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How do you go through your depression alone

Posted by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:21 PM
  • 8 Replies

I am a 31 year old single woman and I have 2 daughters. I have been on and off with their dad for over 13 years. I do not have friends because of my depression and anxiety so he is really all that I have. I do have family but I am not that close to them. I visit my parents every weekend and that’s about it. I cannot talk to them about anything so I visit, say my hellos, let the kids spend time with them and then leave. I have no one in this world that I can talk with and relate to. My kid’s father has been unfaithful quite a bit in the past and I would always go back to him after we break up for a couple of months or so because I get so lonely. I have told him that if he cheats again that I am going to really be done with the relationship this time but honestly I think that I will be afraid to let him go because he is the only person in this world that I have. I sometimes feel that he senses that I need him and I don’t want to be like that. Sometimes when he is away with his friends I get a little jealous because he has never had a problem with making friends and I do. I feel weird being an adult and not having friends. I have made friends in the past but the friendships never last because either I will push them away when I get depressed or they try to get over on me in some kind of way. I don’t mind being single it’s just the lonliness that gets me. Not having other adults to talk to. I must admit that I am a bit different. I do not club or enjoy being in places where there are tons of people. Right now it feels as if everything is against me. I try to look ahead but can’t seem to think about what my future will be like. I have been counseled several times but no matter how much counseling I do I feel better for a while and then it starts getting worse again. Sometimes I feel like I may need to do counseling for the rest of my life because that is the only time that I have someone to talk to about my feelings and what I’m going through.

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:21 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Pixiemaid
by Bronze Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:45 PM
If you need to talk I'm here
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lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:52 PM

 there are some people that do do counseling for a long time.  also if you could find some support groups in your area that would be good.

Tracys2
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 8:18 PM

I'm sorry- a lot of us know what you are going through friend-wise. It seems really common with depression and anxiety. For that reason, lyrick's suggestion might be very helpful. I wonder if we are both too needy and too pushy-away. People can tell. It hurts!

Loneliness is TERRIBLE and not having friends/ a reliable support system makes it much harder. 

Hence I'm here. And so are you.

ashleighmama
by Ashleigh on Mar. 19, 2013 at 9:45 PM
Yep, I feel the same way, very lonely. Im 41, married 14 yrs with 2 boys, but Im still lonely. It really sucks. I imagine thats why Im on cafemom so much, lol, I dont like crowds or clubbing or things like that. I have a hard time talking to hubby about my depression because hes not very emotional about anything, he doesnt seem to understand it at all. We are all here for you in this group, we all seem to have a lot in common, one thing being lonliness. Hugs mama :-)
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leahbeah143
by Leah on Mar. 19, 2013 at 10:15 PM

 *hugs*

I know exactly how you feel. I stayed in bad relationships for many years until I finally realized that it was very unhealthy and I actually spent two years single and focusing on me. It helped me learn what I want and what I do deserve in a relationship. I recently started seeing a great guy, and so far it's going well.

From what I've experienced, if your s/o is allowed to get away with being unfaithful, he will keep doing it. You deserve better than that.

kahlansmommy
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 10:43 PM

I am glad that you have received counseling. I am sorry that you have to endure this alone. As for the boyfriend, it is hard to let go of him because of how much you depend on him as a friend. I don't know if you attend achurch but a pastor may help you. They are usually nonjudgemental and have suggestions. they may even find a friend for you in the same situaton. please Believe me when i say that is am really not a religious person, but i have changed my ways in the past month- really relying on my church family.

I hope you find peace and make the right decision for you and your daughters.

childofGod995
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 1:20 AM

first of all being with a man just because you are lonely is wrong especially if he has been unfaithful to you. you have to learn to love yourself first before you can expect anyone else to love you or you to be able to love anyone else.i also have depression and anxiety and am on medication for it. there are times when i choose to be by myself which everyone needs and times when i feel i need to be with friends. you should go out to different events and other things that go on in your town. learning to meet people and make friends is hard, but if you go to church, that is the greatest place to start. i myself belong to a mood disorder support group and a recovery group that is for anything that hinders your walk with God. a lot of the time when i feel bad i read the Bible or call a good friend and talk my problems out with them. another good thing might be to keep a journal and journal as much as possible. a therapist is definitely what you need and even if it is for the rest of your life, so what if it helps you. do not look ahead to your future, take one step at a time and one day at a time.no one knows what is instore for tomorrow, so why worry about it. when looking for a therapist, make sure it is one that you feel very comfortable with. i have seen plenty since i was a young girl and now i finally found one i would not give up for the world. as a matter of fact we have a lot in common.it is time for a new beginning for you. a journey to happiness and put your past in the past where it belongs.it is time to love YOU.good luckBy the way if you are looking to make friends, even the ones online are great. i made friends through facebook and http://www.sparkpeople.com/ have a lot of teams that you can look up and make friends through them. it has a lot of good things.

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:35 AM

I've been there , stuck in an unfufilling reationship, and it is so much better to go it alone.  I had to do that with my oldest son's father.  I was alone for a few years before meeting my husband.  In that time I learned what I needed out of a relationship and how to be self-sufficient.  Even now being married I think some degree of self-sufficiency is good for a relationship.

I've been cheated on in the past, by boys/men before I had kids and it was so hard. No one deserves that.

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