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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center
I have posted about my grandma and her health. About how close the wedding is. Well life just crumbled last night. With all the stress and my hours being cut I was having a bad day. Steven, my df, called me on his way home and informing me that he was picking a new girl at work up on Friday cause she doesn't have a ride. I acted before I thought about it. I snapped and freaked out. We have had a few issues with him having racy and sexy texts on his phone a few months ago but we worked it out. Apparently this couldn't be worked out. I know I have trust issues, anxiety, depression, insecurities but I am working on them. I have the fear of being cheated on because of my ex. Well he turned his phone off on the way home, knowin it makes me freak more and the weather was horrible(7inches of snow). He texted me after I turned my phone off and told me we are over. That he talked to his dad and was coming to get clothes and went to his dad's. if I tried to stop him I'd be arrested. I got him to finally reason with me that we are still engaged, 100% faithful and entrusted to each other and will not see anyone else. I also got him to agree to do counseling. I found a great lady and set up an appointment for Friday at 10:30am. So he will be coming back tomorrow to stay and go to the meeting with me. It's 25 days til the wedding. He claims I control him. If I do I'm oblivious to it and have no ideas. Please keep us in your prayers and that things work out for the best and we can still get married. I will fight for him and I know he will fight for me.

*update* he came home Wednesday night. Things were awkward but he ended up giving me a hug and a kiss on the lips. Yesterday he got sick and I went with him to the dr. The dr deemed it was stress induced and to stay home yesterday. It was a great day yesterday. We had a mini snowball fight, we laughed and joked around. I rented a Xbox game he has been wanting for awhile. We took a nap together and made dinner together. It was as if nothing happened. he even asked me if I thought counseling was a good idea. I told him lets just see how it goes and then go from there. The lady was nice. She is religious based counseling. I will admit my faith is lacking and I hope to become more religious. We are Christian. We believe that a relationship and a marriage are great things and all great things take time, effort, and communication. Today was rough but it was a first step. This was the first major fight we have had. The counselor asked if we have to get married in 22 days. We looked at each other and back at her and at the same time said yes, it's what we feel is right. So thank you for keeping us in your prayers. They are very appreciated and welcomed.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:42 PM
Replies (11-20):
Kayla2013
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 12:00 AM
Yes, he got home tonight. I made dinner and had rearranged our bedroom to surprise him. I actually got a kiss on the lips and a hug. It's a breakthrough from last night. I'm actually excited to work with our counselor. She also works with the couple one on one to sort out issues we have not in the relationship and then meets with us for the relationship counseling.

Quoting diamondgirl748:

I'm glad you are seeking counseling, you are taking the first step and he is going with you. you will be in my prayer

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Tameez
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 12:57 AM

It sounds like you know each other pretty well then and that's a very good thing.  You both take care...  Many Blessings :)

Quoting Kayla2013:

Steven and I have been together for 4 years and 3 months. During this time we have lost 4 babies, had a huge blow out with my family, huge blow out with his family. He dropped out of hs and then went back a year later and is the first to graduate with a hs diploma. He found a job and recently celebrated his 1year mark. We have been engaged for 2 years 4 months. We have hit most major road bumps a couple can hit but we have made it thru. We are complete opposites but we do attract. I bring things to the relationship he never experienced and he brings things I've never known of. Together we have a great start to a new family. I know it's stress that built up. I apologized over and over knowing I have issues I need help with and he has issues he needs help with. Thank you fr your advice. I will consider everything you said.

Quoting Tameez:

Counseling is great.  My daughter was in a very bad relationship and because of the abuse (physical/mental/verbal...) she just can't trust anyone.  She has dated a few guys, no good guys and they didnt last.  However she lost a good one.  She broke up with him once because of her trust issues, he came back to her.  She broke up with him a 2nd time because he lost his job and she didn't feel he was working hard enough at finding another (a past issue with the past bf) and she broke up with him and he didn't come back.   She wanted me to be on her side but I told her the truth..... She wanted him to be the bad guy because he is dating someone else...WRONG!  

She needs counseling for this...I can only do so much for her.  She also lost a baby to the a-hole guy, she got preclampsia and delivered Catherine at 21 weeks gestation so she has that as well and honestly has never dealt with all of that completely. 

Is this a big wedding?  I worry about you marrying him right now with this just happening.  I completely understand the stress and how you freaked out.  I get that...  I am just worried for you in the long run. 

