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**Update**Is my husband being unsupportive??

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 3:09 PM
  • 9 Replies

So I was really well all spring and summer but now I'm not doing so well. My severe fatigue, which we presume is depression, is back. My dh takes me to my dr's appointments (about every 2 months) b/c I have a fear of driving into the city. Otherwise, I drive regularly....just not to Philadelphia. He works full time so I understand that it takes him away from work to take me. 

I just talked to him and said, "Thank God my appointment is tomorrow because I am really not doing well." He said, "I'm not glad about it because I have things to do."

Couldn't he say something nice about getting me better or that it was good timing because I'm so fatigued/down? He didn't complain about taking me when I was doing well.

I feel like he has a hard time being supportive when I'm suffering :(


**Well, he had a crazy day at work. He expected it to be quiet but had this huge financial transaction he didn't expect...hard to describe, so I'm not too upset about his reaction. I am now reading up on "crashing fatigue during perimenopause". I think this could be part of what's going on with me. Thanks for the replies!


by on Oct. 21, 2013 at 3:09 PM
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Replies (1-9):
matreshka
by Ruby Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 4:36 PM
1 mom liked this
was he in a bad mood when he said that? my dh can be moody but apologizes when he makes comments like that.
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momwriter
by Bronze Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 5:23 PM

IDK, maybe. He can be "short" at times. He actually said "It wastes his whole day" (meaning the appointment.) 

So I texted him something like "So I feel like my life is slipping away and you're worried about a day?"   He called and didn't exactly apologize, just said he's busy/worried about making money (things have been tight and he works on commission).

Quoting matreshka:

was he in a bad mood when he said that? my dh can be moody but apologizes when he makes comments like that.



matreshka
by Ruby Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 5:59 PM
work stress can be very hard. my DJ's job has given him ibs and he can be really short with me when he gets out of work and says rude things about me being home all day even though I'm on disability.

Quoting momwriter:

IDK, maybe. He can be "short" at times. He actually said "It wastes his whole day" (meaning the appointment.) 

So I texted him something like "So I feel like my life is slipping away and you're worried about a day?"   He called and didn't exactly apologize, just said he's busy/worried about making money (things have been tight and he works on commission).


Quoting matreshka:

was he in a bad mood when he said that? my dh can be moody but apologizes when he makes comments like that.




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B3autiful_Hat3
by Bronze Member on Oct. 21, 2013 at 6:05 PM

 HUGS

lucy164
by Peggy on Oct. 21, 2013 at 7:18 PM

My husband used to drive me to all my appointments while I wasn't driving.  Sometimes he didn't mind and sometimes he did.  Your husband may have been tired or a little grouchy yesterday.  As long as he takes you is really all that matters.  I'm like you but it's Boston I won't drive to.

MayBeeIAm
by on Oct. 22, 2013 at 7:08 AM
My husband would never drive me anywhere! I think you're lucky that he helps you as much as he does, but I get what you're saying, he could be sensitive.
captainjack
by Bronze Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 10:15 AM

I don't think my husband knows how to react when I am depressed and I think alot of husbands are like that.

sumannie
by Member on Oct. 22, 2013 at 10:27 AM

My dh does that with me sometimes as well. Makes me feel like I am not important.

luvmia
by Bronze Member on Oct. 23, 2013 at 8:49 PM

Have you had your blood work completed lately? Your Vitamin D level could be low which can cause depression.

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