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Mentally abused and don't know what to do

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:40 PM
  • 9 Replies
I came across your comment on cafe mom regarding an abusive relationship. I think I might be in one. I have known my bf for 6 years dating 1 1/2 years. I haven't been able to get a job and he pays the bills and constantly calls me names like whore, slut bitch, dumb, stupid. He tells me to get a job and pay my half of the rent, so I look for work and finally after 3 months I found a job. I worked for 4 months between that year we've been together. He works nights on weekends and I answer the phone for his taxi service but since I am going to start working I don't think I will be able to work his night time job on weekends. My hours vary some days I will work from 8am to 5pm and some days from 5pm to 11pm. His night time job for me to answer the phones is from 10pm to 5 am. I told him how will I be able to work this job and your job as well? He says he doesn't care I have to do both and if I can't I have to quit my job. But he was the one constantly yelling at me to work.. He makes no sense. Idk what to do I need someone else's point of view that doesn't know me and him to tell me am I crazy? Or what should I do?
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:40 PM
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by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:44 PM
1 mom liked this
If my dh ever calle me any of those mes he would have a broken nose and divorce paperwork in the mail. Also, it's his job not yours. He needs to figure it out or pay you as an employee.
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by Group Admin on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:56 PM

first of all he needs to quit calling you those names. who does he think he is?!and if you are answering call for him he needs to pay you otherwise i would keep working my job where i am getting paid and let him hire someone else to answer the phone. just tell him youre not going to do it. i wouldnt give up my job to answer the phone for him for nothing and so he can call you names. 

by Bronze Member on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:22 PM


by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 9:43 PM

I would leave, keep the job you have now, and use that money to start a new life. This guy sounds like a major a-hole! Bless your heart!

by Peggy on Jun. 18, 2013 at 7:16 AM

you're not crazy one bit.  he sounds obnoxious, calling you terrible names and confusing you about work.  dump him and apply for assistance for a while if you need it.  he is a terrible role model for your kids.

by Leah on Jun. 18, 2013 at 10:25 AM

 run don't walk to the nearest exit?

by on Jun. 18, 2013 at 8:49 PM
Sounds abusive to me. :-(
by on Jun. 19, 2013 at 12:01 PM
You already had a job his answering the phones at night. Only he was getting paid n you weren't if I'm reading this correctly. You go work your new job make money of your own n get out!!! It only gets worse from here.
by rho on Jun. 19, 2013 at 1:42 PM

First of all let me welcome you to the group.

Yes you are being mentaly abused. He sounds very controlling and he needs help. But hun I don't normally tell people to get out of a relationship. I normally like to see people work things out. But this is one time I would say get out of it. I am not big on mental or physical abuse by a man. Especially the one that is suppose to love me. 

I have a friend that was married for 20 years that was in a physical and emotional marriage. We really hadn't talked to much for awhile and when we did the one thing that she said was the physical abuse she is almost over but she doesn't know if she will ever be completely over the mental abuse.Which I understand what she was saying. When she tries to do something new she hears in the back of her mind how dumb she is. I also know I still hear that from growing up with mental abuse. I still think I can't do anything right.

So I would get out. Go to a woman shelter if you have no place to go.

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