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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Feeling down =(

Posted by on Jun. 15, 2013 at 11:24 PM
  • 11 Replies

Hi there. My name is Kathee. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter named Serenity. My husband and I have been together over 8 years. Lately I have been having the feeling of having a second child, but my hubby says "No, one is enough." I just do not agree with him. Neither of us were only children. I am the oldest of 4 and he is the oldest of 3. I know that he did not have a very good childhood, and that maybe part of the reason he doesn't want another. I think that is being selfish. I feel that our daughter should have a sibling to grow up with. Learning to share and having someone to play with and all the other things that come with having a sibling. I feel like he isn't even considering the effect it is having on me. When we talk about it, it either ends in an arguement or him just putting up a wall. I am looking for advice. 

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by on Jun. 15, 2013 at 11:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MichelleJ1000
by Member on Jun. 15, 2013 at 11:27 PM
I would talk to him about the future and how your dd will be alone if something were to happen to you and him.
lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Jun. 16, 2013 at 11:18 AM

 maybe as she grows older and he still knows your desire for another child he will change his mind. does he say why he doesnt want one? i would try to get his reasoning over why he doesnt want to have another one. dont pressure him just ask.

rhodaj
by rho on Jun. 16, 2013 at 12:11 PM

Welcome to the group.

Did you have compilcations during your first pregnancy? If so he maybe worried about that. If not I would talk to him about the pros and cons of only having one child.  

lucy164
by Peggy on Jun. 16, 2013 at 12:21 PM

i think he's being selfish.  the same thing happened to my daughter and she's now in the process of divorce. what if you two go to a marriage counselor?.



leahbeah143
by Leah on Jun. 16, 2013 at 1:05 PM

 welcome to the group!

I'm sorry that your husband is making things difficult.

ksanders_85
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 1:55 PM

Nope, had no complications. 

Quoting rhodaj:

Welcome to the group.

Did you have compilcations during your first pregnancy? If so he maybe worried about that. If not I would talk to him about the pros and cons of only having one child.  


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ksanders_85
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 1:58 PM

I am working on making a list of pros and cons of having an only child. I was never an only child. Maybe some of you ladies can help me out? 

hopeb76
by on Jun. 16, 2013 at 3:43 PM
1 mom liked this

He maybe scared to have another child maybe because of age? You said he did not have a  good childhood so maybe he remembers that and fears his kids may go through the same thing even though you already have one. Im not sure but maybe counseling may work you dont want to push him to far. Good Luck!

nai_ryoku
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 8:06 AM

I'm sorry. I know when a woman wants a baby, it's a pretty strong feeling that doesn't always just go away. Maybe your daughter will eventually vocalize the desire for a sibling. I know my daughter had mentioned about wanting a baby in the house and eventually there was. Maybe her desire will change his mind one day hugging

Rosebud333776
by Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 12:49 PM
Let him know when you know when you can talk quietly that the cycle of a bad childhood can be changed. I find that more often than not people who have had a bad childhood treat their children totally different.


Quoting hopeb76:

He maybe scared to have another child maybe because of age? You said he did not have a  good childhood so maybe he remembers that and fears his kids may go through the same thing even though you already have one. Im not sure but maybe counseling may work you dont want to push him to far. Good Luck!


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