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I don't have anywhere to turn to. Please bare with me 2/17 update

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 7:35 PM
  • 18 Replies
I'm not sure if I have posted here or not about my grandma's surgery on her eye. My grandma was diagnosed with a detached retina in her right eye back in November. She was also having macular degeneration wet shots in her left eye. My grandma and I are extremely close. I have been with her at her dr apts because I am her ears since she doesn't hear well. Well she was told she was to have this surgery to fix her right eye. My grandma was very adamant about NOT wanting the surgery. She just wanted to live her life. My uncle who is power of attorney and the nursing home forced my grandma to have the surgery. So the surgery was scheduled for January 8th, 2013. A few days before my birthday. I was scared something was going to happen. She came out great and the dr said her eye looked perfect and the surgery would heal just fine as long as the nursing home follows the positioning requirements(10 mins up every 2hrs and when laying down has to be right side face into pillow)Fast forward a few days. I take my grandma back to the care center and get her situated. As soon as I wheel her in the building the nurses are already bitching and complaining because the hospital couldn't keep her. I was sitting in the hall and listening. These nurses are so stupid . They talk shit about me and my family and my grandma within earshot of me. I take notes and report them. The lady I reported to did nothing. The next week they started again.
Fast forward a few weeks its now my grandma's birthday. She turned 88. Her positioning requirements are now 30 mins every 2hrs alternating sides face into pillow. If up head must be faced down at all times.she started feeling pressure on her eyes. She said its been there awhile and yea her eye pressures have been running high(20+). Normal is 15ish for her.
Now my aunt calls to tell me my uncle took her to an appointment today and that there is blood around the eye and the surgery didn't take and now they have to remove her eye.
This is where I'm freaking. I'm getting married in 37 freaking days! My mind is screaming at me to race up to the nursing home and beat the shit out of the nurses because its their freaking fault she is in this situation. They never obeyed the positioning requirements.

Sorry, I need a break explaining. I'm crying so hard I can't see the screen.


*update: sitting here with grandma, her speech is slury and getting hard to understand. She was awake for a few mins but has been sleeping since 3:45. I'm just sitting here holding her hands watching her sleep. She has been very confused. She did get out a thought that her pizza sucked last night. We had a good laugh at that. She asked if we had money for a sandwich from the gas station(her fave).
She got me emotional today. I was telling her about my job like I normally do. I explained to her that I wasn't happy there and I was going to look for a 2nd job. Hopefully in a daycare so I can use my degree. She told me not to. I asked why and she told me that I am going to have my hands full shortly. I asked her what she meant and she told me my time is coming soon. I know what she is referring to but it just shocked me and made me tear up. Df and I have been trying for 3 years to get pregnant. Well I'm pretty sure my grandma just told me im either pregnant or shortly will be!
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 7:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Tracys2
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:16 PM

I'm so sorry for you and your grandma- that is so wrong. I'm sorry she's not in a nice place, but she has you to care about her, and she knows that. Hugs!

lexismom90
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:47 PM
I am so sorry to hear that! Your poor grandma didn't even want the surgery in the first place. Hopefully she will be able to adjust alright. And congrats on the wedding.
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lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 7:47 AM
1 mom liked this

 they probably didnt do what they are supposed to do. i have worked in a nursing home before and heard all the bitching when it comes to special requirements. i have to say this though. i prided myself on providing the best care possible to all my residents. but you just dont find that sometimes. is it the best place for her to be or should she be put somewhere else. the nursing home i worked at the second time was great. no sores, no bitching and everyone cared. it was a small facility. i hope everything works out with our grandmas eye and you come to peace with where she is staying. talk to the don and let them know what is going on. if you have to be demanding. stay on top of things.

Serenity7
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:10 PM

 ((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))

bakermom5944
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 3:15 PM

So very sorry for everyting you and your grandma are going through.  That is just plain WRONG!!  Thank fully she has you!!  I would go after that nursing home, they are shameful!!!  Hope all goes well.  Keep us posted.  Hand in there, and congrats on your wedding!  Hugs!!

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 3:32 PM

This.  And Lyrick I totally respect your quality patient care.  My grandma got sent to a bad place and my parents had to get her out.  I worked with nurses in my former profession and there are ones who go above and beyond and those who should not be in the profession.

Quoting lyrick24:

 they probably didnt do what they are supposed to do. i have worked in a nursing home before and heard all the bitching when it comes to special requirements. i have to say this though. i prided myself on providing the best care possible to all my residents. but you just dont find that sometimes. is it the best place for her to be or should she be put somewhere else. the nursing home i worked at the second time was great. no sores, no bitching and everyone cared. it was a small facility. i hope everything works out with our grandmas eye and you come to peace with where she is staying. talk to the don and let them know what is going on. if you have to be demanding. stay on top of things.


matreshka
by Ruby Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 3:33 PM

I am so sorry about your grandma. Can be she be transferred to another place, or readmitted to hospital to get better?  Maybe after your wedding and everything talk to a lawyer about power of attorney stuff.

Kayla2013
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 3:57 PM
Thank you. I have no clue why they forced her into it. At first the family was happy the surgery would bring her eye sight back. I started to 2nd guess the surgery and started researching it. By the 3rd website I was already 90% against it and was trying hard to talk them out of it. They didn't listen to me or my mom.

Quoting flowrsgalore:

Oh your poor grandma.  She didn't even want surgery in the first place &here she is going to have her eye removed.  What she has gone through sounds horrendous.  Why at 88 are they doing these things to her?  Your uncle  should not be allowing these things if they are really not her wish. I'm sorry you are having to deal with these issues, I can see why you are beyond frustrated. Hopefully your visits bring your grandma some comfort.

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Kayla2013
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 3:57 PM
Thank you. Yes I've been by her side every chance I get.

Quoting Tracys2:

I'm so sorry for you and your grandma- that is so wrong. I'm sorry she's not in a nice place, but she has you to care about her, and she knows that. Hugs!

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Kayla2013
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 3:58 PM
Thank you. It's been hard.

Quoting lexismom90:

I am so sorry to hear that! Your poor grandma didn't even want the surgery in the first place. Hopefully she will be able to adjust alright. And congrats on the wedding.
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