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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Mental breakdown

Posted by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 4:54 PM
  • 6 Replies

My youngest daughter reminds me so much of myself when I was younger. She has been depressed lately and constantly thinks that noone likes her and is against her. She is me all over again. Well the other day I sat down and talked with her and found out that she has not been using any of the techniques that I have been teaching her. She gets so down and out if one of her friends decides that they dont like her anymore and that they dont want anything to do with her. After she told me the stories of things that have been going on with her and other little girls lately I got so upset that it threw me into a deep depression. Well to make a long story short the kids are now at my parents house and they have been there for a few days. My daughter does get counseling. I just dont want her to turn out like me. Alone and miserable. She is totally opposite of my oldest daughter who is only a year older than her. I love her so much but I just dont know how to help her anymore. Everytime I see her feeling bad I get upset and start feeling like a bad parent. I want so desperate to help my child. The other day I had a complete mental breakdown and decided to call DCF. I told them I need help and that I was not mentally capable of caring for the kids at the time. I have been thinking of death so much lately and the thought of ending it all I have been looking for counseling for so long but because I dont have insurance its been so hard to find. I am on meds though but I was told that without insurance I wouldnt be able to get counseling. Well they sent a worker out to my moms house because they could not get in contact with me and had a talk with my mom. The lady told me that they feel that its in the kids best interest to not be removed from the home and to remain with family. I really didnt want my kids in foster care I just really needed help and didnt know what to do at the time. My oldest daughter is upset with me. Whe she saw me at my moms house she was a little standoffish. I asked her for a hug and she barely touched me. I felt terrible. I asked her what was wrong and she said "you called that lady to take us away". I explained to her that I didnt call her to take them away I called to get some help. She was still upset I guess because she wouldnt even say goodbye. I just dont feel that I am a good mother for them with my depression and all. I shut myself indoors and dont want to be bothered by anyone. I feel like I have failed at motherhood. I dont know what to do at this point. The dcf worker said that she will do a referral for me to recieve therapy. I just dont know if it would work because I have done counseling so many times in the past and the depression keeps coming back.

by on Jun. 28, 2013 at 4:54 PM
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Replies (1-6):
leahbeah143
by Leah on Jun. 28, 2013 at 8:50 PM
*hugs* I think my parents didn't know how to help me when I was younger either. I really hope that if my daughter starts to show signs of depression that I will see it and be able to get her the help she needs.
Monkeymama930
by on Jun. 30, 2013 at 12:00 AM
1 mom liked this
Can your parents take your kids. They need a stable environment. Can they stay there until you get back on your feet that seems like maybie the best option.

My father is mentally ill and was in and out of institutions. The best thing he did for me was give me to my grandmother a wonderful woman who raised me in a warm loving stable environment. She gave me everything I needed. I know it hurt him but we have arch Bette relationship now then if he would have tried to raise me.

Hope it gets better!
SAMI_JO
by Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 5:59 AM

 My depression keeps coming back, but God gave me an autistic child to raise, and I have to put my self feelings aside, while I take care of him. Yes there are nights I cry all night, or sit in the bed shaking from a panic attack. I don't know how to help you, I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. Suicide is NEVER the best answer. Yes, it gets rid of your pain. But the ripple affect of pain goes thru your children, your parents, your friends, and people you don't even think about anymore. The next time you think about killing yourself, go to a funeral home and ask for a planning sheet. Go thru the complete thing of planning YOUR funeral. The pass out "obituaries" to your family and friends, and you will see the pain you would have caused. I was suicidal for a long time, it runs in my family, but I had to plan a funeral for someone who was my best friend for his whole life. He hanged himself and HIS mother found him. What a memory to live with every day. Seeing your child hanging from the rafters in the garage. It has been almost 7 years and it feels like yesterday. :(   BTW, My son, then 8, came up to me and said "Mommy please don't ever do this to me, and I won't do it to you, promise?"  Rip your heart out, I have chills now just writing it.

lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 8:20 AM

 you done the best thing by giving your kids to your parents  until you can get back on your feet. sometimes it is just too much for us to handle with the depression we are going through. i hope you get your counseling and stay on your meds and get yourself together again for your kids. i hope your parents dont mind keeping them for you. keep an open line of communication with your kids. let them know that this is just temporary and that you love them very much. i hope things work out for the best for you. just take your time with this.

Jstockwell126
by Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 11:03 AM

Hi,

first, you are not a bad mother! You are a great mother for recognizing that you need help and caring enough about your children to put them in a safe place so that you can get it. You are showing your children that people are not perfect and sometimes need help and how to get it. I'm sure your children are confused and possibly angry, and that is normal. I think the best thing you can do is remind them that you live them but that you are not being a good example to them right now so you are working to change that. I know with my depression all I want to do is way down and stay in bed, but I don't. At my worst, my entire bby is in pain but I convince myself to go for a walk anyway. Even though I am in pain, I do it anyway, and by the time I am done I pretty much always start to feel at least a little better. I hope you can let to of trying to be the "perfect parent" because that is not realistic, but things will get better and you will get past this. **hugs** 

matreshka
by Ruby Member on Jul. 1, 2013 at 7:09 PM

You are a very good mother for reaching out for help. Hopefully the referrral will work out and a therapist can teach you some coping skills to get through the depression.

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