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Still suffering after 3 years?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies
Maybe I'm not doing it right or trying hard enough or could I STILL be in denial to get the real help I need? Having PPD is like nothing I've ever experienced. I was diagnosed a year after having my first and 1 month after having my second child. I was immediately put on anti depressants because I was borderline not able to care for myself or my children. Even though I was crying all the time, I would go into fits of rage so severe I felt like my heart was exploding in my chest, pulling my hair out, not being able to breathe or think. Here, I have these 2 beautiful gifts from God whom I love more than my next breath and would die for, and I felt like I was crumbling under an enormous weight. I used to feel smart. Now, putting sentences together can feel like a distracted task, forget giving me a real problem to solve. And I hate it, I love my life, but I hate it! Does that make any sense? If you have PPD I'm sure it does. So the anti depressant I was on, as my doctor warned me, caused me to gain weight. So I stopped. Now, I'm overweight and feel like a lunatic again. But then I think to myself "It's been 3 years! Get over it, you're just a selfish insecure brat who just can't be grateful for your life!" At least that's what my husband says as well. So, my question to you, is how long did you or have you suffered? What worked? I avoided therapy because like I said, I feel partly in denial and partly like there's something seriously wrong with me that can never be fixed. Can I go back to my doctor and it still be PPD after almost 3 years?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 16, 2013 at 12:31 AM
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by Group Admin on Mar. 16, 2013 at 3:46 AM

 i dont know if its ppd or regular depression. either way you are suffering and you need to get help. make an appt with a therapist and see if they refer you to a dr. im sorry your husband is not supportive, he obviously dont understand it.

by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 9:47 AM

Have you ever seen a therapist? Maybe they can give you answers the doc can't.  I never experienced PPD, but I am bipolar and it is a lifelong disorder.  So is major depression.  I was reading an article that was talking about how childbirth is a major tunring point that can bring out bipolar disorder or major depression, a good doc would work with you on idenifiying a disorder or mental illness if you have something that is long term.

The best things to do yourself are learn ways to find yourself more comfort and work on getting through the really bad times.  Hobbies are great.  I love arts and crafts, I journal when I feel like I can't talk to anyone.

I would go back to the doc, tell them what you told us and ask the same questions.

by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 6:06 PM
If it's been three years and you are still depressed than its probably not ppd anymore but regular depression. I would talk to your doctor about different med options and if you aren't in therapy I suggest it.
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by Bronze Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 6:53 PM
I had my youngest son four years ago, I had postpartum depression then, now I have regular depression.
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by Leah on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:39 PM


probably time to go back to the doctor, maybe even look into a therapist. There is nothing wrong with needing to get help, and it makes me sad that your husband just thinks you're being selfish and insecure :-(

by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 10:39 PM

i was on meds for my depression and anxiety for 3 years and i was in denial about my memory loss. it got worse and worse, so i finally decided to go to my doctor and get a new med. so far so good, but it has not yet been a week yet and i have 5 more weeks before i have my followup. i have taken this med before, so i am hoping it works as well as the last time. as for your PPD, you can always be re-evaluated to see if anything else shows not ignore the whole situation because it is not going to go should not avoid therapy because there is where you can reveal your inner feelings that have been causing the behavior that you have been having.perhaps DBT therapy could help.then again there is CBT therapy. perhaps a mood disorder support group. they are helpful. i just presently started attending one.

by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 7:35 AM

 I would definitely seek help from a therapist or psychiatrist as it might not be just PPD. And you're not selfish for feeling this way for so many years as you can't help feeling the way you feel when depression is involved.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:15 PM
Thank you all. I think some of you may be right. I think I had some undiagnosed depression before childbirth so maybe this is meant to be a long term thing brought on stronger by having children. I'm scared sh!tless of therapy as I think social anxiety is a major problem for me but its worth a shot!
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