Her problems are becoming my problems and effecting me ***Update****
I know this isn't the right group, but I feel this might be the most supportive and informed group.
Here's the story: My best friend is engaged to an alcoholic. :( He keeps cheating on her, threatening to kill himself, mentally abuses her when he drinks. He drinks everyday. The biggest bottle of Crown is gone in 3 days. He has done nothing but bring her down for years. He wont do anything she asks of him. She has been waiting since 2011 ( before he started really drinking hard) for him to ask her father for her hand and he has/will not do it. So no one in her family knows they are engaged. She is ALWAYS calling me. venting, crying, needing advice and support. I give all the resources I have for her. She never takes my advice. She plays it off. She enables him. Just yesterday she called crying about his addiction. I emailed her every link I could find for rehabs, out patent centers, AA meetings, counselors, I could find for the city. I sent her website links to have a interventions and many other things. Today..she says everything is ok and she forgives him. She told me straight up, he is HER drug.
I HAVE CRIED AND CRIED OVER IT. She is my best friend for over 20 years, her pain has become my pain. I think about it daily. I get soodrained after talking to her about it. I know nothing I have said has been taken it. It's making me depressed. All I want is for HER to be happy and she's not. I want to take a break from her but she quilt trips me by saying how she has no one else to support her. So I keep listening and continue to be drained by her. IDK what to do anymore. I cant support their relationship. How do I step back without loosing the friendship?
So she called this morning. I didn't answer because I had just woken up and just wasn't in the mental state to want to talk to her. She left a voicemail that I listened too a few hours later. She said "everything is OK now, that she had a great night sleep last night, I dont think he will do rehab or out patent treatments....bla bla bla". I didnt even finish the 3 minute long message. So instead of getting mad and crying again, I just shut off. From here on out ladies I will no longer care. She made her choice. I yet again sent her every resource in the book, advice, support, I've done all I can do for her. There's nothing left. I refuse to let it effect me like it has. Next time I do talk to her I'm going to tell her that I no longer want to hear about her relationship. I'm also going to inform her that I not longer plan to be in her wedding because I cant support their relationship and I wont put myself though that. That I love HER with all my heart, but I have to think about my own state of mind and emotions. Thanks for your advice and support ladies.