is also a staple for me right now. 

God Bless you, I know how hard things are for you right now.  My husbands best friend has twin daughters that are in the their early 20's and both have an eating disorder.  Tom comes home from work and talks with me about it and he feels so helpless to his friend.  He's like there isn't anything I can say to make him feel better, to give him hope that it will get better.  However, I feel that Tom just being there for Don to talk too is probably the best thing for Don right now. 

Your daughter is so beautiful...  You have other children so you know how to parent, parenting a depressed child is very different but just continue to let her know that you love her, that she is needed and that even though she can't see through the fog right now, there is a rainbow out there waiting for her to take a ride on, at the end of that rainbow is happiness and love.  Remind her of the things she has too look forward too.  

Many Blessings to you....BIG HUGS

by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 3:43 PM

 Hello and ds (16) suffers from depression too. He is on Welbutrin. 

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 4:16 PM
Hi Paula, welcome! Im Ashleigh, Im 41, I was diagnosed at 16 yrs. old with major depression and anxiety, and more recently with PTSD and Borderline Personality Disorder. So I was once in your daughters shoes so to speak. Cont. My phones gonna cut me off.
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