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Depression Support Center Depression Support Center

Hospital stay?? Afraid to ask for help

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:38 AM
  • 11 Replies
My depression and anxiety are getting worse. But I am afraid to ask for help. I know I need to consider the hospital, but I am afraid. How long would they keep me if I Am having suicidal thoughts? And what will my dh do. If I go In, who will watch my kids? I can't go in for a long time. And I don't want my family to know...my mother will get all emotional and my dad will just act like I am being dramatic. My mom will feel the need to hug all over me, but when I am like this i do NOT like to be touched. It is even hard to be touched by dh or my kids.
What happens if I go to the er? My fear is holding me back
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
matreshka
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:40 AM

They could keep you in for a week to a couple of weeks. Usually to adjust meds and make sure you are no longer having sucidal thoughts.  Your DH and family would have to watch your kids. Have you thought of doing something like a short stay in respite for a few days or doing a partial hospitalization program (PHP) where you go for the day but get to go home at night?


matreshka
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:42 AM

I think if you are having sucidal thoughts its very important that you seek out help. A week or so of having your dh and family watch your kids is more than worth it for a lifetime without you.

katzmeow726
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:45 AM
Dh and family can't. They all work and none of them have the ability to take off for any extended time. I have no help

Quoting matreshka:

They could keep you in for a week to a couple of weeks. Usually to adjust meds and make sure you are no longer having sucidal thoughts.  Your DH and family would have to watch your kids. Have you thought of doing something like a short stay in respite for a few days or doing a partial hospitalization program (PHP) where you go for the day but get to go home at night?


matreshka
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:46 AM

Do you have a doctor and/or a therapist?

Quoting katzmeow726:

Dh and family can't. They all work and none of them have the ability to take off for any extended time. I have no help

Quoting matreshka:

They could keep you in for a week to a couple of weeks. Usually to adjust meds and make sure you are no longer having sucidal thoughts.  Your DH and family would have to watch your kids. Have you thought of doing something like a short stay in respite for a few days or doing a partial hospitalization program (PHP) where you go for the day but get to go home at night?



rhodaj
by rho on Oct. 9, 2013 at 8:59 AM

 Depending on your insurance 3 days to a week. You may need to be in the partial hospital stay. But don't be afraid to ask for help no matter what. If you have a therpist or psych dr I would call one of them and see if you could get in right away.

katzmeow726
by on Oct. 9, 2013 at 9:11 AM

Unfortunately no, i don't.  I used to, but I don't have time to visit them.  No one to watch the kids during the day, and my evenings are busy with work so I can't do the after hours clinic that they had. I seriously have no real help right now.  I don't blame anyone, it's just that our family is in a very tight spot right now and no one can afford ot miss more than a couple of days of work. 

Quoting rhodaj:

 Depending on your insurance 3 days to a week. You may need to be in the partial hospital stay. But don't be afraid to ask for help no matter what. If you have a therpist or psych dr I would call one of them and see if you could get in right away.


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lyrick24
by Ruby Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 10:37 AM
Call 211 and ask for mental health services in your area. It is possible you could get in for a really reduced rate. You really need to seek out some help especially if you are having thoughts of suicide. You can't afford not to.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Oct. 9, 2013 at 1:36 PM
Honestly, if your having those thoughts I would go in. I know you don't have anyone to watch your kids but your kids and family need you. I'm sure your family could work something out just until you get better. I went in a few years ago for the same thing and was in the same position and my family worked something out. Having sucidal thoughts is horrible! I hope you decide to get some help.
I was in the hospital for a week when I had sucidal thoughts but it depends on the doctor.
lancet98
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 5:40 PM
1 mom liked this

 

In general, hospitals are reserved for emergencies and medication changes that require supervision(such as in a person with a medically complex situation).

I'm not sure what you feel you would get out of being in a hospital, or why you feel you need to be there for a brief visit.  What are you thinking the  hospital stay will do for you?

