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I am new and lost

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 9:31 PM
  • 4 Replies

Hi my name is Jennifer, I have three daughters 24,18,16 years of age.the 18 and 16 live with me my 18 year old has been labeled mentally retarded and my 16 year old is depressed.Actually my 16 year year old is the reasoon I am lost it started a year and half ago she was having problems so she had to go into the mental hospital when she came out she was told she had AD/HD and was given meds.Then in Dec 2012 she was having problems again so I quit my job after trying to get a day shift I was working 12pm to 8pm at night and she was in school 7am to 2:30pm. I am looking for a day job ,but now my problem is things got worse in Jan 2013 for my 16 year it became so bad she had to be put back in the Mental hospital,she was released last week but was told she still has her AD/HD, but now major depression and boarderline personality trait and she had been put in the hospital because she threatened to her hurself and others.She has a counselor,a psychiatrist,a caseworker with the state and she is on a few meds.

I love my daughters and I will always be there to help them,but see I am the only one to support them I have always worked,I am trying to find a job that I can do day shift while she is in school and no weekends because no one knows how she will do if I work weekends or times that she would be home with herself and sister by themselves and I can't get anyone to want to look after my 16 year they are afraid too.I love my daughter I am just feeling out of sorts I guess being told to go get help from welfare so I can take care of my daughter,and I will do anything to help her I just haven't been on welfare for alot of years so now I 'm feeling down because I can not be the person I was,and then I cry because I feel like I am a bad person for feeling this way and that my children come first but not being able to work I can't take care of them like paying rent ,their clothes things I have always done and to teach my girls to do and be somebody.My 24 year old owns her own store and has a new car a great life ,I was able to teach her about life and my 18 year old is trying to have a life learning to drive a car have a job and go to school but my 16 year what am I going to be able to teach her I know her mental health is important and I need to be there for her but I also need to teach her things so she could have a good life too I am sorry maybe I am not making any sense I guess I just want to be me feel good about myself by working and providing to give what my kids need and be home for my daughter who needs help I just feel lost inside about what kind of mom am I for feeling this way

by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 9:31 PM
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by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 11:54 PM
Hi, Im Ashleigh. Im 41 yrs old. I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety at 16, and more recently with borderline personality disorder. I also have a 14 yr old son with ADHD. I give you major credit for taking care of your girls on your own, and for doing what you think is right for your 16 yr old by quitting your job to be home with her. I know that cant be easy. Youre sacrificing A LOT. You and your daughter are obviously going through tough times. Depression sucks! I was lucky and had a very supportive mom, like you, and my mom still means the world to me. I adore her. Im sorry I dont really have any advice except just keep being a mom and a friend (to a certain point, of course) and be a shoulder for her to cry on. BUT, somehow you still need to take care of YOU. Hugs!
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by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 8:28 AM

I was dx'd in my teen years with bipolar. there was very little help then. Now there are respites that she could stay at if her symtoms are getting bad and there are also coping skills groups she can attend that are just for teens.

by Group Admin on Feb. 17, 2013 at 11:43 AM

 being 16 is a hard age much less having a mental illness on top of it. i hope you can find a dayshift job so she can go to school while you are working. if you need pa then get it until you can get back on your feet. you sound like a wonderful mother who is doing the best they can for all of your children. i am so glad you are getting help.

by Silver Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 12:50 PM


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