My youngest daughter reminds me so much of myself when I was younger. She has been depressed lately and constantly thinks that noone likes her and is against her. She is me all over again. Well the other day I sat down and talked with her and found out that she has not been using any of the techniques that I have been teaching her. She gets so down and out if one of her friends decides that they dont like her anymore and that they dont want anything to do with her. After she told me the stories of things that have been going on with her and other little girls lately I got so upset that it threw me into a deep depression. Well to make a long story short the kids are now at my parents house and they have been there for a few days. My daughter does get counseling. I just dont want her to turn out like me. Alone and miserable. She is totally opposite of my oldest daughter who is only a year older than her. I love her so much but I just dont know how to help her anymore. Everytime I see her feeling bad I get upset and start feeling like a bad parent. I want so desperate to help my child. The other day I had a complete mental breakdown and decided to call DCF. I told them I need help and that I was not mentally capable of caring for the kids at the time. I have been thinking of death so much lately and the thought of ending it all I have been looking for counseling for so long but because I dont have insurance its been so hard to find. I am on meds though but I was told that without insurance I wouldnt be able to get counseling. Well they sent a worker out to my moms house because they could not get in contact with me and had a talk with my mom. The lady told me that they feel that its in the kids best interest to not be removed from the home and to remain with family. I really didnt want my kids in foster care I just really needed help and didnt know what to do at the time. My oldest daughter is upset with me. Whe she saw me at my moms house she was a little standoffish. I asked her for a hug and she barely touched me. I felt terrible. I asked her what was wrong and she said "you called that lady to take us away". I explained to her that I didnt call her to take them away I called to get some help. She was still upset I guess because she wouldnt even say goodbye. I just dont feel that I am a good mother for them with my depression and all. I shut myself indoors and dont want to be bothered by anyone. I feel like I have failed at motherhood. I dont know what to do at this point. The dcf worker said that she will do a referral for me to recieve therapy. I just dont know if it would work because I have done counseling so many times in the past and the depression keeps coming back.