I feel myself entering that "dark place" and there is not a thing I can do about it. I am just gonna have to roll with it. Overall, I know that I have to be strong but today I am haunted and the weight of it hurts my heart. The depression is so heavy and suffocating. I work hard at being well. Have been in therapy since 2009. Never miss a doctors appointment. Take my meds. Spend time with my child just being a big kid myself. It's the world that comes in and the people around me are toxic at times. Just oblivious to the damage they can cause. Is it their fault for being foolish or mine for being weak? Who knows? I just know that being judged and invisible is painful. To have feelings that are not validated, wants that don't matter and to reach out to be pushed away can hurt the best of us. To those of us already battling depression it's a hard blow.
So, I don't expect today to be a good day but I am expecting tomorrow to be a much better one. Some days are better than others.