You both are definitely in my prayers. I am glad you are willing to fight for him, just make sure you are fighting for him for the right reasons and not just because you are just lonely (and I'm not saying that you are...just an example)...  I only say this because I watch my 24 yo daughter going through this every day.

Many Blessings to you...  I am so happy you are going to counseling, that is a HUGE big step.  

Best of Luck and Love .......((BIG HUGS))


Tameez
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 12:58 AM

It will be such a beautiful day for your both.  

Quoting Kayla2013:

The wedding is 150 people, roughly $5000. Cupcakes, catering fresh flowers. Informal but he is in a tux and I am in a simple wedding dress.

Quoting Tameez:

Counseling is great.  My daughter was in a very bad relationship and because of the abuse (physical/mental/verbal...) she just can't trust anyone.  She has dated a few guys, no good guys and they didnt last.  However she lost a good one.  She broke up with him once because of her trust issues, he came back to her.  She broke up with him a 2nd time because he lost his job and she didn't feel he was working hard enough at finding another (a past issue with the past bf) and she broke up with him and he didn't come back.   She wanted me to be on her side but I told her the truth..... She wanted him to be the bad guy because he is dating someone else...WRONG!  

She needs counseling for this...I can only do so much for her.  She also lost a baby to the a-hole guy, she got preclampsia and delivered Catherine at 21 weeks gestation so she has that as well and honestly has never dealt with all of that completely. 

Is this a big wedding?  I worry about you marrying him right now with this just happening.  I completely understand the stress and how you freaked out.  I get that...  I am just worried for you in the long run. 

You both are definitely in my prayers. I am glad you are willing to fight for him, just make sure you are fighting for him for the right reasons and not just because you are just lonely (and I'm not saying that you are...just an example)...  I only say this because I watch my 24 yo daughter going through this every day.

Many Blessings to you...  I am so happy you are going to counseling, that is a HUGE big step.  

Best of Luck and Love .......((BIG HUGS))


nai_ryoku
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 7:18 AM

 Stressful situations can do a lot of negative things to people. I have trust issues cuz as long as I can remember, my dad was a serial cheater but it took a long time before my mom cut him loose as she always felt that a family should stick together no matter what. About 4 yrs ago, I saw a txt on my dh's phone and it had a pic of a woman's cleavage and him saying how nice they were. He had his excuse and to this day I don't believe it so I live wondering what all he's done that I don't know of. So you're not alone in that dept! Hope things go well for you guys in counseling :)

 

Kayla2013
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 9:56 AM
Thank you. It sucks living in that fear. His dad was serial cheater on his mom. Think truck driver. And it lead to his family breaking apart. I know deep down that he wouldn't cheat because I have given him such a good life vs where he came from. I hate living with the fear my ex put in me.
Thank you, I hope counseling goes well for us too.


Quoting nai_ryoku:

 Stressful situations can do a lot of negative things to people. I have trust issues cuz as long as I can remember, my dad was a serial cheater but it took a long time before my mom cut him loose as she always felt that a family should stick together no matter what. About 4 yrs ago, I saw a txt on my dh's phone and it had a pic of a woman's cleavage and him saying how nice they were. He had his excuse and to this day I don't believe it so I live wondering what all he's done that I don't know of. So you're not alone in that dept! Hope things go well for you guys in counseling :)


 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
marisab
by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 11:54 AM

sounds like u have dysrhtmia i have that uits weather induced depressiona nd all the stres su are under is agravating it.talk to ur dr about this asap.and bigg huggs!!!

Kayla2013
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 2:17 PM
I will look into that. I hate sunny bright days but enjoy cloudy days. But I live in Iowa so it changes in a blink of an eye. Lol I have never heard of it. I know the real source of my depression and it started 8 years ago when I was a freshman in hs. It doesn't help I have 5 miscarriages. 4 with Steven and 1 with my ex.

Quoting marisab:

sounds like u have dysrhtmia i have that uits weather induced depressiona nd all the stres su are under is agravating it.talk to ur dr about this asap.and bigg huggs!!!

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
leahbeah143
by Leah on Mar. 1, 2013 at 10:34 AM

 hugs! I hope you can get everything worked out!

Momto8kidsyay
by on Mar. 6, 2013 at 4:23 PM
Go to http://marriagebuilders.com for really good advice. Most counselors aren't good at helping a couple problems.

Working with Moms who want a real home business!!!!


www.stayinhomeandlovinit.com/pamjm

leahbeah143
by Leah on Mar. 6, 2013 at 10:22 PM

 *hugs*

I'm happy to hear that things are looking up for you as well as your relationship

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