You usually don't get a ton of individual attention in a hospital, and the doctors and nurses are often pretty overloaded with work and trying to keep the more ill people calm.   The really top notch mental health facilities have good activities you can choose from (exercise, yoga, group therapy, counseling) and put you in touch with resources and outpatient care, for after you leave.   But at a lot of hospitals, the mental health department is a small area in a regular hospital, and options they offer, are a little thin.

Many people just get totally fed up with a lack of support and empathy, or their anxiety just seems so bad they don't know what else to do - they kind of get into a panic. 

Others are horrified by recurring thoughts of self harm.   They automatically assume if anything like that pops up they need to check into a hospital immediately.   And that may be true.   But sometimes, fleeting thoughts that don't lead to action, can be managed with medication and self help.   Sometimes they can, sometimes they can't.

If fleeting thoughts of ending it all turn into urges, impulses, if it makes you strangely happy to think about doing away with yourself, yes, go to the hospital.   Immediately.

Usually your gut instinct is reliable - if it seems really different and changed, and the thoughts are irresistable, it's time to get thee to a hospital.

And I can't say in your case as you might not be really telling me all of how bad things have gotten, but I can tell you this - if you check in to a hospital mental health department voluntarily, the general rule is that you go home when you want to.

For better or worse, most mental health care is entirely voluntary these days, and you usually only get exactly what you want to have, as far as mental health care.   And for the average person that works out fine.

Even if you don't check in voluntarily, say, if you are brought in involuntarily, you can generally leave after a short while.

It might be different if you have an 'Active Plan' - for example, if you actually are in the process of carrying out a suicide plan.

But even at that, your state will have a limit as to how long a hospital can keep you unless you WANT to stay there, even if you do feel suicidal.   I'm not saying that's always GOOD, EITHER!    Many people check themselves out these days, long before they've recovered enough to do so.

In general, your guiding rule should be this: do what you need to do to get healthy.  

Generally you get the ball rolling with a talk with your regular family doctor or perhaps a counselor.   That first contact usually results in a recommendation or referral.  

You might wind up seeing a psychiatrist and getting a prescription for medication, therapy or both.   Then you'd see the psychiatrist again every few weeks, just so s/he can keep tabs on how your treatment is working.   Often a psychiatrist will be worried that you might have some other medical issues causing your symptoms, so s/he might recommend some other tests - to make sure there is no problem with thyroid, sleep disorder, vitamin deficiency, etc.  

Then, if you experience an emergency - you usually call your psychiatrist and ask him/her what to do, or call on the way to the hospital.  Psychiatrists are usually good about giving you guidelines for when to go to the hospital.

Most of the time, kids, family, spouse, even your boss, will be so delighted that you're feeling better that they'll be happy you went to the hospital.  Expect lots of big hugs and hand shakes when you get back, if you choose to tell people about it.

 If you need to go, you need to go, just like anyone with any illness would need to do.   You wouldn't go limping around on a broken leg, or put a bandaid on it if it needed a cast, would you?   So no big difference. 

Many people have a very exaggerated idea of what sort of powers the hospital has as far as length of hospitalization, and sadly, it often keeps them from getting the help they actually need.  

Quoting katzmeow726:

My depression and anxiety are getting worse. But I am afraid to ask for help. I know I need to consider the hospital, but I am afraid. How long would they keep me if I Am having suicidal thoughts? And what will my dh do. If I go In, who will watch my kids? I can't go in for a long time. And I don't want my family to know...my mother will get all emotional and my dad will just act like I am being dramatic. My mom will feel the need to hug all over me, but when I am like this i do NOT like to be touched. It is even hard to be touched by dh or my kids.
What happens if I go to the er? My fear is holding me back


 

dizzy77702
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2013 at 6:47 PM
I just wanted to say that I am impressed by the support and advice you give in this group lancet. I hope that's not going overboard or crossing lines by saying that. I am honestly impressed and couldn't of said it better if I had done research and formulated my answer for weeks. Lol


Quoting lancet98:

 


In general, hospitals are reserved for emergencies and medication changes that require supervision(such as in a person with a medically complex situation).


