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I feel like I'm giving up

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:59 AM
  • 10 Replies

I don't know if I am going to bounce back this time.

My DF and I are really starting to have problems because of my depression. We have been through SO much together and it breaks my heart that this thing... that I feel like I should be able to control.... is the thing that's really ripping us apart.

He just does not seem to understand. He is so frustrated with me being depressed. He complains that he can't joke around with me like he used to be able to, that I take everything SO personally.

Last night I got off a 12-hour day at school and when I got home I tried to go to sleep and he was sitting there next to me in the bed all pissed off at me for trying to sleep. We had previously agreed that it was "his night" to put Oliver to bed and wake up to feed him. We are SUPPOSED TO alternate, but it feels like every time it's his turn he gets mad at me for sleeping or has an excuse why it "isn't fair" that I am in bed, so I just end up getting up anyway. So I ended up just getting up and taking care of the baby anyway because I felt so damn guilty for trying to get some sleep. I also woke up at 3:30 am to feed the baby. Then this morning when he was leaving for work, he said, "Don't forget tonight is your night to take care of the baby, Cassie." Wtf. Like he doesn't seem to understand that me getting only a few hours of sleep is a huge reason why I'm depressed. If I could just get a good night of sleep every other night like we agreed, I would be so much more able to cope.

I cancelled my appointment with my counselor today. Even thinking about going is exhausting..

DF just makes these subtle comments to me about how I have "so much" free time. He makes me feel like a lazy, lousy mother for dropping the baby off at his sitter's house so that I can do homework and go to school. It's not like when I drop the baby off I go back home and sleep. I wake up at 5 every morning and take the baby to the sitter's at 7, then I either go to class, or I go back home to do homework. It's not like I'm laying around being lazy. I'm working really hard to get good grades so I can graduate and have a good job.

Now today I just feel like I am in a cloud. I can't even think straight. It took so much energy to just open up my laptop and type this. I can't even think clearly enough about what homework needs done. I don't think I'm going to even do it. There's no point.

by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 11:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
KyahZia
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:07 PM
Sometimes men don't get it. I know this sounds corny but have you tried talking to him? If that doesn't work maybe a letter? Best wishes.
mommybock10
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:15 PM

 Every time I have tried to talk to him about it, he has either one of these responses: He will either get more pissed off, saying that I'm being way too sensitive. Or he will say I'm just taking things the wrong way.

 

Thanks for replying.

Quoting KyahZia: Sometimes men don't get it. I know this sounds corny but have you tried talking to him? If that doesn't work maybe a letter? Best wishes.

 

KyahZia
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:19 PM
Are you able to go out for a whole day and let him stay with the baby? Mite give him some insight? He might be feeling overwhelmed too and taking it out on you unfortunately.
3kidz123
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:22 PM
1 mom liked this

You don't seem to be the problem...he sounds like an ass! Tell him he can bitch all he wants but he will take the baby every other night! You need sleep and he needs to grow up and man up.

hugs

leahbeah143
by Leah on Jan. 16, 2014 at 12:52 PM

 ugh men can be so clueless sometimes! Does he go to bed when it's your night with the baby? Tomorrow, before he goes to work, remind him nicely that it's his night with the baby. Just like he so nicely reminded you. Then, go to bed, or do whatever you want to do and don't feel guilty about it.

lyrick24
by Group Admin on Jan. 16, 2014 at 2:08 PM

You probably should have kept the appt with your counselor. You need to be on meds. I would see a Dr. You have struggled enough. Your husband sounds like he is taking you for gra ted and not giving you credit for what you are doing. It might be a good idea if you went to counseling together.

lucy164
by Peggy on Jan. 16, 2014 at 2:42 PM


Quoting leahbeah143:

 ugh men can be so clueless sometimes! Does he go to bed when it's your night with the baby? Tomorrow, before he goes to work, remind him nicely that it's his night with the baby. Just like he so nicely reminded you. Then, go to bed, or do whatever you want to do and don't feel guilty about it.


momwriter
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 5:00 PM

I agree. Make an appointment!

Quoting lyrick24:

You probably should have kept the appt with your counselor. You need to be on meds. I would see a Dr. You have struggled enough. Your husband sounds like he is taking you for gra ted and not giving you credit for what you are doing. It might be a good idea if you went to counseling together.


luvmia
by Silver Member on Jan. 16, 2014 at 8:57 PM
He sounds really selfish and narcisstic. You might just have to tell his ass to help out or get the fuck out. It"s just that simple. He is obviously manipulating you and you are allowing it. If anyone is lazy, it sounds like it is him.
livnlane
by on Jan. 16, 2014 at 9:08 PM
You are extremely busy with school and work so it is only fair to alternate nights with the baby. I don't know how you do it.
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