Depress
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have you thought about getting him into big brothers, big sisters. or having a mentor for him that is a man. is there someone in your family that can give him some time? i hope everything works out for you.
This, My DH actually wants to be a big brother since we aren't going to have anymore kids.
Quoting lyrick24:have you thought about getting him into big brothers, big sisters. or having a mentor for him that is a man. is there someone in your family that can give him some time? i hope everything works out for you.
I know what you mean, but the good news is that he has a loving mom who IS there for him. :)
You're there for him, so that makes a big difference. Honestly it is better for a child to have one stable figure in his life than have a father who doesn't really care about him and disappears for long periods of time or is unkind to him.
The other thing is - funny thing about boys without a father, but they often will choose for themselves, a 'father figure', as it's called. Someone who provides that model of what it means to grow up and be a man. A sports coach, a teacher, an older kid in the neighborhood. Even if nothing like those are available, boys will find a hero - a person out of history, a heroic person in the news. You'll be there to be sure it's a good father figure that he chooses.
In other words, with most kids, boys tend to get what they need, no matter whether there is a dad in their house or not. And studies have shown, kids grow up far, far better with a single parent than most friends/relatives (or movies!) would have you believe.
We have some myths in our culture and often when we get in a given situation, we automatically believe those myths, often without even thinking about it consciously. We just fall into that pattern. 'Oh no! My son will really suffer because there isn't a man in the house!'
The idea of the single parent child being 'damaged' by that really is a myth. One good parent is far better than two when one of them is really not a good parent. This is a time when one and one don't really make two.
To be perfectly honest, I see a great many single moms who do a VERY good job of being a single parent. They have happy, healthy kids who grow up to be happy, healthy adults. The key really is for mom to be happy, healthy and positive herself. If mom is troubled or sad or dragged down, it's important to deal with that very practically and promptly(there's also that myth of the unhappy single mother....), and go on with life.
how do I learn to be patient?
