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My life...

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 10:44 PM
  • 12 Replies
When I was a teen I had severe depression thanks to my god-awful step father. I never felt good enough. He was abusive (physically, emotionally, sexually, & mentally). I attempted suicide 2 times and started cutting. He often did drugs and cheated on my mother. He was a horrible husband.

My grandmother saved my life and made me a strong women. i only made it out at 18 because of her.

Im 25 now. I have 2 kids and have been married to dh for almost 7 years. My life, until 2013, was great. Then i was in a car accident on 2/1/13. I have been in therapy for my back and therapy for the PTSD. Before the accident, i never had issues with anxiety or panic attacks. But now... they r frequent.
My marriage took mya huge hit with it as well. I wont go into the 8 million details but we've been working hard to repair ourselves and our marriage. He swears ip and down that he loves me and things have been great for the last 3-4 days... until today.

I got very little sleep last night (dd is 7m & nursi ng still). I woke up in a funk and he seemed off when he left for work. All day I have just been having these panic attacks that he is gonna leave. That he isnt happy anymore. That im not good enough. I keep having "visions" of him walkingthrough the door and telling me he doesnt love me. Ive texted him & he doesnt reply whivh makes me worry more.
The fear is eating away at me.

I cant take meds becuz im ebfing. I tried everything to distract myself. Nothing worked. Even w/ a nap I woke up from nightmares. :( idk what tondo

Eta- i am in therapy alone as well as we are in couples therapy. .
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 10:44 PM
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by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:49 PM
Have you tried herbal tea, taking a walk, reading a good book? My therapist also recommended progressive muscle relaxation which I need to do more. They have several YouTube videos you can watch to guide you through the process. Is there a close friend or family member you can talk to? I also suggest discussing your feelings with your husband. I wouldn't accuse him of anything just explain that you are having thoughts that he might leave. It might help to get it out on the table and if you need to get your therapist involved if you feel you can't discuss it with him without a mediator. Good luck and let us know how things go.
by Group Admin on Apr. 27, 2013 at 7:04 AM

 i would make an appt with a therapist. they can teach you ways to deal with your anxiety. plus you need someone to talk to. did the drs tell you that your back was going to heal? talk with your husband about how you feel and keep the communication open.

by Bronze Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 7:39 AM

Im sorry your dad was such an ass.

Its hard to trust men when you have experienced the things that you have. Please talk to your husband. Looking after babies is stressful and isolating. Be sure to get out and about in the day.  Can you talk to a therapist.

by Gold Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:20 AM


It's unbelievable what a bad accident and injuries does to change a life and overnight.  I am speaking from experience. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. It's good you are getting help for your back and also you and dh are working on marriage. :-)))  You should be proud that you are doing what you can to help yourself. 

Your accident was so recent. You need time to heal and try not to be so hard on yourself. I know easier said than done, but it still is good to hear this, cause it's true. 

A lack of sleep doesn't help, for it makes it harder to function in all ways. See your doctor to figure out some things to do for this problem. 

I'm so sad knowing you are doubting your dh's care and love for you. Get some help with this too, for maybe therapy can help. The other ladies who responded gave you great advice too.

by Silver Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 11:30 AM


by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 1:54 PM

Sounds like life is kicking your butt lately. 

by Silver Member on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:12 PM

 call your therapist..explain how you are feeling. She should be able to help.

by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:54 PM
is your therapist helping you with cognitive behavioral therapy skills for the panic attacks. once I stopped dbt and my son was weaning I went back non meds. even with a little breastfeeding some meds are safe but I totally understand if you don't want to do it.
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by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:37 PM
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Did they check you for a concussion from the wreck?  Have you tried FACING the fears from the wreck?  My dad and I both were in really bad wrecks a few years ago (3 separate head on collissions...he was in one without me, i one without him, one we were in together...though I slept through that one lol).  Anyway, I dealt with it by 1) going back to the crash site(s) and looking at the damages; 2) going through the same motions; 3) persistence.  

by on Apr. 27, 2013 at 11:15 PM
I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I wish there was something that could make you feel better. Hang in there.
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