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Living situation

Posted by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:29 AM
  • 8 Replies
Our living situation sucks pretty bad right now but there is nothing we can do about it for at least 1-2 years until we danger some money saved up and get really good jobs. We are living with my parents and have 2 small kids. The previous times we have had to stay here my mom got under my skin pretty bad and would drive me totally insane with everything but this time honestly hasn't been as bad as I had thought it would be (for me anyway) except for a few things that my mom has done that totally drive me crazy like letting my daughter (16 months) play wih marbles. But we have finally gotten those things under control with her and she has been a huge help lately. She helps watch Lexi (my daughter) if we need to run somewhere or need a little more sleep or just need a break in general and my mom is usually the one to get her out of bed in the morning (which totally pissed me off at first but now I see it more as a blessing so I can sleep just a little bit longer). And this morning my mom and dad was a huge help. My mom got up with my daughter when she woke up at 630 when my dad came home from the store. I had gotten almost zero sleep and my mom had offered to take Leo this morning (she offered last night before bed) for his morning feeding so we could sleep a little more or so I could get ready to run with my sister (that didn't happen) so she already had our daughter out of bed and everything and she still took Leo for us so we could sleep a little bit longer. Which was an amazin help for me. The problem that is arising is I having to play middle man between my fiancé and my mom. And it is killing me. Some of the things I have to actually mediate and come to a solution we can all agree on. But the thing that is really bugging the crap out of me know is my mom does certain things to "help" or that she thinks is needed or she thinks is alright. I have learned from all of his time to pick my battles and some things really aren't important and that is definitely true now. Some things really aren't a big deal at all to me. Sure they can get annoying but why sweat the small stuff. HOWEVER my fiancé keeps griping about EVERY little thing that my mom does. Yes some of it she is blatantly going against something we said but it is still something that is no big deal in the long run. Other things are just things my mom does and has done for years and some of it is things she thinks she is doing to help. But the fact is that my fiancé is getting pissed about basically everything my mom does lately and then Giles at me about it. Which is driving me totally bonkers and stressing me out way more then normal. Today for instance has been that my ''mom" used a new bottle when the one we had made ran out (I was the one that did the new bottle not my mom and he dropped it when I said it), them be was mad because we had to run errends, them it was because mom put Lexi in a dress instead of what we had her in (Lexi was undressing herself and stopped once the dress was on), then it was because of nap time and mom getting Lexi down with juice instead of milk, the not was because mom gave the dogs table scraps (something she has done for years), and it was because mom put the baby bottle over ice (in a champagne bucket) to keep it fresh (when he said previously that Leo doesn't like a cd bottle which is true), then he was mad because my mom gave the dogs food on our bed. And a few other things throughout the day. This was all just TODAY there has been complaints like this daily since Sunday. And 1-2 every few days since we moved in a month ago. It is driving me nuts because while I think it is perfectly fine to let these things go as they really aren't doing any harm he keeps getting mad about them and complaining to me about them when there is nothing I can do and I am not going to talk to my mom about all of it just because I don't want to cause a problem over something that doesn't even matter. When we were staying with his grandma he would totally over look everything that she did or said that was basically the same thing my mom is doing. The major concern I am having is he is totally stressing me out over the petty crap that I am overlooking simply for my peace of mind. With totally stressing me out my temper has been pretty short with him and others but I end up taking it out on him. With my temper being short he keeps gettin pissed at me for things I do or say. And I know eventually all of this is going to build and turn into an "I told you so" situation because I know eventually it will all start bugging the crap out of me and eventually he will be saying "I told you moving back was a bad idea" and I know eventually he is going to use the petty things and the extra stress on me as a way of getting us to move out before I have planed. And if we move out before I have planned we could end up leaving just to move back in 6-9 months or a year (the pattern it has been for 4 years now). And I am tired of moving I am tired of leaving just to have something happen (loosening jobs) to make us come back. I want to stay here for a year maybe 2 so we can get decent stable jobs and get money saved up so we can either buy a house of our own or purchase one of the houses my grandparents own (they currently have 4). I know that by October of 2015 we have to have our own place which is why I have certain things planned so we can have our own place by then and once we have it we don't have to worry about losing it a few months latter. But he doesn't seem to see the big picture and doesn't seem to understand why I am doing things this way. And a while back he told me he wanted me to be a SAHM since we can't afford 1200 in child care a month and because with my anxiety, bipolar and depression I tend to not do well workin because people push my buttons easily and because I get very anxious when dealing with lots of people and hate dealing with mad people. But I have basically been the only one looking for work. I have applied to almost double what he has. And I know if I am the one back to work first the. He will totally stop looking all together and if I am back to work first I know that I will eventually end up sabatosing my job because I can't deal with the stress. And I can't even go back to work until around June 1st. Anyway sorry for the long rant and ramble I just needed toget it all out before my head exploded.
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by on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:29 AM
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Replies (1-8):
diaperstodating
by Bronze Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 1:41 AM
~ Hugs ~
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lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 9:49 AM

 to be honest i think he is being too picky. i would look over alot of things if i was living in someone elses home. it sounds like he needs to get up and go looking for a job so you can get out of the house if he doesnt like it.

leahbeah143
by Leah on Apr. 21, 2013 at 2:44 PM
1 mom liked this

 *hugs*

I know it's super frustrating living with the parents, but he seems to be letting every little thing get to him. And you can't listen to him gripe about every little thing for two more years, you'll both go nuts.

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Apr. 21, 2013 at 2:57 PM

I would tell your fiancee to try to bear it and not stress about your mom until you guys get a place of your own. It is a blessing that you all are able to stay there and remind him of that. Ar eyou on any waitlists for subsidized housing?

Monkeymama930
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 12:27 AM
It's not his house and he is probably havering a manhood issue about having to live with someone else.
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lexismom90
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 12:52 AM
Unfortunately in my aria they aren't even taking applications for a lot of thigs like that and until we can get back to work we don't qualify.

Quoting matreshka:

I would tell your fiancee to try to bear it and not stress about your mom until you guys get a place of your own. It is a blessing that you all are able to stay there and remind him of that. Ar eyou on any waitlists for subsidized housing?

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childofGod995
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:13 AM

i would tell yor fiance' to find his own place if he could not handle what is going on there, but stay together as a couple.

lexismom90
by Bronze Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:01 PM
I would tell him that. Except I need his help to care for my kids and to keeps own sanity.

Quoting childofGod995:

i would tell yor fiance' to find his own place if he could not handle what is going on there, but stay together as a couple.

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