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My dh is mad at me because of my depression, idk what to do

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 12 Replies
My dh is furious with me because of the way I have been acting lately. I've slipped back into a depressive mood and I'm having a hard time coming out of it cause he keeps yelling at me and ignoring me and being mean. He was mad at me last week and yesterday he finally decided to not be mad. He was mad over something I can't control. He said it was stupid that I can't control my emotions and feelings. An last night he went off on me again and idk why and its only gettig worse today. He says I ruin everything and hates being married to me. He says its unfair to him to sit around trying to be understanding and waiting for me to get better. Idk what to do. I don't want him to give up on me.
I'm on meds and I see the dr every month
Posted by Anonymous on May. 24, 2013 at 4:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
lyrick24
by Group Admin on May. 24, 2013 at 4:14 PM
2 moms liked this

 maybe you should see a therapist also. it wouldnt hurt him to sit in on some of your sessions so he can educate himself about the disease. it sounds like he doesnt know alot about it. im sorry you have to deal with that.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 24, 2013 at 4:48 PM
I've been thinking about starting to see a therapist, I'm just really scared. And it's extremely hard for me to open up. I need someone that's good at making people talk, otherwise I'll just clam up and it'll be a waste of time.
He doesn't know a lot, and I try to tell him the best I can but he won't listen.
Seashell77
by Gold Member on May. 24, 2013 at 10:30 PM

hugs

I'm really sorry your hubby is not understanding your depression and treating you so unfairly.  Him treating you this way is most probably making your worse or more depressed. Share that with him and let him know his meanness is back firing and making your condition worse. Your dh may think he can "scare" or "intimidate" you out of this and that's very faulty thinking. Patience and kindness will help you to feel better...... it's simple logic.  Maybe you both can try couples counseling? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on May. 25, 2013 at 10:22 AM
When I got diagnosed with bipolar I quickly learned that people even family don't always understand mental illness as a real illness and are dismissive of my feelings or my inability to control my moods. With that being said I'm slowing learning to take care of me and be happy for me in small victories. And also educating myself on my disease so that I can educate others. On my down days I call my primary dr because I trust him and they usually can get me in quicker then my pschychologist or therapist.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 25, 2013 at 11:26 AM
It is making it worse and it's not helping me come out of it. I'm always up and down and I don't usually stay depressed (or at least in a deep depressive state) but when he acts like this I can't come out of it. And I have tried telling him this. We have tried couples counseling before and when I have brought up going again he shot the idea down. Maybe once I start I can get him to go once or twice idk.

Quoting Seashell77:

hugs

I'm really sorry your hubby is not understanding your depression and treating you so unfairly.  Him treating you this way is most probably making your worse or more depressed. Share that with him and let him know his meanness is back firing and making your condition worse. Your dh may think he can "scare" or "intimidate" you out of this and that's very faulty thinking. Patience and kindness will help you to feel better...... it's simple logic.  Maybe you both can try couples counseling? 

leahbeah143
by Leah on May. 25, 2013 at 11:39 AM

 would he try to go to couples counseling with you?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on May. 25, 2013 at 11:44 AM
Part of my problem is I don't take care of me. I was hoping that since we agreed that I cut back on my hours at work I would have more time to focus on me and to do the things that I like for once (or to figure out what it is I like to do). But the list of things that I need to do for the family keeps growing and I don't have enough time before the kids get out of school.
I'm not trying to sound rude or anything but I'm just curious as to what your doctor can do for you on your bad days? I didnt think there was anything they could do, except change your meds. I have been on so many different meds, I'm begining to think there is nothing out there that will help me

Quoting Anonymous:

When I got diagnosed with bipolar I quickly learned that people even family don't always understand mental illness as a real illness and are dismissive of my feelings or my inability to control my moods. With that being said I'm slowing learning to take care of me and be happy for me in small victories. And also educating myself on my disease so that I can educate others. On my down days I call my primary dr because I trust him and they usually can get me in quicker then my pschychologist or therapist.
RyansMom6204
by on May. 25, 2013 at 11:57 AM
I am so sorry you are going through this. I am having a hard time and waiting to start treatment and therapy myself in the next few weeks. My husband is supportive and understanding. He also has depression and can manage his. I could manage my depression and anxiety till a mth ago. I quit my job the beginning of this week bc my issues and work wasn't mixing and was affecting my home life. I have to work tomorrow and my mood has been off this morning and yesterday morning. I also am hoping to get another job through the place
I am going through or a way to help out financially. I am trying and that is all I can do. I know you are trying to but also be straight w/him and tell him you need time for yourself. I have time for myself and I am learning how to tell when I need alone time w/him and letting him know. I am here for you anytime you need or want to talk message me. Hugs
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matreshka
by on May. 25, 2013 at 12:06 PM
1 mom liked this

You need to take care of you. Meds alone won't help you 100%. A good therapist can help you learn coping skills so you can manage day to day problems and life in general.

Quoting Anonymous:

Part of my problem is I don't take care of me. I was hoping that since we agreed that I cut back on my hours at work I would have more time to focus on me and to do the things that I like for once (or to figure out what it is I like to do). But the list of things that I need to do for the family keeps growing and I don't have enough time before the kids get out of school.
I'm not trying to sound rude or anything but I'm just curious as to what your doctor can do for you on your bad days? I didnt think there was anything they could do, except change your meds. I have been on so many different meds, I'm begining to think there is nothing out there that will help me

Quoting Anonymous:

When I got diagnosed with bipolar I quickly learned that people even family don't always understand mental illness as a real illness and are dismissive of my feelings or my inability to control my moods. With that being said I'm slowing learning to take care of me and be happy for me in small victories. And also educating myself on my disease so that I can educate others. On my down days I call my primary dr because I trust him and they usually can get me in quicker then my pschychologist or therapist.


sunangel803
by Angela on May. 26, 2013 at 8:06 AM
My husband used to get mad/frustrated with my depression as well. I think part of it was that he felt powerless in it...there wasn't a whole lot he could do to "fix" it for me. It's frustrating though...depression contributes to relationship issues which feeds back into depression and so on. It's a nasty cycle. Hugs!!
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