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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Seriously pissed!!

Posted by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:15 PM
  • 19 Replies
This is going to be a long vent and very jumbled around.
I had a Counseling appointment this morning at 930 which meant I had to leave no latter them 900 to get there. Well it was 830 and I had literally JUST made myself breakfast and sat down to eat when my daughter woke up. No big deal usually but she was very fussy so I went into our room to get Brian (my fiancé) to get his butt out of bed to get her so I could eat and finish getting ready. I went in the room and literally said "babe can you please get up and get Lexi I am right in the middle of eating" he said yes and did get up to get her. Problem is that's ALL he did!! He got her out of her crib told me she was leakin through her diaper and set her on the futon and I was on the couch. He went BACK to bed! It didn't take long for her to realize I was eati and she wanted my food. I had to set aside my breakfast and wait to eat until she got distracted once she was distracted I had to scarf down my food and still try to keep her out of it. I also had to get her diaper changed, cloths put on her, and her juice sippy. When I went into the kitchen she started screaming and apparently woke Brian up again because once I walked back into the living room he was just coming out of the room again. He even said "oh you got her juice" I responded with "you realize that the entire point in me getting you up to get her was so I could finish eating my breakfast while it was actually hot." he only said "yeah I know" I still had to change her and get her dressed for the day. Did he offer to help me with that NO!! Once I got her done I only had a few minutes until I had to leave and he finally took her from me and started cuddling her. Once she realized I was leavin though she came over to get me and wanted held. No big deal I held her for a minute while I got the last things I needed together. Did he get up to take her from me NO he sat on the freaking futon and waited for me to bring her to him! Ok whatever I finally left to counseling had a good appointment and was able to calm down. I decided to let go what had happened and leave it be. Until I waked in the door and he is sound asleep on the freaking futon and my daughter is on the couch messing with things on the end table she isn't suppose to have that I asked him to move days ago. I was pretty mad again but decided it was no big deal. I went pee and my daughter came to find me. I held her for a moment and realized her high chair was still colapsed so she probably didn't eat breakfast yet. Woke Brian up AGAIN to see if she ate yet. I course she hadn't so I had to get her breakfast ready as well. No big deal but she had already been awake for 2 hours and I had been gone an hour and a half. He could have done this at any time but didn't! That's not even what's really pissing me off. We HAVE to be out of our appartment by the 30th of march which isn't a big deal EXCEPT my parents are coming up THIS Saturday with my grandparents truck and trailer because they had something to get from my other grandma and they wan to pick up the first load of things anything that we don need or we can live without they will be picking up. So the last week I have been working on packing up and organizing everything BY MYSELF!! He won't help me unless my daughter is napping or down for he night saying "she will get into to much I need to keep an eye on her" blah blah blah. He won't help me freaking pack the damn appartment when she is awake but he is PERFECTLY fine with SLEEPING on the damn futon while she is awake. Normally it's not that big of a deal to me except he sleeps really sound and doesn't wake up to much and can sleep through her crying so if she started cryin for any reason he may or may not wake up to get her. I am also mad because he stayed up until about 130 watching movies KNOWING he had to be up early to help wih lexi so I could go to my appointment! Normally I don't care about that either except this is the THRID time he has done this to me THIS WEEK! I had 2 other early appointments that I had to go to earlier this week. One of the nights he stayed up unil almost 4 am knowing our daughter would be up by 830. I was already gone from the house by the time she got up and he even admired to ignoring her for around an hour before actually getting up to get her!! The other day he sayed up until 2 am. Thankfully that day Lexi slept in and had just women up about 30 minutes before I got home so he didn't have time to fall asleep on the couch. I am just so tired of this bull crap. Last pregnancy he didn't even want me cleaning the house or working to much on organizing and puttin things away because he didn't want me to over do it and end up hurting myself. His time he seems to care less what I do or how much I do! I am just sick of it!! He keeps complaining to me that his leg hurts or he is sick. So what!! This last week I lacked most of the house by myself and I was trying to get over bronchitis and a cold!! Not to mention I am almost 34 weeks pregnant so doing a lot of standing bending and moving does start to hurt me pretty bad. He doesn't seem to realize that yes he may be in pain he may be sick but so am I and he isn't tryin to carry a baby plus about 20 lbs of added weight from the pregnancy! I am so sick of this damn bull crap!! Yesterday he kept sayin I was "snappy" because I asked him to help with the living room all I asked him to do was get the toys and cloths out of my way he barely even managed to accomplish that! When I was done getting all o the trash picked up he had the nerve to say "there is that better" when you couldn't even tell we had done anything to our living room because there was still dirty dishes and cloths and toys everywhere! And he got mad at me for saying "no it's still no clean" because I was 'snappy'. Later that day I had gone to make dinner for all of us and had to take TRASH off of my counter and stove that he had left there from lunch! Seriously there is a bag in the damn trash can plus another larger bag on the floor with papers and cardboard boxes and he couldn't take 2 seconds to place it in the garbage instead of leaving it on the counters! He does that to me all the time. I can't tell you how many times he has done that recently. So I took the items out to the living room looked at him and went "really babe really" he asked what and I told him "you really have to leave garbage on the counters when there is a trash bag in the can!" he said I was being snappy again and mean. I said no I am no bu it gets kind of old cleaning up trash from my counters because he doesn't put it in the trash! I also managed to load the dishwasher, cook dinner, and clean my counters with Lexi right at my feet the entire time because she wanted me. Yet he can't even pick up dirty cloths or load the dishwasher wih her around. After dinner I decided to make brownies for us and went into the kitches again to fine 2 empty containers on my counter again! I AGAIN took them to the lion room and told him where the trash is suppose to go. I just can't believe he can't even take trash and put it in the trash!! If the trash an is full I have to be the one to take the bag out of the can because he won't and will just let trash gather everywhere else first. It takes 2-3 minutes to just pull the trash out tie it and take it to the porch so we can grab it when we go down next. That's apparently too complicated. If I forget to put a new bag in the can heaven forbid that he would so I for me. No he will just toss everything in the can itself for me to deal with latter. One time I was in the middle of cooking dinner and took the trash out, forgot to replace the bag and continued with dinner. He was standing in the kitchen next to the trash can AND he trash bags! I had emptied a can of sauce and realized my trash can didn't have a bag in it. I had to put the can on the counter and return my attention to the dinner so it wouldn't burn he didn't even bother to put a bag in the trash can and put he empy can in it despite me saying "damn no bag" once dinner was alright and I knew it wouldn't burn I had to put the ba in the can and toss the trash. I took the damn bag from right next to him!! He is 22 years old and still doesn't understand the concept of cleaning up after himself. I used to be not as anal about the house and cleaning and stuff like that but now I am because it has to stay clean so Lexi doesn't get sick or get into something icky. He still won't help me clean though. I am just worried because we are going to be livin with my parents soon and this stuff isn't going to fly wih me! My parents also can't seem to keep the house clean and it is always cluttered with papers and stuff everywhere and soon I am going to be the only one cleaning up after 4 adults, 2 kids, 4 cats, and 4 dogs. My dad will help wih the cooking and dishes at least and the trash but keeping the counters cleaned off and keeping the house de cluttered is going to be totally up to me. So I really need his help especially at m parents house! If you have made it this far thank you. That was a lot longer hen I thought it would be.
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by on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 1:55 PM

