Sorry for all of the pitty party posts lately. I really struggling to keep things normal and to be able to hang on the best I can. I am trying to be the best mom, wife, and daughter that I can be. I just don't know how much longer I can hang on like this. Yes we are living with my parents right now due to circumstances I know I don't have much say in anything that happens. But I am seriously tired of having everything questioned. My mom came out to our living room to iChat (yes we have 2) to see if me and my fiancé were "having an argument". When I said no she said "we'll I can hear you guys clearly through a closed door". Ok well a lot of things can be heard clearly through the doors here they aren't exactly sound proof and when there is zero other noise in the house yes you are going to hear a lot more. So that just put more stress on me then what I needed. Other things I have heard the last few weeks from one parent or the other. "The shusher (white noise from our phone or swing) is to loud I can hear it through closed doors" "there's no cereal left (when none of us eat the kind that was mentioned)" "you should take him to the doctor (he had spit up)" "what took so long that wasn't real quick" "the baby kept me up all night" "are you sure he is alright" "you need to lay him down more and not hold him so much". I jus so done having everything brought into question. Since my son was born I have felt like I have needed to keep him as silent as possible at night because of how my mom has been acting. When we had my daughter she never said anything about her crying at night but this time that's almost all I hear about. When we were trying to figure out why Leo was so cranky and not sleeping or doing anything (much of it being prompted by my mom some of it by us) my dad actually says "se of it is just normal new born stuff" I know it's mom that apparently doesn't. My mom questions either what I say or what df says about our dd and what needs to happen or does happen with her. I just need a break from everyone and everything but that just isn't gona happen. I am struggling hard to keep peace and not cause major fights (even small things can cause a huge fight) so to itchy wih mom coming and asking if we are arguing just iced the cake for me. We were seriously just talking in our normal voices actually a little lower since the living room is right next to dds room.
on May. 1, 2013 at 2:58 AM