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Three Week Old Baby .....Sometimes I don't like him and I feel awful for it :/

Posted by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:03 AM
  • 16 Replies

Hi all,

     I'm a 23 year old single parent, and I have a three week old son and I feel awful for even thinking this, but sometimes I don't like him and wish someone would just take him for a while. At times, I really don't want to be bothered with him or anyone else

I formula feed him because of medication for my anxiety, and he has had extreme constipation and gas, which has made me feel super guilty for not breastfeeding (I wanted to breastfeed badly) On top of that, I dont think he sleeps the way most newborns do.  It can take hours for him to go down and when he does, he wakes right back up within minutes...He is also extremely fidgety. I feel like something is mentally wrong with him, even though the doctor says that he is extremely healthy.  I also feel guilty for letting him cry it out the past two days, but I honestly have tried everything and dont know what else to do.  I'm exhausted...I've lost all forty of my pregnancy pounds within three weeks because I literally have no time to eat because he is so demanding. There have been days where all I have had is juice.  

The constant criticism and unsolicited advice doesn't help either. I'm surrounded by know-it-alls who constantly berate me because I'm a new mom and because they feel that I didn't "need a baby". I also lost my grandma during my seventh month of pregnancy and I'm currently going through a career change.  Because my son's dad abandoned us and kicked me out at 7 weeks pregnant (I was given an was either us stay together and me have an abortion, or I keep the baby and he leaves me...sometimes I feel that I made the wrong decision....Maybe I should have just had an abortion and leave him anyways, but when I scheduled the abortion, I couldnt go through with it), I've been having to be somewhat dependent on my mother and move in with her, which is another story. To sum it up, she is very controlling and emotionally and verbally abusive.  

Sometimes, I hate motherhood. I feel like Motherhood is just riddled with guilt and grief....Definitely not feeling "rosy" or "positive"..I've made an appointment with a counselor because I'm positive that I have postpartum depression.  

Just needed to vent and get some advice :(

People always ask me, ‘You have so much confidence. Where did that come from?’ It came from me. One day I decided that I was beautiful, and so I carried out my life as if I was a beautiful girl … It doesn’t have anything to do with how the world perceives you. What matters is what you see. Your body is your temple, it’s your home, and you must decorate it.” —Gabourey Sidibe ♥
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Leah on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:06 AM


do you have a baby swing? that thing was a lifesaver when my daughter was a baby!

by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:12 AM

No :(

I'm going to invest in one as soon as I get the funds. I heard it can be a lifesaver! 

by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 11:28 AM

(((hugs))) do you think his formula needs to be changed so he can sleep better. I am sorry you are going through so much right now. Newborns are so demanding.

by Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:36 PM

Ok first off, You are not a terrible mother, you are not alone, you are not the only mother who has felt this way and good for you for seeking counselling!! The fact is, you are sleep deprived, you are a first time mom and you are doing it on your own with people putting in their own two cents and being mean about it  (which can be so frustrating and hurtful!!)

Postpartum Depression can be very serious and make you feel EXACTLY how you are feeling now. Just hang in there because it will get better!! Your son is beautiful by the way :) It took me three kids before I asked for help because I was too scared, but now that I have, things have gotten better. I wish you and your son the best, I hope your councillor appointment helps and you and your little man can get on track. I was a single mother to a son for a long time, and yes it was rocky but it is worth every second.  We all have doubts we all second guess ourselves as mommies, try not to be to hard on yourself and just love your son and be the best mom you can be :) Hang in there momma xoxo

by Group Admin on Apr. 30, 2013 at 12:51 PM

 he is a beautiful boy. im glad you have an appt with a counselor. you certainly could be suffering from ppd. you also need some breaks in there to have time for yourself. will one of your family members watch your baby while you do something on your own? being young and having a baby is hard. i know. i had my first one at 17 and if it werent for my mother i dont know what i would have done. i also suffered from ppd. i hope the counselor can help you and get you back to being  a happy person. good luck momma!

by Silver Member on Apr. 30, 2013 at 1:02 PM
Your son is beautiful. My son is almost 6 weeks old and he has been such a challenge compared to his older sister. Much of what you said us exactly what we have been going through. I wasn't able to breast feed this time because of my meds. So formula it was turns out he is supper sensitive to milk and now has to be on the most sensitive kind and the most expensive kind. It has helped some but not a lot. Since he was born I have been up from 2am-5am because he just wants to play. Other times it will take me hours to get him to sleep to have him wake 30 minutes latter. It is really hard and honestly idk how I have made it so far. If you can have friends or family come by to help you out. Have them take him for just a few hours so you can sleep or just have some alone time. Remember you are important too and in order to be a good mom you also have to take care of yourself. I don't know if you have tried the "happiest baby on the block" yet but it has helped us a lot so far. It's about the 5 S's swaddle, side position, swing, sush, and suck. It helps remind baby of the comfort if the womb and helps to calm him down. Sometimes it doesn't work but other times its exactly what calmed him enough for me to finally sleep. Feel free to add me or pm me any time.
by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 5:17 PM

 How your baby is. That is how some babys are. All babys are different. Living with your mother who is abusive does not help you. It is good you are getting help. (((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))

by on May. 1, 2013 at 7:58 AM

 When I had my 1st child, I looked forward to her napping and got so sad when she'd wake up. Thank goodness it was post partum depression that I could get over myself. You're not the only mom to feel that way BELIEVE ME! I know right now you feel like you should have kept that abortion appt but when he gets older I bet if someone asked him if he's glad you kept him he'd say yes. He's gorgeous! His actions are pretty typical for a baby his age. I'm glad you were able to get an appt to see someone. I had to stop nursing my last baby due to meds. Don't feel bad about it. I'd definitely check into having his formula switched. My 2nd son would break out in a rash and my 3rd one got constipated so they had to be on a gentle formula. Hang in there mama!

by on May. 1, 2013 at 11:27 AM

Awww..I'm sad for you but proud of you for seeking help. I know you mentioned abortion....did you think of adoption? It's not too late either if you are truly feeling you don't want or can't do it. We adopted our son at birth, a wonderful way to build a family. I'm sure you are a wonderful mom though, and being aware of your feelings is very good.

by on May. 3, 2013 at 8:30 AM

aww he is such a doll! love that pic!

and i want to say ti gets easier, and it does in a way. once you get into your routine, and start bonding more with baby things will start to fall into place. 

when people give you advice, just let it fall in one ear and out the other and say thank you. it is annoying. 

hang in there mama. right now is the mad needy stage. it will get easier.

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