 im so sorry momma. he is taking you for granted. i would sit down and have a long talk with him and even make a list of the chores hes supposed to do. tell him when you leave your daughter with him it is his responsibility to take care of her and get her fed and def. stay awake. i would try to nip this in the bud before the other baby gets here.

lexismom90
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2013 at 2:35 PM
Thanks. We have tried doing the list of chores thing before and it still wouldn't get done. Last time we did it the dishes ended up getting moldy and nasty before he would touch them. I just don't know what to do with him anymore. I am just so tired of the bull.

Quoting lyrick24:

 im so sorry momma. he is taking you for granted. i would sit down and have a long talk with him and even make a list of the chores hes supposed to do. tell him when you leave your daughter with him it is his responsibility to take care of her and get her fed and def. stay awake. i would try to nip this in the bud before the other baby gets here.

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leahbeah143
by Leah on Mar. 1, 2013 at 10:31 AM

 *hugs*

he really needs to step it up

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 11:39 AM

Do you know what his deal is?  Like does he have depression or is he on meds that would make him so drowsy that he forgets to do all this stuff?  Not that that's an excuse, he's gotta get it together no matter what.

lexismom90
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:34 PM
He is ADHD so he tends to get distracted once he does start it or gets distracted before even starting. If he does help me with something it has to be something small that he can focus on for a little while get it done and move on. Which is fine but lately he won't even do that for me. I think part of the problem is he doesn't really want to move this time at all but it is something we have to do. He "doesn't want to become another statistic" of our home town. Basicly everyone that leaves eventually ends up moving back and he didn't want "to be one of those". But we have no other choice right now. But every time we have moved from one place to another he hasn't done much packing or cleaning. This is the first time we are livin that most of what we own is actually going to be packed into boxes.