I'm not sure what you feel you would get out of being in a hospital, or why you feel you need to be there for a brief visit.  What are you thinking the  hospital stay will do for you?


You usually don't get a ton of individual attention in a hospital, and the doctors and nurses are often pretty overloaded with work and trying to keep the more ill people calm.   The really top notch mental health facilities have good activities you can choose from (exercise, yoga, group therapy, counseling) and put you in touch with resources and outpatient care, for after you leave.   But at a lot of hospitals, the mental health department is a small area in a regular hospital, and options they offer, are a little thin.


Many people just get totally fed up with a lack of support and empathy, or their anxiety just seems so bad they don't know what else to do - they kind of get into a panic. 


Others are horrified by recurring thoughts of self harm.   They automatically assume if anything like that pops up they need to check into a hospital immediately.   And that may be true.   But sometimes, fleeting thoughts that don't lead to action, can be managed with medication and self help.   Sometimes they can, sometimes they can't.


If fleeting thoughts of ending it all turn into urges, impulses, if it makes you strangely happy to think about doing away with yourself, yes, go to the hospital.   Immediately.


Usually your gut instinct is reliable - if it seems really different and changed, and the thoughts are irresistable, it's time to get thee to a hospital.


And I can't say in your case as you might not be really telling me all of how bad things have gotten, but I can tell you this - if you check in to a hospital mental health department voluntarily, the general rule is that you go home when you want to.


For better or worse, most mental health care is entirely voluntary these days, and you usually only get exactly what you want to have, as far as mental health care.   And for the average person that works out fine.


Even if you don't check in voluntarily, say, if you are brought in involuntarily, you can generally leave after a short while.


It might be different if you have an 'Active Plan' - for example, if you actually are in the process of carrying out a suicide plan.


But even at that, your state will have a limit as to how long a hospital can keep you unless you WANT to stay there, even if you do feel suicidal.   I'm not saying that's always GOOD, EITHER!    Many people check themselves out these days, long before they've recovered enough to do so.


In general, your guiding rule should be this: do what you need to do to get healthy.  


Generally you get the ball rolling with a talk with your regular family doctor or perhaps a counselor.   That first contact usually results in a recommendation or referral.  


You might wind up seeing a psychiatrist and getting a prescription for medication, therapy or both.   Then you'd see the psychiatrist again every few weeks, just so s/he can keep tabs on how your treatment is working.   Often a psychiatrist will be worried that you might have some other medical issues causing your symptoms, so s/he might recommend some other tests - to make sure there is no problem with thyroid, sleep disorder, vitamin deficiency, etc.  


Then, if you experience an emergency - you usually call your psychiatrist and ask him/her what to do, or call on the way to the hospital.  Psychiatrists are usually good about giving you guidelines for when to go to the hospital.


Most of the time, kids, family, spouse, even your boss, will be so delighted that you're feeling better that they'll be happy you went to the hospital.  Expect lots of big hugs and hand shakes when you get back, if you choose to tell people about it.


 If you need to go, you need to go, just like anyone with any illness would need to do.   You wouldn't go limping around on a broken leg, or put a bandaid on it if it needed a cast, would you?   So no big difference. 


Many people have a very exaggerated idea of what sort of powers the hospital has as far as length of hospitalization, and sadly, it often keeps them from getting the help they actually need.  


Quoting katzmeow726:

My depression and anxiety are getting worse. But I am afraid to ask for help. I know I need to consider the hospital, but I am afraid. How long would they keep me if I Am having suicidal thoughts? And what will my dh do. If I go In, who will watch my kids? I can't go in for a long time. And I don't want my family to know...my mother will get all emotional and my dad will just act like I am being dramatic. My mom will feel the need to hug all over me, but when I am like this i do NOT like to be touched. It is even hard to be touched by dh or my kids.
What happens if I go to the er? My fear is holding me back



 


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