Before I start this, I know that I need to take my meds. I stopped taking all of them because I was sick of just having pills shoved at me and no one really trying to teach me how to deal with being bipolar. So of course, now I get depressed easily.
Last night (well, all of yesterday really) was awful. Hubby was constantly yelling at me and telling that I couldn't do anything right. We moved about a month ago and we went from an electric to a gas stove. They cook differently and I'm still getting used to the stove. Well, hubby was yelling at me telling me that I couldn't cook right and what the hell happened that all of a sudden I can't cook. (I'm normally an excellent cook.) Earlier in the day he started yelling at me because I got my debit card locked in the atm yesterday. It was an accident. I'm used to atms that have the "push in, pull out" slots not the slots where it sucks up your card. So I drove away without it. I already called me bank and she said that they don't open the atm until about 1 pm to balance it.
I just feel like a complete failure. I got bad last night. Railing at God, begging him to make it all go away. I'm going to call the counseling center here next week because I start my new job this week and I want to get settled in there before I put myself through any stress of starting therapy.
ETA: I looked up the times that my local counseling center is open. I'm in luck that they are open til 8pm two nights a week. Also, about 25 minutes away is a NAMI support group that meets 2x a month. So next week, I'm going to call the counseling center and set up an appointment.
Also, the bank called first thing this morning and said that they would check the machine for my card. And yay! It was in the machine. :) So I got that back. I'm excited to start my job tomorrow. It's only a temp job but it's better than nothing since we moved. Also, it's in my field of study. I'm feeling better today than yesterday and can only hope that with a little help, I'll get better.