I am new to all of this, but I really need to do this. Almost 13 years ago I was 6 months pregnant. Went in for monthly check up, and no heartbeat. Later that nite I found myself in the hospital delivering my first daughter (3rd child), and 2 days later a funeral ensued. I thought for many years that I was dealing with it. Now I realize I wasn't and im still not. I carry a lot of guilt and self blame for her death. This morning my friend asked me how her death was my fault. and all I could say was.... I couldn't give her life. I couldn't bring her to term and keep her healthy. It was my responsibility and I failed her. I failed her, my husband and my other children, even the one who came a year later. I must figure this out for myself, so I can do right by my family. I must deal with this the right way in order to save the life I have managed to build. Im on the verge of loosing it all because im stuck in that moment 13 years ago.
on Sep. 29, 2013 at 2:24 PM