I've been in therapy since I was nine, on Meds since I was thirteen. I've even tried ect. Nothing works. I don't find much joy in life. At this point I've basically given up on things getting any better for me. I am always tired due to my Meds which doesn't help my depression any. I have a hard time getting out and meeting people. I also feel like I am failing as a wife and mother. Most days I feel so miserable that it's hard not to take it out on the people that I love and that just makes me feel worse. I'm tired of playing med Russian roulette. Here try this or try that and see how you feel. Most Meds make me feel worse not better. I hate myself and I hate my life. I can't work any more bc this emotional vampire I call bipolar disorder has taken over all aspects of my life and made it incredibly hard for me to function at home let alone in a workplace. I'm scared that eventually living for my kids and husband won't be enough and ill just end it all. Sorry for the long vent but you ladies have always been supportive of me.
on May. 9, 2013 at 6:53 PM