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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Things not to say to someone struggling.....

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 1:51 PM
  • 9 Replies
2 moms liked this

Just came across this.  Thought  it applies to depression, anxiety/mental illness,etc.,too.

by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 1:51 PM
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Replies (1-9):
lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 2:02 PM

 ive heard several of these many times and i hate it.

leahbeah143
by Leah on Apr. 22, 2013 at 2:11 PM

 yes!

Seashell77
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 2:44 PM

Some of the things on the list help me to hear or even say to myself, such as "this too shall pass" when I'm going through something horrible, but temporary.  But some of the other things on the list do not at all help to have being said to you, especially when you are in chronic pain.

I also try to figure some people who have said some of those things may be "well meaning" but they just didn't understand my disability enough to know better. Then there are others who are just very critical in general and then I tell myself to "consider the source"

I guess that's what makes coming to this group a good and safe place, because we are supportive of each other and care. Thank God this group exists.  I'd be a lot more alone without CM and especially this group, that's for sure. 

Letha
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:39 PM
I also say these things to myself and it helps me! But when someone else says it to me it's hurtful cause you feel that they just don't care or understand!


Quoting Seashell77:

Some of the things on the list help me to hear or even say to myself, such as "this too shall pass" when I'm going through something horrible, but temporary.  But some of the other things on the list do not at all help to have being said to you, especially when you are in chronic pain.

I also try to figure some people who have said some of those things may be "well meaning" but they just didn't understand my disability enough to know better. Then there are others who are just very critical in general and then I tell myself to "consider the source"

I guess that's what makes coming to this group a good and safe place, because we are supportive of each other and care. Thank God this group exists.  I'd be a lot more alone without CM and especially this group, that's for sure. 


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diaperstodating
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:42 PM
I agree!
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peggles78
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 10:43 PM

The two I have disliked myself were "suck it up" and in regards to when I was struggilng with a newborn "appreciate this time because they grow up so fast." I can understand the last one now, but I wanted to slap the people telling me that at the time. It was much much less than helpful.

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:33 AM

Some of these things can be dowright hurtful and mean to hear.  Thanks for sharing.

mdawn028
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:47 AM
I love it it is so true u go hon. Hugs Dawna
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mdawn028
by on Apr. 23, 2013 at 7:53 AM
People who aren't or haven't been through what we go through do not understand at all so they say stupid things that don't make u feel any better at all. People who are going through what we are or have been there seem to help me to talk to them cause they understand where I'm coming from. The ones who don't understand do say those hurtful words the words are right on the money I have been told all those things from people who don't and didn't understand. Hugs Dawna thank u for sharing that hon.


Quoting deltathree:


Just came across this.  Thought  it applies to depression, anxiety/mental illness,etc.,too.


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