Quoting matreshka:

Do you know what his deal is?  Like does he have depression or is he on meds that would make him so drowsy that he forgets to do all this stuff?  Not that that's an excuse, he's gotta get it together no matter what.

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deltathree
by Gold Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 12:35 PM

 


Quoting leahbeah143:

 *hugs*

he really needs to step it up


 

dizzy77702
by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:16 PM

does he work? the reason that I ask is that my husband works and when he is home he rarely helps bc he figures that if I am home during the day, then all the responsibility of the house should fall on my shoulders.  He is 35 and horrible about cleaning up after himself, so our house, no matter how much I straighten up and clean is always cluttered and disorganized.  I hope that you can nip this thing in the bud before it becomes worse or your relationship starts to fall apart,  it's not fair for one person to have to bear all the responsibility and I don't think you are asking too much of him or being unreasonable.  Do you see a therapist, bc if you do, maybe she could help the two of you work things out?

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:28 PM

Ah.  I get both parts of that.  Can you maybe introduce a calendar or schedule for him?  I don't have add/adhd but I get many of the symptoms with being bipolar and my attention span will go kaput.  Using a to do list and a clandar/organizer has helped me stay on track of things.

With moving and all his thoughts on that, I've had to move back to my hometown area and some things you can't predict, I never wanted to come back here but in the end its what worked for me and it has probably saved my life.  I don't have to associate myself with any other townies I know and its better than I thought it would be.

Quoting lexismom90:

He is ADHD so he tends to get distracted once he does start it or gets distracted before even starting. If he does help me with something it has to be something small that he can focus on for a little while get it done and move on. Which is fine but lately he won't even do that for me. I think part of the problem is he doesn't really want to move this time at all but it is something we have to do. He "doesn't want to become another statistic" of our home town. Basicly everyone that leaves eventually ends up moving back and he didn't want "to be one of those". But we have no other choice right now. But every time we have moved from one place to another he hasn't done much packing or cleaning. This is the first time we are livin that most of what we own is actually going to be packed into boxes.

Quoting matreshka:

Do you know what his deal is?  Like does he have depression or is he on meds that would make him so drowsy that he forgets to do all this stuff?  Not that that's an excuse, he's gotta get it together no matter what.


Serenity7
by Silver Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 1:30 PM

 ((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

lexismom90
by Bronze Member on Mar. 1, 2013 at 2:23 PM
We will give the calendar thin a try. We have tried doing a chore list in the past for both of us and he still wouldn't do anything. Maybe if we have it on the calander though it may help boh of us keep on task and get stuff done. Jus have 1-2 things a day o every other day to get done put it on the calander and just get it done sometime during the day. That might actually work! Especially once we are with my parents since there will be 4 adults a toddler and a baby to clean up after. I would definitely help keep me on track of what needs to be done and when so I don't try to do everything all in one day like I usually do! Thanks for the idea!! Now to go get a calander that is not my phone. Lol.

Quoting matreshka:

Ah.  I get both parts of that.  Can you maybe introduce a calendar or schedule for him?  I don't have add/adhd but I get many of the symptoms with being bipolar and my attention span will go kaput.  Using a to do list and a clandar/organizer has helped me stay on track of things.

With moving and all his thoughts on that, I've had to move back to my hometown area and some things you can't predict, I never wanted to come back here but in the end its what worked for me and it has probably saved my life.  I don't have to associate myself with any other townies I know and its better than I thought it would be.

Quoting lexismom90:

He is ADHD so he tends to get distracted once he does start it or gets distracted before even starting. If he does help me with something it has to be something small that he can focus on for a little while get it done and move on. Which is fine but lately he won't even do that for me. I think part of the problem is he doesn't really want to move this time at all but it is something we have to do. He "doesn't want to become another statistic" of our home town. Basicly everyone that leaves eventually ends up moving back and he didn't want "to be one of those". But we have no other choice right now. But every time we have moved from one place to another he hasn't done much packing or cleaning. This is the first time we are livin that most of what we own is actually going to be packed into boxes.



Quoting matreshka:

Do you know what his deal is?  Like does he have depression or is he on meds that would make him so drowsy that he forgets to do all this stuff?  Not that that's an excuse, he's gotta get it together no matter what.


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