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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

New to the site, struggling to keep going

Posted by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 5:45 PM
  • 23 Replies
I am new to Cafe Mom, seeking an oulet for my struggles and some way out of isolation, self-imposed to an extent. I have had depression and anxiety most of my life. I am 34, a working wife and mama to a 14 month old girl. My symptoms were very manageable for a while, not even too bad during the pregnancy until I hit my 8th month. Since then I have been depressed, stressed, and anxious. I had to take myself off the insurance because it was too expensive, so meds aren't an option. Counseling is expensive, and my schedule is difficult. I'm desperate for someone to talk to. I have had suicidal thoughts many many times, but I made a promise to my baby girl that I wouldn't leave her. I withdraw because I feel like people don't want to be around me, and I don't like to be around people anymore (at the same time that I need it-crazy right?). It is hard for me to even post this. Anyhow, I appreciate your reading.
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by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 5:45 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Liudmyla
by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 5:56 PM

Hi and welcome to Cafe Mom.

I am sorry that you are depressed.

I can't afford Dr. or meds from my depression either. I have been dealing with depression for over 4 years.

If you want to talk with someone you can pm me :) 

I am 28 year old SAHM with 2 kids.


bakermom5944
by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 6:19 PM

That is what we are here for.  To help!!  Have you tried 5 HTP?  Natural, not expensive and works!!  I'm very happy to hear of your promise to your baby, that is a Huge step in the right direction!!  You need to not withdraw anymore.  You say you work, so how about getting together with some co-workers once in a while?  Or moms from the park?  Day care moms?  You need to be social or the depression will get worse.  Are you eating right, exercising?  Put the baby in the stroller and take long walks, get a coffee, walk around the mall with her, anything to get out and around people!!  Therapists have been advising for years and years!!  i think you think people don't want to be around you, I don't think that is the case!!  You have to make yourself want to be around people, even if you don't want to, you HAVE to!!  For your own sake and the sake of your baby!!  Believe me, I have been there.  Depressed since I was 12, now 47.  Many Drs., drugs and therapists later, I have learned much and it's very hard to do, but you just plain have to do it!!  Coming here was a big step, just keep doing it!  If you don't help yourself, you can't help your baby!!  Hang in there!  HUGS!!  Keep s posted!!  

peggles78
by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 6:26 PM
Thank you. I have not heard of 5htp. I will have to look it up. Work is my major stressor. I hate my job, and the one friend I have there is super busy all the time. The other one I cannot stand. I do her job for her. I do not drive, so going anywhere for social time is very difficult. It basically doesn't happen.
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lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Apr. 14, 2013 at 6:49 PM

 im sorry you are going through all of this. have you called 211 in your area to see what they have to offer in the line ofmental health? sometimes you can find places that will treat you on your income level. check  to see if there is a free clinic in your area where you can get meds. good luck.

peggles78
by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 6:58 PM
Thanks lyrick. Actually the sliding scale cost would still be $57 per session, and I'm not sure I can afford that right now.
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flowrsgalore
by Bronze Member on Apr. 14, 2013 at 7:21 PM

Welcome to the group.  It's hard when you know the thing you need is adult conversation,    friends but then actually doing it is such a struggle.  I have my own set of  excuses I use for not getting help. Who's going to watch my daughter for appointments? I don't want drugs. It probably won't work, I am who I am.  blah blah blah.  I did get a rare invite for a girls night out.  It went ok, but nothing will come of it.  The gals were a bit younger & I doubt much interested in me.  They all work at least part time.  I felt like a dolt sitting with them with so litle to add to the conversation.  I also have been extremely low lately & have had some awful toughts, but like you I have a girl I can't leave to fend for herself.  Good luck hun, hope  things get easier for you.

peggles78
by on Apr. 14, 2013 at 8:45 PM
thank you flowrs. Being social is awkward for me, and I realize that I have a lot of excuses, some reasonable, some not. I hope you feel better too.
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Tracys2
by Gold Member on Apr. 14, 2013 at 10:06 PM

Hey, welcome! I'm 41 but not working, and I get a lot of your situation, especially about other people- I could have written every word- I'm so sorry you're suffering! 

Just FYI, generic prozac is like $8 without insurance. So there is hope with that-and it's well-tested, too. I know how hard it is to see the hope, because of the depression. I'm the same way. But we would be happy to help you with whatever we can.

Hugs!

marney.p
by Member on Apr. 15, 2013 at 5:56 AM

Nice to meet you I get the money issue to. You can always come on here and chat with your new found friends.

I try to surround myself with positive people it helps me and its free.

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Apr. 15, 2013 at 7:14 AM

Welcome to the group!  We are a great bunch of supportive ladies. Do you think that your income would allow you to go on medicaid in your state so you could a therapist?

Our local library has programs for kids babies and up. I started going when my youngest was not quite a year to the lapsit program and he goes now to terrific 2's. Its a good way to get out of the house and meet other moms. I isolate a lot unless I do stuff like this.

If you can get someone to watch your LO, can you maybe find a free in person support group? There you would have some interaction and it does help a lot of people.

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