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Doing better but still havent found out what tiggered all this

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:24 PM
  • 6 Replies


well ladies im happy to say i am feeling better though tonight not so much. i think it has to do with everything that happen today. my grandmother had to be taken to the hospital at 7am :(. i will say the thearpy and med's are helping and i slowly feel like my old self even though i still have bad days. day's where i find life pointless and dont want to go on :( i hate it. plus i live in fear of going back to how i was. having another attack and losing myself agian. i dont want to feel that again or that pain :( ugh i hate it plus i still dont know what caused all this in the first place. i dont think it was from all the abuse, i mean that was over 3 yrs ago??? and why is it hitting me now at 23 years of age?? idk i have thought maybe my poor eating habits played a part. that maybe i was killing my self in a way by not eating that my body did something or started to shut down and that made all this happen. I still dont know what caused it and i wish i did. I hate living with this fear of it happening again :( anyway thought i'd come here and talk to someone who understands 

by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:24 PM
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Replies (1-6):
lyrick24
by Group Admin on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:37 PM

 its normal to live with the fear of it all happening again. but as time goes on and you continue to do better it wont be so bad. i am glad you are feeling better. just enjoy it.

skyelyns_mommie
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 8:47 PM



Quoting lyrick24:

 its normal to live with the fear of it all happening again. but as time goes on and you continue to do better it wont be so bad. i am glad you are feeling better. just enjoy it.

Thanks im trying but im on edge tonight i guess after all thats happen. idk i keep telling myself it wont happen and if it does i now know how to deal with it better. its been just over 3months since this happen


matreshka
by on Apr. 4, 2013 at 6:47 AM
the past has a way of sneaking up on us. the same thing happened to me. maybe its something to work on in therapy. it could also be a sign yr ready to deal with it.
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rosiemendo
by Bronze Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 7:17 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't want to sound redundant, but I have posted this to many in response to their crises.  I am 57 years old.  I had an alcoholic, abusive, violent father when I was a kid.  My home life was terrible.  I waited for the day I could legally leave and I did.  I struggled on my own, took a lot of chances in life, and eventually settled down and married at the age of 24.  I had 4 children.  My life seemed to be finally "happy."  I worked as a Teaching Assistant for over 20 years in our public schools.  Along the way, I lost my brother (my only sibling) to AIDS, my husband cheated on me, I lost my best friend to breast cancer, I lost my mother-in-law to cancer.  This is only part of my story.  Thirty years later, one day I walked away from my job in tears, got in my car, don't know how I made it home, but this is the last thing I remember.  "Woke up" almost 2 years later after I had been starving myself, trying to die, was hospitalized a couple of times, and my husband was taking me for ECT (ElectroConvulsiveTherapy).  Thank God I remember nothing about that horrible time; however, I lost a couple of years of my life.  Three, four years later, I am on meds for depression and anxiety, see my psychiatrist and psychologist regularly, and still receive ECT.  In fact, I have a treatment scheduled tomorrow.  I went from needing 3 treatments in a week, to spacing them 2 weeks apart, then 4, 6, 8, and 10, but I had to go back down to 9 weeks.  My point is you are so young, get help while you can; please don't wait until it "hits" you one day.  I don't know what actually pushed me over the edge, and I thought I had dealt sufficiently with issues from my past; I sought the help of my counselor for well over 10 years before my breakdown.  I still don't know what caused it, but it's not important.  What is important is to move on and live life to the fullest.  Enjoy your kids as noisy as they are while they are young and you are young.  You never know what's in store for the future.  I wish you all the luck in the world and know that you are not alone.  There are so many wonderful members and administrators of CafeMom who are willing to listen and help point you in the right direction.  Take advantage of us! 

Serenity7
by Silver Member on Apr. 4, 2013 at 1:46 PM

 ((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))

AleaKat
by on Apr. 5, 2013 at 8:32 AM
My triggers can vary from big stressers to insignificant petty things even some random thoughts trigger panic attacks for me.
I'm still learning to deal with it but I'm lucky my DH is so supportive.
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