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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

How can my daughter be depressed but always so happy?

Posted by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 10:33 AM
  • 14 Replies

I don't get it... my daughter has been home from college for two months now.  She was upset that she had to leave her friends at college and move back home.  But she's been working now, reconnecting with her local friends from high school that are either going to school nearby or not going to school.  We play games together, go shopping, watch movies, etc.  She generally seems happy - we fight occassionally but I've been staying out of her space - trying to give her more freedom and independence like she had when living in her own apt.  She will be turning 21 in April.

But then I looked on her Tumblr postings and found this:  (Feb 12) 

Welp, its official….

I have moderate to severe depression. Since the first step is to admit it, here it is. I haven’t told my parents, I don’t know how. This is the only social media site that my parents aren’t on, so I feel safe confessing here. Sometimes the best help can come from strangers.

Posted on Tuesday, February 12 2013. Tagged with: self harm  depression  i need help

 I'm guessing this is self-diagnosed, possibly from a website.  I can't tell if she's just being moody or if this is something I should address somehow.  Any advice welcome!

by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 10:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
rhodaj
by rho on Feb. 26, 2013 at 11:26 AM

I would sit down and talk to her about it. I wouldn't say anything about reading that,but maybe bring up how is she feeling and if she is depressed about anything or needs to talk about something. But don't ignore it.  We didn't realize my daughter was depressed or had anything wrong with her and she didn't live at home she loved with her boyfriend and kids. I will never forget the day I got the phone call that she had overdosed. She was fine but I still keep a watch on my childrens behaviors to this day

BambiEyes26
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 11:53 AM

I would discuss/touch base with her to see how she is doing. Don't mention the online stuff, it may aggrivate her even more. Some people can hide things like depression very well and appear to be happy/functioning individuals.

crayon42
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:40 PM

FYI all, tumblr is a public post - anyone can read it - it's not like I went snooping.  I just looked at the posts that she put out to the world.  She just didn't know I have my own tumblr account. 

I'm all for talking about it - just not sure how to start the conversation.  We're so good together and having fun but then I find this stuff.  Do you think she went to a doctor to be diagnosed ("It's official") or is she just being dramatic?

deltathree
by Gold Member on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:44 PM
1 mom liked this

Lots of depressed ppl put on a good front. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:48 PM

I am always depressed yet I am happy. Ask her how she is adjusting to life at home, like is she truly happy. If she is truly depressed just be there for her. Let her know your there. Maybe seek counseling. She is an adult even if she is living at home.

rhodaj
by rho on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I would just try to bring it up in a a conversation of some kind. Like how are you feeling since you left school. Or You seem to be happy being around your old friends again do you miss your old ones. Since this is a public site. You might want to even bring up that you also have an account on there and seen her post and you are worried about her. Tell her you wasn't trying to be in her bussiness but it is out of love and concern that you are bringing this up.

Quoting crayon42:

FYI all, tumblr is a public post - anyone can read it - it's not like I went snooping.  I just looked at the posts that she put out to the world.  She just didn't know I have my own tumblr account. 

I'm all for talking about it - just not sure how to start the conversation.  We're so good together and having fun but then I find this stuff.  Do you think she went to a doctor to be diagnosed ("It's official") or is she just being dramatic?


paknari
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:53 PM
She specifically stated that she wasn't ready to talk to you about it yet. If you confront her it will just prove the lack of privacy. She's 21 not 12. You can be there for her without checking up on her all the time. That will just make her pull away more. And it is easy to fake it if you try hard enough. Jus be there for her and show her that you are there for her without pushing.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 26, 2013 at 12:56 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this. My mom had to be told by my social worker from the school about my depression, she didn't think were there any problems and I didn't feel like I could talk to her about it. If you approach her about it knowing that she's not ready to talk to you, then it could make things worse. As far as looking happy, she might actually be happy in those moments, being depressed doesn't mean you are incapable of happy moments. or she could be faking it, most people that know me don't realize I have GAD and I've been dealing with depression on and off for 14 years. 

Quoting paknari:

She specifically stated that she wasn't ready to talk to you about it yet. If you confront her it will just prove the lack of privacy. She's 21 not 12. You can be there for her without checking up on her all the time. That will just make her pull away more. And it is easy to fake it if you try hard enough. Jus be there for her and show her that you are there for her without pushing.


crayon42
by on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:08 PM

Thanks all for the advice.  She does know that I have a tumblr, I'm guessing she didn't know a few weeks ago but I have told her before that I had one.  I think I'll go with your advice rhodaj, and just ask her how she's adjusting to home life.  That seems the safest move - we actually do talk pretty well so I think that could open a good dialog.

rhodaj
by rho on Feb. 26, 2013 at 2:53 PM

I'm glad you are going to talk to her. I know I still watch my daughter. I will be invading her space when she has her baby considering she ppd after her last one. We are also close and we do talk about everything and she knows that she can talk to me now if she is having a problem. 

Quoting crayon42:

Thanks all for the advice.  She does know that I have a tumblr, I'm guessing she didn't know a few weeks ago but I have told her before that I had one.  I think I'll go with your advice rhodaj, and just ask her how she's adjusting to home life.  That seems the safest move - we actually do talk pretty well so I think that could open a good dialog.


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