I feel like I am losing my mind. Everything is going wrong. Someone keeps stealing our things (neighbor) we lost our car because the place we got it from suddenly decided they weren't going to take our payments anymore. I have no one to talk to. My MIL thinks I am the devil because of my beliefs, and she feels I am going to ruin my daughters life. I am terrified my husband is unfaithful. I might be getting kicked out of college and apparently it costs over 2000 dollars to take two retake classes ONLINE! I don't have a job because no one wants a young nanny even though I have been with two preschools and nannied twice before. My step daughters mom is making it her mission in life to make our life a living H***. I have been battling an addiction to self harm for going on 6 years now and all I can think about is that razor in the bathroom. I am seriously struggling right now and I have no real friends. Best part is I can't get depression meds because my husband makes too much but we can barely afford our pills let alone insurance to go to the doctor (hubby doesn't get his benifits until he has been working there a year its been 4 months) I am really worried that I will fall back into harming and I have been fighting it for years with only one relapse since i quit. Don't get me wrong I don't want to die. My daughter needs me. I know that. I want the peace from the endorphans that are released after you get hurt. That is my addiction.