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need advice

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:19 PM
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so .. Im pregnant.

from tthe start, my relationship with fiance, wasnt hte best. we dated for like 8 months, but he never asked me to be hsi girlfriend.. I didnt really care for things like that. I loved him. i dont really need a tittle to feel what I feel for him... . weve been together aprox 5 years.

after we dated for 8 months.. i found a message he sent to a "friend" the message said; for some strange reason I spend entire days thinking about you.

he had never sent a message to me in those 8 months. I had sent him ome mesages but he never replied. he ahdnt really told me something as nice as that.

he HAD told me I wants femenine enough..

and that I was too fat.

and that my life is a mess...

and that wehat I felt for him, wasnt mutual...


so I broke up with him.. and he asked me to forgive him, that he had said all those horrible things, because he was still strung on his ex girlfriend. that he loved me.  that she is jsut a friend,  i stupidly asked him if he liked her. and he was honest with me and said yes. but that he ws in lovewithme.

he ended upa sking me to be his girlfriend, and I stupidly.. VERY sTUPIDLY said yes.

from then things got better. he kept his friendship. it mad e me jelous. he knew it, but I am never going to forbid anything to anyone. its not me. wel.. maybe to my DD but thats different,

anyways, last year we broke up. and I started dating another guy. but i ddnt love him. eventually my now fiance, looked for me and asked me to mary him.  i thought about it and said yes. he proposed to me, he had a very different in take on life. he had a more positive attitutde, and i said  yes.

i talked to the guy I was dating, i explaiend my feeligs to him, and we decided we could be friends.

my fiance, didnt like that AT ALL. i said it wasnt fair, because he had kept his friendship the whole time, disregarding how it made me feel..

so he asekd me to compromise my friendship for his. he would stop talking to her but I had to stop being the other guy's friend.

i agreed. i hought it was fair. and I went to my friend, and explaind the situation, and explained to him, that my fiance was worhth the try. the guy, kind of made fun of me, but I brushed it off. i didnt care, i was happy.

we had a very happy loving relationshp for aprox 1 year . in the begginning he asked me to have a baby with him, and I said yes. I was sooo happy. i finally had what I wanted. and the fact that he was no longer  in contact with her. made my heart rest. mayb that is pathetic. maybe my security should lay within me, and not depend on wether or not there is another girl in his life.

but I was happy. it took us amost he whole year to concive,

and ween i found out i was pregnant, I was sooo happy. he is vry ahppy with the baby too..

he started takng more care of me. and we had an overall perfect relationship...

he had changed from the guy who always found something negative in everything, to a guy who would reonsider the situation,a nd change his attittude. beause he loves me.

so his mom dies,

and who shows up t o the funeral....

she does. i was surprised, but i didnt say anything, he asked me if he cuold introduce us, that she is just a friend, and i had to aagree.. we were at his moms funeral and iwas not going to make a scene. so he introdusce us, and she was there with her boyfriend ( who happens to be my fiance's friend) no ig deal right?

i asked where she was working.. she is wroking one block away from where he works -_-

while he told me once, that since they were no longer friends, he had no idea how she was...  now i think this was a lie, he KNEW she worked there,. but this is just me assuming things...

ok, so I asked him some time after, who ahd invited her, if he had deleted her rom his phone in front of me..

he said another co worker ahd invited her... -_-

I trusted him, and eblieved him. and I didnt want to be on top of him considering that his mom jut apsd away in november.

but I noticed she kept on claling him, and they message each other.

when I asked him about it. he said, that she hd asked someon for his number, ( its a new number) and that she was just checkng up on hi mbecause of his mom's death.

i believed him. again -_- until one day he left his phone in my car . I wasnt going to look through it. but he called me and he souncded panicky, he asked me to turn it off and leave it in the car the whole day... yea right.

i took it p to ny offce and started browsing, he deletes allhis mssages. AL of them. what is he hidding? so I look ed through his whatsapp pictures. well there he has a picture of her, this was before his mom passed away.

not a sexy pic. a pic of her n her halloween costume. but this was sent to him before his moms death. :(

he had been lying to me.

i confronted hima bout it. ut by this time. i am 5 months pregnant. :( ifeel horrible. he syas she is just a friend, he apologized for lying. he told me he AD deleted ehr phone, but that she contacted him, and he didnt stop the contact afterwards.

i KNOw he is not cheating, she is in texas now, we live in mexico. but the fact that he lied,... makes me feel horrible,

then the fact hat _I felt so secure and happy while he was sneaking around makes me feel so stupid,

i DO acknowledge, that our relationship was ettr because he is changing, he is sweet to me, he cares form me and the baby, and takes care of my DD.

but now I feel s heart broken.  feel like I was not worth the effort to stop talkng to her.

and well.. Ivve been trying to get over this, because it sems stupid to end a relationship over something so dumb... specially now that baby is in the way...


but i feel so sad. i cant stop thinking about it. i want to sell my smart phone, because it kils me to see him online in whats app and KNOW he is talking to her.

it bugs me because she is his seret, they are not friends in facebook, but he chats with her through whatsapp.. like if he wa hiding something.. :(

i regret accepting to have this baby so soon after starting things up. it felt right in the beginning, but now it feels ike I am stuck in this situation.

its not as serious as to end our relationship.but t bugs me and I am feeling so sad over it. and he will coninue to be her friend. I am still not the tyoe to forbid something. I would end the relationship befor eI ahve to tellhim what he cna or cant do.

i regret being pregnant, and I constantly want to cry.

he tries to cheer me up, and he tells me tht the only thing I bneed to understand i how much he loves me, and that he is with me. and he would never cheat on me, and he has always been faithfull.

i try to explain to him, what an emotional affair is, but we live in mexico, her eis no ranslation for that, and he thinks I am exagerting,

but he likes her, he thinks she is preety. and he mantains a relationship wth her. and hides it from me.. i think this is preety bad. it make sme feel  horrible,how can it NOT be bad...

after Iconfrinted him, he told me he didnt knowif he would continue being her friend. and I thought he was thinking about ending the friendship..

but 2 days ago.. he left his phone in my bed.. and found messages o her. very random back and forth conversation about me and the babym and about her boyfriend

i know they are jsut friends and that there is nothing going on.. but it is still being hidden from me, so  Iconfronted him again. and he said he left the messages thre so I could read theconversation and see thers nothing going on...

I feel like he lieks her, but nevr had the guts to tell  her, so he fbefriended her. but I still think likes her. ( again this is me assuming things)

she must be worth all the sadness this is causing me... or he wouldnt be doing it. I cant seem to understand why she is so special to him.  and I was not worth the effort to end the friendship, he kept it up, in secret because he knew my feelings would be hurt if I knew.. so he knew what he was doing was wrong, but he apologized for it, and now expects me t accept the fat that he will remain his friend.

and I am just here thinking about ending the relationship over all these randm things.. this is not even like me.. must be the hormones... bt I  have to fight back my tears cause  I am at work... :(


sorry its long just needed to get it alll out. i dont ahve annyone to talk to .. because they allspeak spanish here, and I cant fully explain myself as I can in English





by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:19 PM
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